Yes another one of these threads!
We have two dc, 5 and 3. We've tried to make our relationship work but it won't so we've separated and do not live together.
For months now he has had a holiday booked to Cyprus with our dc and his family. Which initially I was on board with. But over the last 8 months or so he has treated our eldest boy differently. Horribly. Hes a very lively, mischievous boy. Once my ex was getting him dressed, dc was resisting and ex purposely scratched his neck. Another occasion, same scenario he put the arms of his pyjamas tight around his neck to stop him being naughty. This marked his neck. Another time not so long ago, again he can't stand the mischief (they have to do as he says or he gets angry then ignores them for hours), dc was annoying his little brother - as they do! Twice he picked older dc up by his arms and THREW him on the sofa. I told him that's not acceptable his response "he deserves more than that". Just this weekend older dc was being his crazy self and showed ex his bum. Ex kicked him and shouted "you don't do that." These are just some examples.
He completely ignores him, doesn't play with him, no positivity towards him what so ever. Older dc has picked up on this and is withdrawing from his father and doesn't want to go abroad. Ex is not nasty to younger dc in fact he dotes on him which makes older dc sad. He's said to me "why doesn't daddy love me, why is daddy only mean to me."
Now for a different kind of negligence. They have both been sunburnt, both been hurt as he's not capable of parenting. When younger dc was 2 he let him walk around with a glass which broke a made a very deep cut on dcs foot. There is still a deep indentation to this day. Young dc was in the pushchair NOT STRAPPED in, decided to run down a hill, dc fell out badly scraping his face. He drinks hot drinks around two lively boys, leaves them unattended in a bath. Despite me constantly watching and telling him. He's cruel, he's negligent, it's never ever his fault, ever. This word is bounded around lots these days but he is a true narcissist.
So aibu that I do not want my dc in his care, thousands of miles away for 10days? I don't trust him. He's a great Disney Dad but actual parenting, words fail me.
For those who may ask why I had children with this man. He has an older son in his 20s who he seemed amazing with. But after doing a bit of digging it turns out he abandoned him and 6 weeks old and the courts took away any rights to custody.
I am seeing a solicitor soon to get a letter drawn up to say he is not to take my children abroad. Am I doing the right thing? My head says yes, protect your children at all costs.
Sorry for the ramble!