Childcare solutions giving me severe anxiety

[FufuTime]

Posting here for traffic.

Due back in 2 months. Requested to work flexibly. Its never been an issue previously.
They've only given me one of my requested day, the other two days (thurs and Friday)were not my requested days.

The friday is not possible,I cannot drop the kids to school, baby to childcare and get to work for 8, without being late, it's just not possible. OH works away on that day and has done that shift for 7+ years. Hes already said hes unable to change his shift, If he does they will put him on a new contract where he has to be fully flexible, meaning they can call him whenever.

It's just me and OH we dont have family around . Financially I'll be spending more per day sending baby to childcare then I earn, its insane thinking I'll be putting baby in childcare to keep my job. The nurseries that I have enquired to have said minimum 3 day per week, so I'll be paying extra days when I wont really need it, as OH said he'll take care of baby on the other days I'm at work.

I've explained all this to my employer but they've said they cannot do anything further. This whole childcare aspect has given anxiety throughout my maternity leave. If anyone has a solution or ideas which dont involve leaving work, I'd really like to hear them.

Hi op. Would a nanny be possible? What are the baby's childcare hours? Maybe someone who can drop both kids and baby off at school and childcare?

It's always so stressful, OP.

Is there a childminder who has openings?

Sometimes when they are very little, childcare vs earnings doesn't balance out but if you long-term plans/career plans, it's worth it.

Also don't fall in the trap of thinking of childcare as 'your deduction'. It's a family cost for both you and your family.

Breakfast club? Would work consider you starting at 830 and taking a shorter lunch?

Did you work Fridays before? Is it the baby element that now makes it hard?

Ask the school if they know any childminders who drop/collect from your kids school. If they've got space, book the baby in with them and do the handover on the schoolyard.

I’d look into childminders. They are usually cheaper than nurseries and more flexible with days i.e there wouldn’t be a 3 day minimum.

Childminder, breakfast club. Just to mention childcare should come from both wages not just yours

So did you ask for Mon, Tue, Wed and they’ve said Wed, Thurs, Fri - or something like that? Is that because your OH doesn’t work Wednesdays and Thursdays so can look after the children, but on Fridays he works and so you need childcare but can’t find a nursery which opens early enough?

If you’re able to clearly set it all out it’ll be easier for others to help propose solutions.

Personally if you’re spending more than you’re earning and it’s massively stressful I would consider not going back but I know that’s really against the main MN ethos.

(I went back for 1 year after Mat leave and then quit to be SAHM as meetings going on til 6pm and nursery pick up at 6pm just wasn’t working for me)

you say 'kids' to school and baby to nursery so you've got at least 3? nanny likely to be the best option.

and remember only half of it comes out of your wage. this is his problem too.

Could even be less than half if you split according to income

Childminder op. Much more flexible and usually a home from home vibe.

I'd really try to stay in some sort of employment. If DP loses his job you might have to up your hours/get a new job.

Could you start work half an hour later or use breakfast club?

I'd look at alternate options. A childminder or nanny (or nanny share) would likely be more flexible.