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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fathers day

20 replies

Couldntthinkofausername24 · 18/06/2023 19:02

Is it just me who finds fathers day so unbelievably stressful? My husband is a father, I have my dad and my husband has a dad and step dad. We are always made to feel guilty that we don't visit them all on fathers day. Yes they are fathers but so is my husband. Today I visited my dad first thing this morning so my husband could have a lie in. We normally spend the afternoon trapsing round everyone's house but today we did something my husband wanted to do and now we feel guilty and can feel certain family members are ticked off.

OP posts:
AuntieMarys · 18/06/2023 19:07

We never visited parents on Mothers/Fathers day. Never a big thing in our family. Made life simple!!!

Original poster
Couldntthinkofausername24 · 18/06/2023 19:10

@AuntieMarys gosh that does sound simple. Wish it was like that for us! It's the step dad of my husbands, he probably doesn't mind as much but his mother will be seething we haven't been

OP posts:
SpringBunnies · 18/06/2023 19:11

Not stressful here at all. I did a barbecue and then we went out to the icecream shop to have waffles and icecream. You can visit your dad and FIL on Saturday or the week before or afterwards? Or do something with your DH next week instead.

Sewingdufus · 18/06/2023 19:11

YANBU. How about next year you visit the older generation of Dads on the Saturday so that DH gets his day on the Sunday?

DappledThings · 18/06/2023 19:13

Nope. DH got cards the DC made in school and we made him breakfast in bed. My Dad and FIL got cards in the post. Would probably have had lunch with PIL but they are on holiday. My parents live hours away so wouldn't see them.

No biggie.

electriclight · 18/06/2023 19:13

We visit everyone the day before and do what dp wants to do on the day itself. It's not negotiable, we just say that we'll pop round on Saturday because we have our own plans on Sunday.

thecathasbeenfed · 18/06/2023 19:17

We do a visit on another day for my parents. They have always insisted that these days are for parents with younger kids and I'm v grateful for that.

Squirrelblanket · 18/06/2023 19:30

No. Sent him a card, did a Facebook post. Job done.

And I only did that out of obligation. I have a great time with my dad and treat him when I see him. I really resent all the mothers and fathers day bollocks.

Curtains70 · 18/06/2023 19:48

I apologise for being 'that person' because I know its annoying and not that simple. BUT... this is my second Father's Day without my Dad and honestly it's shit not having him here and seeing the fathers day cards but not buying him one.

There will come a time when they're not here anymore and it's just one day so I'd say just enjoy it as much as you can.

Tryingtohelp12 · 18/06/2023 19:57

I’m the same! Torn between so lucky to have them all here and appreciate them and stressed trying to fit everyone in on one day!

thought my dad didn’t really mind -he’s quite chill. Saw him on Friday and he was like I’m not playing golf on Sunday so come round whenever works for you 😂👍🏻 So clearly assumed I would come. Our kids still have naps so co-ordinating the day with so many visits just feels like your clock watching all day rather than enjoying it!

UnsolicitedOpinions · 18/06/2023 20:17

Curtains70 · 18/06/2023 19:48

I apologise for being 'that person' because I know its annoying and not that simple. BUT... this is my second Father's Day without my Dad and honestly it's shit not having him here and seeing the fathers day cards but not buying him one.

There will come a time when they're not here anymore and it's just one day so I'd say just enjoy it as much as you can.

Yes - this is my first Father’s Day without my Dad, who died last month. I saw a “World’s Best Dad”
card out of the corner of my eye in the supermarket the other day and thought, “Who the fuck is that for? He’s dead.”

Bromptotoo · 18/06/2023 20:28

Since when was Father's day even a thing in the UK?

3littlebearcubs · 18/06/2023 20:30

DH and I visited our Dads yesterday so today DH was free to enjoy the day with me and DC. Would a solution like that work for you next year OP?

@Curtains70 and @UnsolicitedOpinions I'm sorry for your loss💐

jojo2202 · 18/06/2023 20:33

I wish we had this. There's only my husband left, we have lost both of our dads.

NameChangeThreeThousand · 18/06/2023 20:36

UnsolicitedOpinions · 18/06/2023 20:17

Yes - this is my first Father’s Day without my Dad, who died last month. I saw a “World’s Best Dad”
card out of the corner of my eye in the supermarket the other day and thought, “Who the fuck is that for? He’s dead.”

Show quote history

💛💛💛

Jellykat · 18/06/2023 20:38

Slight hijack pf thread, but my dad died suddenly when i was 13..
So Flowers to all whose fathers are no longer here.

RhosynBach · 18/06/2023 20:41

Other people having lost their dads doesn’t make ops day less stressful though. I say this as someone who lost their dad a few years ago. I can still sympathise with ops situation. Op, I would see your dad and ohs dad on the Saturday so you can focus on your oh next year and have a lovely stress free day.

UnsolicitedOpinions · 18/06/2023 21:09

Jellykat · 18/06/2023 20:38

Slight hijack pf thread, but my dad died suddenly when i was 13..
So Flowers to all whose fathers are no longer here.

I’m really sorry to hear that- it’s awful. I’m lucky to have had mine as long as I did.

Raceyoutothebottom · 18/06/2023 22:33

Changed names for this. Yes, I can see your dilemma but it's really so very easily fixed. In terms of scale, my 15 yo son's father is currently in prison. Unusual I agree, but it does lend itself to contextualising what actually isn't a really big deal.

brunettemic · 18/06/2023 22:48

I can see your issue but just plan in advance a bit better. Father’s Day (and Mother’s day) is only as big deal as you make it. They didn’t announce the concept yesterday.

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