Not to go to this wedding- how can I get out of it ?

[arghhhg]

Is this bad form ?

The bride invited us in January to the wedding in august.

I was friends ( part of a group ) with the bride in early twenties and we lived in a house share for a couple of years.

Bride came to my wedding 5 years ago. I've seen her twice since. Once at my birthday party after my wedding and another time a few years later at another wedding.

We don't really communicate. I made an effort to invite her over earlier this year but she couldn't come. Then I got the invite and suggested we she should visit, but no reply.

Would it be mean to not go ? Seeing as she came to my wedding ? I feel like there hasn't been much effort. I think she's also planned a weekend away recently with our friend group ( looked like a type of mixed hen ) and I didn't get an invite to that either. She came to my hen. ( mixed hen do, not the traditional type ).

I just feel like if she can't be bothered to invite me to her hen do / reply to messages asking to hang out/ is not making any effort - why should I go ?

Just buy a card that says you can’t go and send that. Like this - or a nicer one ideally

https://amzn.to/3NkPwZL

Yes i do and do organise event for a living so well aware thanks

In that case why did you advise the OP “Just dont go. See if she notices”.

She may well have invited you because you’re part of a social group together even though no longer individually friends, and she felt that not inviting you would have been too rude, awkward within the group, and an unkind and public way to signal the end of your friendship. There are certainly a few people like that who I’ve invited to my wedding. The biggest favour they could have done me was politely decline so I could have invited others, but they accepted. Quite possibly they also don’t really care about me but think it would be rude not to say no! A silly social dance but that’s life.

At this stage (four months before my wedding but after the RSVP deadline) I’d still be (secretly) pleased if one of them dropped out, because there’s still time to upgrade evening guests. The closer it gets the more annoying it would be. I can’t speak for your friend and her wedding planning but there’s probably still time for her to change the catering numbers or upgrade some evening guests. So yeah, if you really don’t care about her or your friendship then definitely pull out now and she can at least invite someone who does or save some money.