To ask how do you make big life decisions?

[afuturenursemaybe]

I'm currently trying to decide whether to make a career change from a work from home job with a good salary but that makes me feel miserable and lonely to pursuing a degree in paediatric nursing, which I know will be stressful but also incredibly rewarding.

How do you make big decisions like this in your life? Do you just take a leap and go for it or play it safe?

More context if anyone is interested:

I'm 29 and feel like marriage and children isn't on the cards for me. I'd love to be a mother but I've never even had a serious boyfriend, let alone a stable long-term relationship. I realise that working from home on my own isn't the path I want my life to go down. I want to make a difference and do something positive. If motherhood isn't on the cards for me, at least I can use the nurturing and caring aspects of my personality to help care for unwell patients.

However, I tend to make decisions like this quite impulsively and act first and think it through later. How can I make sure this is the right decision for me?

I have relevant work experience and will receive funding for the course, as well as enough of a maintenance loan to tide me over in terms of living costs. I also have experience in research and working in the pharmaceutical industry so could use that and a nursing degree to pivot to something else in the future if needed. I've worked 12 hour shifts in a hospital before, and feel like it suited me more than the traditional 9-5.

Do I just take a leap and go for it?

Try to ‘look forward’. In ten years time, would you regret a) not taking a chance on the degree. b) regret leaving your current job, and be happy still being in the same industry/workplace.

remeber, if you can change your life once, you can opt to change things again and again if it no longer suits you- even small changes can make a huge difference, and it’s up to you and no one else to make them.

That's a very specific career option you're thinking about, which makes it sound like something you really want and have investigated - so not an impulsive choice.

Can you find out more about the realities of it as a degree and job and work out if you'd really like it?

How about talking to a careers adviser? The national careers service offer a free service I think!

At some point though you just have to go for it in terms of big choices. You'll never know for sure 🤷‍♀️

Getting out into a new work environment will help you meet more people and may bring more relationships into your life. Sounds like it's a good move.

We like to mull things over for ages, be massively indecisive and then randomly make a spur of the moment decision with no real thought about consequences.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend it as a strategy, but its actually worked out quite well for us in general (I think gut feeling is actually good to rely on sometimes)

I love the advice from Oliver Burkeman in his final column.
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When stumped by a life choice, choose “enlargement” over happiness. I’m indebted to the Jungian therapist James Hollis for the insight that major personal decisions should be made not by asking, “Will this make me happy?”, but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?” We’re terrible at predicting what will make us happy: the question swiftly gets bogged down in our narrow preferences for security and control. But the enlargement question elicits a deeper, intuitive response. You tend to just know whether, say, leaving or remaining in a relationship or a job, though it might bring short-term comfort, would mean cheating yourself of growth. (Relatedly, don’t worry about burning bridges: irreversible decisions tend to be more satisfying, because now there’s only one direction to travel – forward into whatever choice you made.)
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This is great.

Also just accept that whatever choice you make you will regret an aspect at least of that choice at some point...

Regret is the inevitable choice of making a decision.

But once you've made a decision just go for it.

Are you too late for September enrolment? If so then I'd look at changing jobs before relaunching your career.