MIL offended that we didn’t use a free voucher

[Pinkfranny]

AIBU to think if someone gives you a free entry voucher (National Trust in this case) that they cut out of a newspaper, that you aren’t obliged to use it??

My MIL cut it out of her newspaper and asked me if we would like it as they wouldn’t use it. She had 2 and I said we might use one of them and I thanked her for thinking of us.

Since then she has asked me once a week when we are going. As it happens we’ve had a very busy couple of months and haven’t used it. We were at a BBQ today with her and she asked again as there are only 2 weekends left before it expires. We said we didn’t think we would use it and she then proceeded to ask exactly what we had on for the next 2 weekends which meant we couldn’t go 🤷‍♀️

She seems genuinely offended that we weren’t using it. I am baffled that it matters so much to her. Lesson learned, next time I won’t accept it unless I am 100% sure we’ll go!

I'd be a bit pissed off with you. Someone else could have used it.

Give it back to her if she's so bothered.

Bloody weird and controlling on her part.

Also I have to bring out the usual MN comment - why is MIL bothering you and not her own child!!!!

It does sound annoying but also why are you keeping it if you have no intention of using it?

If you do plan on going, just tell her. If you don't, return it so someone else can go.

YANBU.

It's a free voucher from a newspaper - it really doesn't matter if you use it or not!

Those vouchers were given to NT members (in NT magazine if I remember correctly), so it's not a random cut out from newspaper

Why didn't you give it back if you weren't intending using it. Someone else could have benefited from it.

Yeah me too tbh!

I think when people don't have much going on in their lives tiny things become big things. My mum is a bit like this.

You said you may use one. If your MIL knew someone who would definitely use it she could have said "ok well I'll give it to X because they definitely would".

On the other hand, my ILs have gotten offended when they've offered something like that and we've politely said thanks but we don't have the time/it's not our thing. But would be equally offended if we said yes but didn't use it. So we really can't win.

Because she has told people she gave you a voucher.? ... Not that it was free!

They aren’t NT members. It was cut out from The Mirror newspaper and they had 3 of them I total.

One she gave to my FIL work colleague and she threw the other one away as know one she knew wanted it.

YANBU and I don't think you would be even if she had paid for it.

If you give something to someone, it's up to them what they do with it. If a "gift," comes with a side of guilt trip and nagging, it's not really a gift.

I did say “might” because I genuinely wasn’t sure and similar to you got the feeling that she would be offended if I didn’t take at least 1 of the 3 she had

Oh god just give it back! Or I’d have lied and said yes, I went with a friend and it was lovely, thank you so much.

This. Overaction to minor things.

My DH suggested she could have it back but she said she didn’t have anyone else who would use it.

I don’t think until today he’d even remembered that we had it 😂

If she had bought it for you specifically as a gift then yes you would be unreasonable. Something free out of a newspaper? No way, she needs to give her head a wobble

That wouldn’t have worked she knows we would have taken our kids and they are old enough to tell her about it.

Over a free voucher you cut out of a newspaper? Get a life.

if you’re going to hound people to make sure they use the free voucher you cut from a newspaper then don’t give it to them. There are many reasons why they may end up not using it.

I was going to say the same. My mum has a lot of time to think about unimportant things like this. I got told off for not using a 'buy one pint, get another free' voucher that had been put through her door. It's for a pub I've never been to in a town I visit maybe once a year to see a friend for coffee, and I don't drink pints - in fact she'd be scandalised if she saw me drinking one.

It's not cut out of a newspaper @Cantstandbullshitanymore - it's a gift to NT members. Given the average cost of entry to an NT pace is around £10 per person, it's pretty valuable.

The OP has since clarified that her MIL has said that she didn't know anyone else who would use it but I wasn't aware of that when I posted.

There are families near me who would jump at the chance to go but can't afford it. Taking a voucher worth £40+ and not using it just isn't something I'd do. It's just a bit of a waste.

You don’t like MIL much do you?

Your MIL needs to get a life @Pinkfranny Whining about someone NOT USING a FREE voucher THEY DID NOT ASK FOR! 😆

Also, I am interested to know why she is not bugging HER SON about this. Why you?

Sounds like the MIL doesn't like the OP much either, seeing as how she is bullying and goading HER and not her own son. Why blame a MAN for anything when there's a WOMAN to blame eh?

OP has said it was from Mirror newspaper.

I've just checked and yes, they did print free NT vouchers.