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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hungover Husband on Father’s Day

26 replies

ShamaBahama · 18/06/2023 12:57

As we know it is Father’s Day today. One of the main things my husband and I fall out about is that he feels we don’t get enough time on our own/spend enough time together. We have a 18 month old and 2.5 year old which means time alone is difficult. For his Father’s Day gift I’ve organised my mum to have the kids for a few hours this afternoon at her house so we could go out for lunch and few drinks on our own etc.

My husband knew this was the plan, but then went out last night with a friend and got very drunk. He didn’t get home until 02:30am and passed out on the sofa. He moved up to bed when I brought the kids down this morning and slept in until 10am. My mum has picked the kids up now and I’m ready to go out, but he’s still on the sofa and has now fallen asleep.

I feel really annoyed by this because of the effort I’ve put in to make sure we get some time on our own today, as he’s been asking to do for a while!! He’s obviously entitled to get drunk if he wants when he goes out, but I feel he could have kept it to just a drink or two last night knowing that I’d made plans for us today?

I don’t know if I’m being totally unreasonable to be pissed off? Should I wake him up? I don’t really want to now because he’s clearly not excited about us going out together, despite going on about it for months.

OP posts:
forrestgreen · 18/06/2023 12:58

Tbh I'd go out

My ex was like this, I should have paid heed much earlier

rubyslippers · 18/06/2023 12:58

Does he have form for this?
yes I’d wake him up to tell him I’m going out on my own and he can sleep his hangover off

Itsallsostressful · 18/06/2023 13:00

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all....he knew you had plans. Wake him up to tell him you are off out and do something nice for yourself 😊

Funkyslippers · 18/06/2023 13:04

Yes wake him up. He's had enough sleep. If I got to sleep until 10am after a session I'd be fine to go out (it's been a while though! 🤣)

Spendonsend · 18/06/2023 13:04

Id be upset if my dh was too hungover to go out on a rare 'date' which had taken careful planning.

I do wonder a bit if he has organised the fathers day he wanted which was the freedom to get wasted and have a hangover day.

phoenixrosehere · 18/06/2023 13:12

YANBU.

I’d go out and enjoy the time alone without children and if he wakes up and moans about it, remind him he knew you both had plans and he chose to get drunk and since he changed the plans, you assumed he wanted to spend the day in bed alone.

phoenixrosehere · 18/06/2023 13:13

phoenixrosehere · 18/06/2023 13:12

YANBU.

I’d go out and enjoy the time alone without children and if he wakes up and moans about it, remind him he knew you both had plans and he chose to get drunk and since he changed the plans, you assumed he wanted to spend the day in bed alone.

*alone for Father’s Day

ShirleyPhallus · 18/06/2023 13:14

I’d wake him up to check but tbh, some hours of proper free me time would be amazing with kids that young so if he doesn’t want to do anything then I’d go out on my own

Allmyghosts · 18/06/2023 13:14

Z

MaPaSpa · 18/06/2023 13:16

Maybe this is what he wants for Father’s Day? A kid free hangover morning and slow Sunday

Sprinkles211 · 18/06/2023 13:23

Go out do nice things alone he will get the picture and should feel pretty ashamed of himself tbh

jannier · 18/06/2023 13:26

Was it an I've organised for you day or shall I .....maybe this isn't the father's day he wanted.

jannier · 18/06/2023 13:27

I do think it's an odd day to be childless.

Outsideno9 · 18/06/2023 13:28

Why is father's day about you two having child free time anyway? Of all the days to do that

DisforDarkChocolate · 18/06/2023 13:29

I try and wake him up once and then go without him. Lunch on my own with a glass of wine and a book is a lovely treat.

MXVIT · 18/06/2023 13:29

I find it odd that you're father's day with time away from your children tbh !

DoughnutDreams · 18/06/2023 14:04

He clearly gets time on his own if he can go and get drunk. Are you sure the arguments aren't more about him resenting the responsibilities of being a parent? Perhaps it's time without children he wants, rather than time with you.
If this isn't unusual behaviour I'd be taking a good look at whether this is the life I wanted for me and the children.

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/06/2023 14:06

Aren’t fathers supposed to see their children on Father’s Day?

mrsm43s · 18/06/2023 14:58

Father's day is his time, not yours.

He wants to spend it lying in/ sleeping of a hangover, whatever, that's up to him.

I'd be really annoyed if my DH arranged a day out for me and him on my mother's day. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy and want to spend time alone with him - but that's not a mother's day treat! When my kids were littlies, it was a day that I had to myself (after homemade cards and kid-made breakfast in bed) whilst DH took the children out for the whole day to give me a rest. Now it's a day where I spend relaxing time with my now young adult children - out for lunch or for a cocktail or both, whilst DH picks up the slack at home, doing the housework, chores etc for the week ahead. Effectively, it's still a day "off" for me, whilst he shoulders more of the responsibility.

My DH has never been at the centre of my mother's days because it's not about him. Couple time alone, if you must do it on special days, is more fitting for anniversaries or Valentine's Day.

Bertiesmum3 · 07/08/2023 18:32

It’s Father’s Day, ffs!
why should you have time alone with your husband when you’ve got children??
surely the day should be spent with your children??

Original poster
ShamaBahama · 07/08/2023 19:40

Bit of a late response…..lols @Bertiesmum3

OP posts:
Beenhereforever1978 · 07/08/2023 19:42

Has he woken up yet OP? 😂

Thelonelygiraffe · 07/08/2023 19:45

So what did you do, op? Wake him up or go out yourself?

How are things now?

Original poster
ShamaBahama · 07/08/2023 19:45

Just about 🤣 @Beenhereforever1978 he’s a good egg really, I was just pissed off about not getting maximum wine time in I think!

OP posts:
Beenhereforever1978 · 07/08/2023 19:46

I hope you ended up having a splendid day!

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