I dropped my baby on the floor

[samebutdifferent1]

Name changed, regular MN user.

Please somebody help me feel less guilty about this, I've beat myself up all day, I've cried on and off, I've cuddled her all day thinking I must of terrified her.

She's 4 weeks old and the past week been suffering with reflux, I've been getting 30 mins of sleep before she wakes up screaming again because of the pain. I had a drs appt for this morning and in between DH and I have been giving her the drops and massaging tummy, bicycle legs, keeping her upright for 30 mins after bottle, we've changed bottles, teats. Tried everything.

DH has been working a 2 hour drive away for the past couple of days meaning he leaves at 4:30am to get on site for 7am. I've done the last two nights in the living room with the Moses basket.

I am absolutely dead on my feet. I picked DD up from another bout of crying and pain from her Moses basket about 4am and sat on the sofa watching tv whilst she was on my shoulder and I was rubbing her back. DH came in at half 4 with a bottle prepared for her.

I gave her the bottle and the next thing I know, she was screaming on the floor and it was 7am. She must have rolled from my lap and I just have just passed out from tiredness.

Luckily our sofas are very low and we have soft carpet, I immediately picked her up and was so upset I called 111. They asked if she was awake and responsive, she was. They asked me to check her head or body for any obvious bruising or swelling/redness, there wasn't any. They asked me what position she was in and I told them she was on her back. They asked if she could follow her rattle toys with her eyes which she could and then they stayed on the phone whilst I gave her another bottle and she sucked away happily until the pain of reflux kicked in again. I told them I had a GP appt in a couple of hours with her and they said she sounds fine, it happens all the time and to mention it to GP.

GP gave prescription for baby gaviscon and I told her about the sofa incident, she checked her over, felt her head and stripped her off, checked her reflexes etc and said she's absolutely fine and it happens more often than we think.

I still can't stop feeling awful. DH has called site and told them he will be in at lunch tomorrow so that I can go to bed tonight and have a full night sleep. He's tried to reassure me and said it could have just as easily been him on the nights that he does (we share nights or do shifts depending on where he's working etc).

I keep looking at her and crying. Please tell me others have done this and all was okay. I keep thinking I should take her to hospital in case her skull is fractured or something 😢

Most of us have been there in some form or other. I also dropped my baby due to sheer exhaustion.

I was standing up and he just somehow slipped out of my hands because I was so, so tired I fell asleep standing up for a second. I felt terrible.

After that we started safely co-sleeping, which for us personally helped a lot.

Your baby will be totally fine.

Oh lovely one - give yourself a big hug! Baby will be fine - am pleased your do is able to give you some solid rest.

Has she been checked for tongue tie? There can be times where they dont affect feeding as such but do mean the baby swallows more air and it can cause awful reflux.

hope you sleep!

I fell in a car park when mine was about 6 weeks old, grazed the side of his head (i had him in a sling). I was on my way into have him weighed and i was a mess, i thought i was the worlds worst parent.

He was completely fine!!

Just echoing what everyone else is saying - it's awful for you as a parent, but your baby will be fine.

Is there any way you can claw back some time to sleep, for yourself? Your DP has to leave at 4.30, but what happens otherwise? I know he must be finding the early start hard, but is he able to let you have a power nap in the evening?

I remember waiting at the Drs when a distraught woman came rushing in saying she had dropped her baby. The practice nurse came out, saying really calmly "They're built to last, you know. Built to last." I've found that such a reassuring memory over the years.

this is how we ended up cosleeping. I was just so exhausted and once I fall asleep while standing and holding her! I was so anxious all the time and just started laying her in bed next to me in a sleepyhead so i dont roll
on to her ( this is not recommended approach, I then learned about safe sleep 7) After that we were getting full night sleep! that is apart from getting up for food.

even if you are not open to cosleeping, still have a look at safe sleep 7. my midwife recommended it as at some point every parent is that exhausted and its best to be ready.

You dropped your baby because you are exhausted, it's not your fault x

I had a reflux baby and there was a moment where I was so tired that I was a risk to the baby... at that point we started co sleeping because that seemed much safer than being so tired I left the gas hob on!

Prepare your bed for safe cosleeping. A lot of women chose the more dangerous sofa over the bed, and it can be so dangerous, not just for dropping your baby but for positional asphyxia. You've both had a horrible fright but it's a wake-up call that you can't continue like that for both your sakes.

Look up the Safe Seven and make sure that if there's a risk you will fall asleep feeding her that you arrange yourself in a safe C-shape around her with no bedding, etc.

Op, please don’t beat yourself up. The exhaustion is very intense. I remember a midwife telling me a dad on the ward had fallen asleep holding his hours old baby and it had rolled on to the floor!

Do look in to safe cosleeping practices though as falling asleep on the sofa with a baby is so dangerous (I know how the exhaustion takes over though). Cosleeping saved my sanity.

You have my sympathies. Reflux in babies can be absolutely horrendous. We took my wee boy to an osteopath and it helped.

Sleep deprivation is an absolute killer. There's some stats on car accidents caused by sleep deprived parents and it's much higher than you'd think.

I know someone who woke up to find her baby had rolled off the bed onto the floor after she fell asleep feeding and I specifically remember a midwife taking my very newborn out of my arms because I was nodding off while holding her.

It's terrifying being both exhausted and respond for keeping something so fragile alive and the first time you realise it really knocks you for six but please don't beat yourself up. You won't even be the only person it's happened to today.

My 10 month all learned to crawl when I had my back turned, next think I new she had crawled to the stairs, fallen down them all and was screaming her head off at the bottom of them.

