Hearing DP eating gives me rage!!

[Laughingstock1991]

I’ve just had to leave the room as listening to DP chewing was literally giving me rage 🫣😂 I know there’s a name for it - I think perimenopause is making it worse- I can’t stand it to the point of wanting to make him go & eat in the garden forever 😱

Aibu?! It can’t be a healthy response!

I voted yanbu because I have misophonia/sensory issues too. Investing in some ear buds like Flare or Loop (I have both) might be helpful. Also, if we recognize this as a processing issue that we have, we can't reasonably blame the other person for making 'normal' (albeit infuriating) noises, so perhaps it's more reasonable for you to just remove yourself to another room while he eats?

@Swishytwip ooh i never knew there were special ear buds I could get! It’s got a lot worse with my mid life hormone changes

I hear you! Hormonal fluctuations, stress, tiredness, being overwhelmed/burnt out all can make it worse. The earbuds are great for supermarkets (or any noisy places) too.
You might also try 'tuning in' to yourself and noticing if other 'background' noises are adding stress you're not even aware of - eg if my washing machine is running and the TV is on and then one of the kids starts talking, I have to eliminate at least one of those sounds to be able to cope without feeling really stressed. It's ok, it's just a processing difference. Once you identify your own 'triggers', you can often help yourself to
cope a bit better.
Framing this as 'I'm struggling', rather than 'you are being annoying' will help you to treat yourself and him with compassion and can only benefit your relationship.
Best of luck.

My DS struggles with this. He finds it easier when there is background noise eg music, so the noise of people eating is less obvious

Perimenopause makes everything worse. Just the sound of DH breathing gives me the rage these days.

Perimenopause actually made me want to kill people who ate near to me, especially on public transport.

Forgot to add the useful part of the comment - that since I've been on HRT it feels a lot better. Are you taking anything for yours?

@NBLarsen not yet but the nurse is ringing me today!! Before I throttle DP 😬😂

@grimmers44 ha ha, and me!! Every noise he makes actually 😬🫣

Misophonia

People with misophonia are affected emotionally by common sounds — usually those made by others, and usually ones that other people don't pay attention to. The examples above (breathing, yawning, or chewing) create a fight-or-flight response that triggers anger and a desire to escape. Misophonia is little studied and we don't know how common it is. It affects some worse than others and can lead to isolation, as people suffering from this condition try to avoid these trigger sounds. People who have misophonia often feel embarrassed and don't mention it to healthcare providers — and often healthcare providers haven't heard of it anyway. Nonetheless, misophonia is a real disorder and one that seriously compromises functioning, socializing, and ultimately mental health. Misophonia usually appears around age 12, and likely affects more people than we realize.

Haha my hubby eating drives me nuts to 😅

Omg i actually feel my nerve endings jingling when DH eats, slurps, yawns loudly. I feel like such a cow but I genuinely can’t help it. I have to either put my fingers in my ears or leave the room.

Mind you I probably make the same noises eating myself (I hope I don’t) 🤣🤣