Hi this going to be long and I just want to get some opinions because my head is battered with this.
so backstory my partner and I have been together for 5 years and have 2dc’s 4f and 1m. I’ve got a great relationship with my parents they help us with childcare and are generally loving and supportive. Fil and his wife are lovely but lives far away so we don’t see them often. now onto mil, mil and dp have always had a bit of a rocky relationship, mil definitely favours dp’s younger brother, but for the sake of the children having a relationship with mil dp used to take dc down to see her ever weekend, however since covid mil has become obsessed with conspiracy theories ( flat earth, anti-vaccine, lizard people, just to name a few). Just before Easter 4f started refusing to want to go see mil and we weren’t going to force her, but dp still took 1m to see mil, then the car broke down and dp had to take it into the garage and asked mil if she would drive him back to hers so he could start work ( he wfh) until the car was ready. When mil picked him up she started screaming at him and told him she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Dp obliged and went nc. 4f’s birthday was this weekend and given dps nc we didn’t invite mil, we’ll on the morning of 4fs birthday mil messaged asking dp if he was bringing 4f down for her present and dp replied he could for an hour, mil then replied saying leave it and we’d asked 4f if she wanted to see mil and get her present and she said no so dp text mil saying okay 4f doesn’t want to come anyway, we’ll since then dp has been sent messages no stop about how mil has been alienated, and how it’s mine and my families fault. Mil has even spoken with a friend of dps and said that the friend said we should be grateful we have a grandparent that wants to help. Should we message this friend and set the record straight? I’ve had nothing to do with mil in months so I don’t understand why I’m to blame.