My ds is just about to turn 18. He works part time and has just left college. He doesn't want to go to uni yet, as he wants to take a gap year. His plan is to travel and have experiences before going off to university.
When I suggested it's time to start looking for a full time job, or at least one that is more than 12 hours per week, he said that would totally ruin the point of taking a gap year stating he doesn't wish to spend it working. He is due some trust fund money, and I have paid for a holiday for him to give him a foot on the travelling ladder. Originally I was to pay for him and a friend to go, but I stated I'd rather give him the extra money to put towards his travel fund.
I have another son at home, and work full time myself. It's not just the two of us, so I can't be expected to keep throwing money at him to fund his gap year. He has worked since he was 16, so mostly kept himself in his interests such as reading, clothes etc for the past year. This I will praise him for. I obviously pay for all our days out etc. He has not saved anything in the time he has been working however, and with not wishing to work more, am unsure how he plans to travel and party as much as he seems to think he is going to.
He was an only child for a long time, and I always ensured he had unique experiences as a child. Always encouraged him to pursue interests etc, but also tried to show him that he only has these things because his mum works long hours, and works hard to provide for him. He appreciated this until he was around 14. I noticed a change in him from that age. He became a little above himself. I wouldn't say grabby, but definitely expecting.
He has wonderful manners with other people, something people always comment on, but with myself, his brother and my parents, he can sometimes look down upon us almost. I have reprimanded him repeatedly for this, but it never seems to stick.
I have recently approached the subject again regarding working more hours if he's not going straight to university, as he is soon to be an adult, but he just shrugged it off. I now need to approach the subject of him paying keep once he's 18, but I already know the look he will give me like I've crawled out of a drain, and will almost feel guilty for asking.
Am I unreasonable to expect him to pay his way at 18? I know my energy bills and food costs will be so much more with him mostly home all day. With the cost of living sky high, I am already dreading the thought of my next electricity bill with him home using multiple electronics for most of the day.