Men striking conversations up ALL THE TIME

[betterdaysarecomingg]

I'm going to try and word this the best way I can and to try and not waffle, but AIBU to think this is weird?

Before I start, I wouldn't say I was drop dead gorgeous and that's why I attract attention and this is just some kind of brag of oh look at me men just love talking to me, in fact I wouldn't class myself as that attractive at all but I am never ever rude to the people who approach me

HOWEVER, what is with men just striking up random conversations all of the time? My family and friends now have a running joke that I must just have one of those faces that people are drawn to to talk to as it's everywhere I go, people literally make a beeline for me.

For example, I took my two young children swimming. 3 men in their 40s started conversations with me at different times, yes just being friendly but I can't help but think a swimming pool is not the place to start random chats with a woman on her own trying to stop 2 children from drowning.

Same as supermarkets, after school clubs, literally everywhere you can think of I can see men out of the corner of my eye making their way over to say something - usually stupid, unrelated to anything and pointless. Obviously I'm very polite back and move on but I'm always left thinking why? What is the purpose.

Yes I suppose it's nice that people feel comfortable enough to chat and I probably would find people a bit miserable if they didn't, but it's absolutely everywhere I go. I can't just run into anywhere to the point where it's now a running joke.

I very rarely strike up a conversation with a stranger and even more rare with a man who I don't know. Some of the times they literally but in to conversations I'm having with my children and add their 2 pence worth, even my 9 year old now says "that was strange mummy" when we walk away.

Does anyone else experience this? Like I said it's not that I think I'm so special but it's like I have a sign over my head that says "PLEASE COME AND TALK TO ME"

They do it for attention and women are socially trained to listen to men. We should just wander off whilst they're doing it.

I should try that!

Everyone talks to me, men and women. It's not sexual and I don't mind mostly.

Don't feel you have to entertain them.

At some point you will become invisible (I've found being heavier than I should and brushing my hair less worked a treat), and it's fucking fabulous

I think you must give off nice friendly person vibes. Maybe men are not intimidated by the way you look so feel confident to approach you.

What stbrandonsboat said - definitely!

Men don't really strike up conversations with me but I am oblivious.

Yes maybe it is that! I would say I am very average looking and weigh more than I probably should do so it's not as if they are chasing a supermodel

I'm a frumpy middle aged fattie but they still do it 😂 perhaps they think I'm their mum.

You're Asking us what we think the point is of people starting conversations with you. What do you think the point is?
Is it 'people' making a beeline for you, or just men? Do women never strike up conversations with you in the baths or after school club or supermarket?

@stbrandonsboat 🤣😂 same!

Honestly, men will talk to anyone. They need attention. Like toddlers 😂

I read online that if you want to freak someone out and make them go away then stare at their shoes.

I have that type of face/demeanour as well.
I'm always the person asked for directions when walking in a city- even if I've never been before.
If I'm on a guided tour the leader basically starts showing me round and ignores the rest of the group.
At a crowded bar I'm always saying to the server "Sorry, that person was in front of me".
Etc.etc.
I am pretty reserved and never start a conversation.
My sister is the same. How lucky we are when I read, on here, about some women feeling invisible.

I do. I call it my resting friendly face and have worked hard on looking less welcoming. I am not actually that friendly.

If you're out and about a lot with just young children, no other adults, it could partially be pick up artists in training. The online classes suggest different "types" of women to target to try their pitch or even just get used to chatting with women (not actually flirting or asking out, etc). A woman alone with small children is often a top pick as the idea is that you'll be less likely than a lone woman to make a quick getaway, you won't make a scene or call them out in front of the children, and because there's no other adult to give you a second opinion you'll convince yourself that the behaviour's normal and harmless and be more likely to stay and chat and not avoid them if you see them again.

Of course, it might not be that.

Were you in your swimming costume at the time?

Exactly the same! And yes I should be grateful because the opposite might feel a whole lot worse

This is good news as I talk to everyone, men and women, and it's not intended as sexual. Just passing the time with other people who share the planet. Nice to know there are others who don't mind (mostly 🤪)

If you’re on your own then stick some earphones in. That’s what I do and don’t make eye contact!
I’m usually at places with my husband so don’t really get spoken to there but if you don’t have a DP and earphones aren’t appropriate just do one word replies and don’t make eye contact!

I get spoken to by all ages and both sexes, I’m also up for a chat so it doesn’t bother me, I’m in my 60’s but it has happened all my life, my mum. was the sameI. I think it’s because I make eye contact and I’ve definitely got one of those faces.

Daughter's had this since very young. Back then, small children coming up to her to say hello. As she puts it "big eyes, big mouth" seem friendly to people. Male and female. She just exudes humour and friendliness. I went to senior school with very few girls, so guess I just see men as humans, but I don't think that you need to worry.

It happens even when I’m out with DH , I’ll end up talking to the person; next to me.

I used to "have one of those faces" always got approached, chatted to, asked for help. I'm late 50s now and it's stopped thank god!!

You need some big headphones and sunglasses to wear whenever you're out alone. It works wonders. You don't even need to listen to anything if you prefer to be more aware of your surroundings.

Sunglasses on their own do help, but they aren't as effective.

A painting from 1874, called 'The Irritating Gentleman' by Berthold Woltze.
Says it all really.