To be genuinely afraid of my future and spending it alone and dying alone?

[TumbleweedRolling]

I’ve never been in a relationship, I haven’t totally given up, but I’m not exactly imagining a future with a partner anymore.

I’m an only child, parents are pretty okey now, but getting older and it shows and they have become more needy.

And wathing them has made me so scared of my own future, I’ll be totally on my own once they are gone. I’ll have no support, fucking terrifying!

I don’t have much money, I’m not in a place to go and have a child on my own.

For the past year I’ve had horrid nightmares about my life and what will happen to me.

Tbh, I’m not totally sure what I’m looking for, I guess I just had to talk to someone.

This is exactly the situation I think older people housing is good for. The chance to grow older surrounded by people of a similar age, with some social opportunities and some support. Independence but no burden for building maintenance etc.

Your 37 now so there is, genuinely, still lots of time yet.

Walking for the Cinnaman Trust is a great idea. Or walking dogs from a local dog rescue.

Regularly going to a local coffee shop is also a good plan. I know a couple of people who have their daily chats at theirs with regulars.

I agree that the 30s and early 40s is an odd age, because so many people seem caught up with their families. As you age, this won't always be the case and it might start to feel a bit more equal, as other people of your age group find their children move on and away and perhaps they don't have much contact.

But the biggest thing I find helps me (and I'm in a similar position) is that I Don't Know what will happen. It could be good, it could be bad. Heck, I could go to sleep the day my last loved one dies and have a silent heart attack in the night and never know anything about it.

What I have decided I CAN do, which will help:

1. Keep my physical health as long as possible
2. Try and build up a good pension so I have some financial security

Obviously, one or either of those might not be possible for you. But maybe there are things you could identify now that will help, no matter how life turns out for you.

I think this is very good advice. I am in the same situation too (other than I have a recent partner).

It may sound silly at this age (I am 36) but I have been checking out retirement villages online. I have found an absolutely lovely one in my area, but it does cost a lot of money. Therefore building financial security is something I am focussing on. If I can achieve this and move there in my older years, I am basically guaranteed care and companionship.

Also, please note that my partner is actually my very first relationship and I am only one year younger than you, so you could be lucky too and find someone you just 'click' with.