Photo of ex?

[mybluemerc]

AIBU to be upset that my partner of 6 years (LT for 3) has put a family photograph of himself his ex and their kids up in his office? For clarity its a photo from the 90s. Kids are all grown up with kids of their own now.
I think its weird and really disrespectful to me?
AIBU?

Sounds bit controlling tbh

If he has other photographs of himself with his children, it's a bit odd. If not -then not.

Maybe there's lot of different reasons why people display photographs, but imo it's because it's a reminder of a particularly pleasurable occasion. I would be offended and upset if my partner wanted to display a photo that included his ex. It's impertinent.

Maybe he doesn't have one without her in it? Maybe it has particular memories for him? Maybe he just wants a picture of his family ( yes, as the mother of his kids, she will always be part of his family)? Maybe lots of reasons that have nothing to do with disrespecting you.

I can't see anything wrong with it. People are allowed to look back on their pasts fondly, even once they're in a relationship with someone else.

DP sometimes goes out for a couple of drinks with her ex fiance when he's in town. They're still friends, just worked out that they didn't work together as a couple (luckily before they married).

I find it a bit controlling to want your partner to erase their past.

I think it is disrespectful yes. A bit different if it had just always been up and he hadn't taken it down, but weird to put it up now. I'd be very surprised if he didn't have any photos from that time just of his kids, which would have been fine.

Have you spoken about it?

This isn't a given. Some people might view their ex as "always" their family but many don't. My DP would happily drop kick his ex off a cliff and would rather die than see her as family.

People are entitled to not be willing to be with one of the former type of people. They are not the standard.

Is it possible that one of the children gave it to him to put in his office? In which case it would seem nasty if he refused.

I'm sorry, I'm not sure how to quote previous posters.

I think there's a big difference between wanting somebody to erase their past, and and not dragging it into the present by displaying it on the office wall... she's not asking him to burn the picture.

I also disagree with the assumption that ex will always be part of the husbands family. She'll certainly always be part of the children's family. I think It entirely depends on the individual set up. Many people choose to leave their ex's behind and no longer view them as family because they've chosen to split!

For context the office is in our house. We have lots of pics up of the kids and grandkids. I have no issues and get on with the ex.
We both have paintings and gifts from both our exes up in the house but this is a picture of them as a family on a wall, that has suddenly appeared, he has albums full of photos of their family life, as do I mine, again no issue, I know he has family pics on his phone, no issue with that either, we all have history, but this is OUR home. A new life a new story and I feel uncomfortable with this. I wouldn't put a pic up of me and my ex.

All very reasonable OP. Just explain how you feel this is crossing a line.

It's a bit strange but maybe he doesn't have any photos of him and the kids alone when they were young?