We all make mistakes, more so when tired. Thank goodness she is ok. It won't happen again. We live, learn and move forwards.....

My youngest took lots of accidental injuries when he was little. At 10 days old my eldest moved the red hot kettle next to where he was having a bath in the sink. He burnt his fingers on the side of it (no water in it just a hot metal kettle). My middle child them picked him up by the throat a few days and tried to bring him down stairs. When he was 12 weeks old I cut the top off his finger cutting his nails and then when he was 11 months old, I slipped on a wet marble floor with him on my shoulders and he landed head first on the marble. He was unconscious for 40 mins and rushed to hospital.

He's 13 now and taller than me and bright as a button. No lasting harm.

You are not alone and I'm sure you are doing fine. Forgive yourself.

I remember being in the hospital 4 days PP and all the babies were waking each other, I couldn't go home because of preeclampsia, and I sat on the edge of the hospital bed soothing her and suddenly I just jumped up where for a split second I had fallen asleep. The next day I cried to the midwife that I needed to go home and told them I needed the support I could get at home.

We have all had our moments, be kind to yourself. You've been doing your best, baby is happy and healthy and none the wiser, you need to forgive yourself

You're baby is fine, look in to cosleeping 🙂 the nhs doesn't advise against anymore as long as its done safely.

Oh God OP I think it's just a horrible rite of passage, my son rolled off the bed and when he hit the floor his neck bent and I thought he'd snapped his neck! Straight to A&E and I was in floods! (He was fine) Another time my husband was carrying him to his cot in his sleeping bag after I'd nursed him to sleep, he tripped and fell into the bay window window sill with the baby head first again! Another trip to A&E! Again fine, we were panicking SS would get involved the second time as the visits were quite close together. 😬

I dropped my 3 week old, I was walking and tripped over nothing, honestly nothing, it was a flat clear carpeted area and I was barefoot.

I sorta slow mo fell trying desperately to not let baby hit the floor, but the poor chap did. 😳

I also panicked, took me and baby straight to a and e minors (I know, complete overreaction) I was a crying bumbling mess at the check in desk. Lovely triage nurse came out, checked baby over and then just gave me a hug and said "you are not the first, you won't be the last, don't beat yourself up over it" and I just sat there sobbing saying things like "I'm only 3 weeks into this and I nearly killed him, I'm a terrible mother" "he went flying, I'm such a bad mum" . Looking back I do chuckle at it 🤣

P.s son was fine, no lasting damage. He's 9 now.

Honestly everyone has a story about a baby rolling off a bed or similar!!
My son rolled off a sofa on to a hard floor and I felt like the worst mother in the world!
But you know, babies are tough 😊
Your lovely baby will be absolutely fine.

I work on maternity wards and we honestly get women dropping their babies through pure exhaustion pretty often.

It was a mistake, she's fine. Forgive yourself, so many people accidentally do this.

She is very lucky to have two brilliant parents!

I agree, co sleeping made me feel human again. A lot of woman can be very judgmental but at 8 months we started co sleeping. I followed the rules and even went and got a platform bed so it was barely off the floor. Just her and me in a king bed with no pillows and one small blanket for me. We still co sleep now (14 months) but it's much more relaxed.

I walked in the room when DD2 was about two weeks old to see DH flinging her across the room onto the sofa. I was like WTF 😱😱😱😱😱 but he'd lost his balance while trying to stand up with her in his arms and had a split second decision on whether to chuck her (relatively gently!) onto the nearby sofa or let his whole body weight land on top of her. No harm done!

if it makes you feel better i dropped mine in a puddle - big muddy deep one as i climbed out of husbands F150 truck. He was fine and 17 years later seems to have survived ok! These things happen.

I hope all the posts that have already been left give you some reassurance @samebutdifferent1. There was an accident. You got appropriate medical advice. Your baby was physically checked over by a GP. You have done everything that you should do as a good parent in this situation. You’re doing great!

I also had a reflux baby and it was hell. As other have already suggested - have a look at how to safely co-sleep with your baby. I’m well aware that it probably feels pointless as you’ve no doubt nodded off during that 20-30 mins (which feels like 4 hours 😭😴) of trying to hold baby upright after the feed. But at least that happening and her falling into a safely set up bed is safer than a couch.

Do you have anyone that could come and hold your little one for a few hours while DH is at work to let you get a solid few hours sleep? ❤️ Please, if you have anyone at all then do it. I’ve been there and it’s so hard! You’ll feel 100x better after some sleep. I had mine during lockdown and DH was still having to go away for weeks at a time to work as he was classed as a keyworker. We had no family or anyone that was able to come to us so I literally spent weeks on end home alone in a relentless cycle of feeding, sick, constant crying (both me and my DS 😬) and so little sleep that I actually couldn’t function. It was the loneliest time of my life.

I really doubt there is any parent on here who hasn’t accidentally hurt their baby. My DH was lifting ours up high above his head to make him laugh and managed to thump his head off a door frame 😭

Another vote for preparing a safe surface for you both to sleep on. This could go on a while and you're obviously exhausted, it's going to happen again.

Mattress on the floor, firm, tight sheet, no pillows or duvets, small blanket for you around your waist. I even cut boob holes in t shirts so I could feed and drop off.

It's absolutely fucking brutal, but you'll get through it.

Best of luck.

You sound like a really good mummy! You did all the right things by calling 111 and getting her checked and then double checking at your doctors appointment! Like the doctor said, it happens way more than you would think! It was an accident and she has been checked and she is fine! I know that the guilt is hard to shake off right now but she's OK! Hope you're feeling a bit better now after seeing these responses!