Speech delay

[Animallover101]

Hi all-

My DC has a speech delay. Don’t want to go into too much as don’t want to be outing but I’d day they are moderately delayed. AIBU to be upset with a friend who keeps telling me the new words, phrases her DC is coming out with? Called her out today very politely and said it’s upsetting me and they couldn’t see my side at all.

Hi! No you are not being unreasonable. My son didn't speak a word till he was 3 and it was really difficult not to compare and feel increased worry as time goes on.
Your friend is being really insensitive. If you have spoke to her and she unwilling to see it from your side and at least consider your feelings then dump her. Not a friend you need.

Hi. My LO has the most severe speech disorder possible. This is incredibly hurtful and I have been there. I had to say to myself 'this is a friend I cannot have right now'. Distanced myself. A few years later we are in a better place, love her again.

The SEN world is hard.

Even is she is lovely, be prepared that she probably will never 'get' it. Try to find others that do. And have the mentality 'I will be friends with X when I need to talk about other things'

I've been through this.
I don't mind when it's accidental as that can't be helped, (although I manage it with other parents or sensitive topics, don't bang on about pregnancy to infertile friend, don't complain about kids to friend who lost a baby, don't list child's milestones to friend whose baby is lagging behind, yet most people don't seem to care enough to bother filtering themselves to any degree)
But the fact that you have said it has upset you and been told it's not a big deal? That's not a friend you need right now.
Btw you are not alone, many many of us are going through the same or similar. I don't broadcast my child's difficulties unless it's got a purpose (like a friend pushing beyond capabilities) so please don't feel alone

thank you all for your comments. She’s been doing it for a good few months and I’ve always replied with “oh amazing so good” or “awww bless them”, or “I wish …. Could do that”. I’ve been very open with my anxieties and struggles with her regarding the delays and my DC has other health issues which she’s well aware of. It’s nice to know I’m not being crazy.

My child was completely non verbal until 4. Then sounds started and speech after a while.

honestly, I just smile and nod along with others. Their child’s achievements are worth noting, even though mine doesn’t have the same. If it was in a goading way I would call them out though.

I have a 4.5 non verbal son. You either distance yourself from this friend or you openly say, this is making me feel crap, could you just talk about this less please. It's not worth continuing to make yourself feel shit. And she sounds like a shitty friend to be honest.

Yanbu to feel how you do but she is not being unreasonable to be happy and excited about her own child’s development. I know it feels insensitive but it’s probably not malicious and she has every right to celebrate her child.
As a mum to a SEN child who’s passed school age I’d say that having a child with SEN can massively impact your happiness and friendships if you’re always going to compare and feel sensitive about your child’s delays. It’s not anyone/your friends faults and it’s difficult to have enjoyable long standing relationships with people where you continuously have to censor.
I found growing thick skin, being my sons best advocate, making friends with other SEN mums has helped us live out happiest life ❣️