I left my partner last week due to his absolute laziness. I did a sort of rant/ what should I do post on here and the replies really gave me a kick up the arse. It made me realise that I thought the situation was bad but it was actually worse than I thought.
So off he went to his mums and all was fine. I didn't really have much more to do than normal and just got on with it to be honest. He didn't come at all at the weekend to see 1 year old. I had to call him multiple times on Sunday to see if he was going to be coming to see her. He said he would come at 18:30. I'll be honest I really was not happy about this. I explained to him, this was nighttime routine time, that he would excite her and she wouldn't sleep on time. But by this point it was already late and he was getting upset he wouldn't see her on father's day. This was not a hill I was interested on dying on, so I said fine, but it's to do the nighttime routine and you understand not to play any exciting games. So, he got his card and I got dinner for us both, that was it.
To no surprise baby did not want to sleep and it got to around 10. I went to get into bed and said he would rock her to sleep and put her down. I fell asleep, I didn't mean to, had my glasses still on even.
Well I wake at 3 in the morning, glance at baby, she's all good but then I look next to me and see he has got into bed next to me! He was deeply asleep and I just couldn't believe it. I didn't want to have an argument, he is very temperamental upon waking (another ADHD symptom he does nothing to manage). I left him sleeping and went back to sleep.
The next morning I get up with baby and I see that he had an overnight bag. So he planned this. He had even washed a shirt for work this morning and put it out to dry. I let him wake up, even made him a coffee so he would be easier to talk to. I said to him that he can't just decide to stay over and he said it got late so he decided to stay. I didn't believe him but just made it clear that I'm not okay with this. Then he starts being extra nice, offering to do nappy changes and take the bin out, does a little tidy up.
Anyways, I should mention that part of the reason I decided he had to leave was that part of his laziness entailed him leaving hazards to the baby out.
Well the baby can climb to the windowsill in the living room and she does this sometimes. When she copies her best friend (the cat). She can't fall to the floor because the sofa is there so I just sit on that sofa when she's up there and let her sit with the cat. But sometimes she'll climb up there and I won't notice for a minute, doing something in the kitchen maybe (they're joined by a door and I can look through). And he left the window open, but not open so that I would notice. I don't open those windows anyway and even have child locks on them. But open in a way that I mean its pulled completely over but the handle hasn't been pulled down to lock it shut. So essentially if you press very lightly it'll just open wide, there's nothing keeping it shut but when you look at it the window looks shut so you wouldn't really notice. And I know it's a mistake but ffs. It's just little things like this all the time! It makes me so pissed off. Imagine I didn't notice and she fell right out of the window and hurt herself. When I say this to him I'm told not to stress over imaginary situations. And when I told him about the window he just goes "oh right". I say is that it, it doesn't sound like you can see how this is a baby hazard and you don't sound too bothered. And he just says "It's a mistake. I don't need to be had a go at".
Then I started thinking, maybe I am being OTT, but I really don't think I am. I always have my mind made up and will be very sure and he reacts in a way that makes me doubt myself and if I am OTT? I know parents make mistakes and no one's perfect but come on not all the time.
Am I being unreasonable?