To ask how long you ‘give’ a job? Ie to work out if it’s for you or not?

[Cracklecrack]

For context i career changed 2 or so years ago- degree subject (before that worked in different industry for 15 years).

When I first qualified I worked in one public sector organisation. Liked the job but inflexible completely-they dithered around with a flexible working request weekend, BH work. Refused me leaving half hour early (and coming in half an hour early) to take kids to an appointment. Bit of a pain with kids.

Moved to another public sector job a year ago, much for flexible - hours I asked for, hybrid working. A yes for every annual leave, leave early request etc - so much better hours wise with kids. The catch is that training and support is lacking - severely in my opinion. On the rare occasion I see/ speak to others about this it’s the general consensus. I’ve told them I don’t understand some things and o get met with “you’re fine” and even “it’s the same job as before so I dunno what the problem is” and “you’re really great at your job” rather than offers of support/ training/ eplanations of what I don’t understand. If I left next week I don’t even think anyone would notice cos it’s so much wfh. I find hybrid working (read work at home or in an office on your own still talking to pple on teams so may as well save yourself the journey) really isolating and asking questions about your job on a teams chat pales in comparison to real life support in my opinion. I also really don’t like phoning clients at home- find it quite invasive. The two people o actually found nice and helpful have left too.

It’s affecting my days off- I feel less connected to family/ friends, more distracted etc.

Boss is a bit strange- unboundaried and socially awkward and tries to talk you round to doing things rather than supporting tbh.

I keep telling myself I’m giving it another few months. This time I’ve said I’m giving it til October then on the job hunt.

happened to bump into someone at old work recently who basically said if I ever want to go back to apply and ask for working hours I want and they will probs accommodate them (this was my reason for leaving tbh) so this is playing on my mind 100% too.

Thanks for reading this far but AIBU to Ask how long you “give” a job before quitting and how when you knew it was time to go? Thanks

At most, I’d give it 3 months.
when I start a new job, I make a point to check in with myself after 3 days. If it’s a no, Ill try and make it 3 weeks and consider again. If it’s still a no, I look to leave from about 3 months. May seem harsh, but the job I knew I should’ve left (hated it, tried to stick it out then got let go), I knew within days I’d made a horrible mistake (relocated for it). If I’m honest, I knew on the first day. It just hadn’t felt right from day one (I’d gone against my gut on accepting the offer). My biggest regret work wise was not leaving sooner when I wasn’t happy. I tried to stick it out and hoped it would improve but it just didn’t. I was worried to leave too soon and have them mad at me, and scared to have the awkward leaving conversation at 3 months, but that didn’t stop them sacking me 2 months later. so now I no longer care if an employer will feel awkward. If you aren’t happy and the old place (otherwise fine) was still there, you have nothing to lose if
they accept the hours. The bad job I had really affected me, I didn’t realise how anxious and stressed I really was. Would have mini panic attacks while trying to get to sleep. I was so relieved when I got let go, which is telling.

been in my current role 5+ years now and had none of these feelings at all. I will always trust my gut when It comes to work.

Not long at all. Life’s too short.

I absolutely hated my job for the first few months but promised myself I'd give it at least 6 months.
SO pleased I did, as been doing it for 20+ years now and absolutely love it!

One of the fears is lots of short stretches on a CV, when recruiting if you've had plenty of long stretches, I blame the employer not the employee, if it's lots of short stretches it's a red flag. Looks like you have plenty of longer stretches so I wouldn't stay for the CV. Why do you think things will change, sounds like all that might work is your boss getting a new job! If you can't see that happening maybe talk to your old place, don't need to commit to much and maybe keep an eye out and apply for anything great, but not everything possible yet.

I could absolutely have written your post, the bit about your latest job. Same issue with training, same responses. I started last May. I was raising concerns verbally by October, in writing by November and again in January. Kept hanging on for new boss, restructure, new guidance. They either didn't materialise or didn't help. Lost condition and basically had. Breakdown and got signed off for 6 weeks. During which time I got a new, totally different, still public sector job. My last day in old place is this Friday.

I am nervous about new job, massively lacking confidence. I'm also resentful that 8ve been so let down. I know that it isn't me, they have been haemorrhaging staff.

With hindsight, 6 months is long enough to know. Good luck.

Good luck in the new job. Onwards and upwards. I’ve stopped bothering to say anything to be honest as I get met with ‘you’re fine’ etc.

I have a new supervisor who I think I need to say something to in my first 1:1 with her. I guess if she tells me I’m fine and shuts me down I know that’s it and I need to go as it’s obviously such a cultural thing rather than a my manager thing . 🤷‍♀️

Again good luck and thanks for commenting.

In my sector it takes 5 months to transfer roles due to notice required. I would therefore start applying at the 3 month point if unhappy.

Life is too short to stay in a job you don't like.

I have just got a new supervisor (old one left) who is my managers manager so thinking I should give that time. Also son starts secondary school in September and will be handy to be able to be at home for when he gets home (wouldn’t be able to do that if I went back to old place…. But I guess I could ask to leave early with the hours I request?)

Old supervisor was a grade above me and I think left because they put so much on her (supervising multiple people, own caseload and supervising students). I can only imagine they ignored her multiple times when she told them she had too much on her plate so she left. To get a grade above you have to do loads of competencies etc. which tbh theres nothing appealing about and just gives them a chance to put more stuff on you.

I have already just been told that I’m having a student in the next round which, tbh I have zero confidence for.

Yup tbh unless this supervisor is quite brilliant and turns it around in the next 3 months and they start listening I’m off.

In your shoes, I'd give it exactly as long as it took to find something better, where I was valued and well cared for.

Lack of support and lack of training are perfect valid reasons to leave, not that you need a reason to leave.

Don't underestimate the horrid feeling of not looking forward to going to work has on your overall well-being.

Start look right away and take your time to find something that really is better. Work out what you want from a job and get better each time I'm working out how to spot what you want before you accept the role.

This current role will have helped you to know what you don't want.

Good luck.

Not very long! I did stay in a bad job/life situation once for 2 years out of tactical necessity and while it worked out it still felt like a massive waste of life :(

I gave it six months before I started looking. Last year was awful, I could've written what you have and I was so fed up at work with no opportunity or support and totally switched off at home too. We talked this week about how we didn't use the bbq alll summer because I just couldn't face it! Ridiculous I hung on so long as I knew within a few days and had doubts about moving there. Wish I'd listened to my gut feeling.
I finally moved on after twelve months into a higher band with a new organisation and I am so so happy! I'd start looking life is too short

I think you’re right. I mean it’s not desperate- I’m not being made redundant, they’re not performance managing me etc I don’t feel bullied it’s a job for life if I want it but it’s this ongoing weight o feel. But the next one needs to be somewhere I can stay for a while. Starting new stuff is exhausting tbh.

Yes I think this is it. I feel like I need to get something out of the next move- well done you for moving on.

I actually felt the ick from the interview and remember saying to family I wouldn’t accept it if it was offered. And then when I asked what training and support there is before accepting it they said “well the mandatory online training (the stuff you do aaaannyyywhere) and then there’s the team teams chat”. Yh I knew then I just got blinded by their offer of more money and flexibility tbh .