Ds 4 dad had a breakdown when I was pregnant. He lost a very lucrative career and shortly after his dad died, he then went from one crisis to another, drinking, gambling etc. I stayed well away but said he could see dc with me around, if he wanted to. Instead of this, he has spent the last four years sending me money (more than cms amount, always on time, always checks I have received it - he is not short of money and seems to take this part of responsibility seriously). He texts every couple of weeks and asks how ds is… it’s never been anything in depth but just says he hopes ds is ok and when he was teething it was ‘how are his gums’ for example… never any practical help or support. He has photos every few months. I’ve maintained that he can see ds and often asked why he hasn’t. He completely ignores me when that question is asked and he just moves the conversation back to general ‘how is ds, send him a hug from me’ etc. Ds is now beginning to work out his dad isn’t around after spending more time in nursery. Do I tell him his dad asks about him? Do I say his dad cares? I have no idea how to handle this as I don’t think his dad is a bad person, but obviously has many difficulties. How do I go about this with a four year old?!