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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to do a horror escape room

67 replies

dreamsiclex · 20/06/2023 12:24

It's my birthday soon, a friend has booked for us to do a horror escape room. It's just the two of us and I'm terrified. The trailer for this escape room looks terrifying. It's just not my sort of thing at all, I don't even watch horrors because I'm such a scaredy cat. I've told her I'm too scared but she's adamant "I'll love it" and that "it will be fun". It won't be, for me at least. I'll hate every second of it and I won't even want to enter the room. I'll probably have a panic attack. Is it really bad if I just say I'm not doing it? Or should I be grateful and not say anything but have the worst day ever.

OP posts:

Iwantcakeeveryday · 20/06/2023 12:42

please don't tie yourself in knots over it, its your birthday! Just say, no I really hate this sort of thing. Your friend will probably understand and if not they're a bit silly but will get over it. I would never do anything like this!

WetBandits · 20/06/2023 12:43

Is it possible to contact the company running the escape room and see if they have any other rooms you might enjoy? The escape room company near me has about ten different setups, only one or two are scary!

Needmorelego · 20/06/2023 12:43

@dreamsiclex if she’s not happy about you not wanting to go then she isn’t a friend at all.

Mischance · 20/06/2023 12:45

Just say No - sounds like a total waste of life.

Curiosity101 · 20/06/2023 12:45

Is it 'The Butcher' @dreamsiclex ? YANBU but if it's the butcher then you're especially within your rights to say no.

We have been to that particular company several times with work so I happen to know a lot of people who have done that particular room... It's literally terrifying.

BarbaraofSeville · 20/06/2023 12:45

Is this a gift for her or for you?

Just tell her you'll hate every minute of it, it will probably give you panic attacks and nightmares and you're not doing it.

What sort of thing would she hate, but you love? How would she feel if you booked for scuba diving, ice climbing or a spider stroking experience for her birthday, because you loved those things but she hates them?

Original poster

dreamsiclex · 20/06/2023 12:48

@Curiosity101 yes it is!!! Apparently when she rang to book, the man on the phone said even he wouldn't do it and he works there!

OP posts:

RoseslnTheHospital · 20/06/2023 12:50

She was daft to book it before checking with you if you'd like it, and she's not as good a friend as she thinks she is if she wasn't aware that you'd really not want to do this.

I don't mind horror films and love doing escape rooms, but not ones with live actors buggering about. That's too much for me, and I don't want randoms touching me or pretending to attack me.

I'd say that @GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing response is perfect. Don't feel you need to apologise or placate her.

dottiedodah · 20/06/2023 12:51

dreamsIclex Its your birthday after all.She sounds like she wants to go! Good idea for a different theme .I find RL scary enough at times, without horror films! Lots of people seem to want us to "see theres nothing to be scared of" and seem to think something like this will "cure" us ! Sorry but I dont think theres anything wrong with me to not like Blood ,Gore and the "G" word (Sorry cant write it or say the word)! We all have different tastes .My DH loves them ,but he doesnt watch them as he knows I am scared .In return he watches football whenever he wants!

Hedgesgalore · 20/06/2023 12:53

Oh heck such a thing/activity actually exists? Firm no from me, uh uh, nope.

Original poster

dreamsiclex · 20/06/2023 12:54

Best thing about it is she wasn't going to tell me, was going to have it as a surprise! Imagine my face getting there on the day and just finding out what we were doing. I would have just walked straight back out

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 20/06/2023 12:55

You're an adult, op, grow a backbone. Tell her no. You're not doing it, end of conversation.

CouldIHaveThatInEnglishPlease · 20/06/2023 12:55

I love an escape room but there’s no way I would do a horror one. I’d suggest you phone up the place and see if you can swap to a non horror room, and if not just tell her no, your not doing it.

SunnyEgg · 20/06/2023 12:55

Just tell her

WetBandits · 20/06/2023 12:56

dottiedodah · 20/06/2023 12:51

Now I’m wracking my brains trying to work out what the ‘other G word’ could possibly be

BriocheBums · 20/06/2023 12:57

She's not your friend if she's putting you in a situation that you really don't want to be in
She's booked it for herself and it sounds as though she's going to take great delight in seeing you stressed and upset
Certainly not my idea of fun
Tell her no, if she kicks off tell her to find someone else to go with
I hope you enjoy your birthday with another friend who isn't so selfish and sadistic

HadEnoughOfBears · 20/06/2023 12:58

Guts??

I wouldn't ever be able to do this OP, you need to tell her that she'll have to change it.
Message her now.

Grandville · 20/06/2023 13:01

Yeah don't do this if you are a wuss. I love them but they are not for everyone! I've done one where I was strapped to an electric chair in a cupboard, giving clues to the others to be able to unlock me. Also done ones with actors doing jump scares. They can be very dimly lit which can be spooky and unsettling.

You would not enjoy yourself.

dottiedodah · 20/06/2023 13:02

WetBandits Sorry, unrelated as such ,but dead people reappearing! (Sorry best way to describe it)

TenoringBehind · 20/06/2023 13:03

Just tell her!

All you have to say is that you really appreciate her putting the time and effort into organising something unusual but it’s really your idea of hell. Surely she will understand.

ThePoshUns · 20/06/2023 13:04

It would be a no from me. I hate horror films and even find ghost trains too scary.
I would politely refuse to go. Selfish of her to book something she likes but you don't.

Buyyouflowers · 20/06/2023 13:05

It’s not real. Don’t be ungrateful.

Thepossibility · 20/06/2023 13:06

Fuck. That.
I don't hate horror but it would be absolutely hell to have people jumping out at me!
I would pay not to do it.
How nice of her to buy herself a present for your birthday

CurlyQueues · 20/06/2023 13:07

Apparently when she rang to book, the man on the phone said even he wouldn't do it and he works there!

She really doesn't want you looking forward to this, does she? YADNBU not wanting to do it. Why would you want to spend any day, let alone your birthday, doing something you don't like. I'd tell her sooner rather than later.

I hope you have a happy birthday, doing something you enjoy, whether you spend it with her or not.

P1ckledonionz · 20/06/2023 13:08

To summarise...

(a) your "friend" doesn't actually know you very well - either because you haven't shared enough information with her or she is unable to hear what she doesn't want to hear.
(b) she is severely lacking in empathy/ is very self-centered if she thinks you will love something simply because she loves it.
(c) you are so worried about confronting her that your are considering doing something that will likely give you are panic attack! This is very unreasonable! Is this about you feeling like you need to please other people, or does she have form for reacting badly if you try to express feelings that don't align with her own?

Give yourself the best birthday gift by being a friend to yourself. Would you let a friend do something that really scares them?

Simply tell her what you have said in your post here - it is really clear and easy to understand how you feel. If she reacts badly and insists you do an activity that would give you a panic attack then this is not a good friend for you! You'd be better off celebrating your birthday doing something you love on your own.

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