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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think most people shouldn't own dogs

135 replies

JamSandle · 18/06/2023 10:52

I love dogs but I think a lot of owners:

  • infantalise their dogs and treat them like babies, not animals who have instincts and needs.

  • don't train them. Let their dogs bark, howl and growl all day long.

  • don't look them properly. Walk them, trim nails, clean them, look after teeth.

Good dog owners are amazing people. But so many people have dogs and don't put the effort into training them or understanding the animals needs.

I dont really think most people should be dog owners.

OP posts:
MXVIT · 18/06/2023 13:43

stbrandonsboat · 18/06/2023 13:41

Two hours is a bit different from a full day.

Youve missed my point

I was told to start leaving him longer!

MXVIT · 18/06/2023 13:46

Also - I will bother my arse to train my dog not to bark at all in my back garden the day my neighbours "train" their kids to do the same with screaming, ball booting, shouting.

Until then, fair game

Catspyjamas17 · 18/06/2023 13:50

I don't agree it's "most".

Most dog owners I meet seem perfectly pleasant and responsible to me.

PucketyPuckPuck · 18/06/2023 13:57

For anyone who doesn't see many examples of really poor dog ownership - join a couple of large dog training or enrichment fb groups with a few thousand members.

The questions frequently asked are shocking and heartbreaking.

'What can I leave with my 4 month old husky that will entertain him whilst I'm at work 8-6, Mon to Friday?'.

'We crate our Springer Spaniel when we work but I'm struggling to find one big enough to give her room to play. We're at work 8-6 but only for 3 days a week, any suggestions for a very large crate?'

'I can't walk my GSD during the day any more as I have a baby so she's walked by my eldest after school but he can only walk her for 20 minutes. What at home enrichment can we do instead?'

There are so so many of these 'caring, looking for suggestions' type posts that clearly highlight a very poorly looked after dog. BUT these posters love them, they're their baby and they spend £250 a month on them so they can't be a bad owner in their eyes.

ripplingwater · 18/06/2023 14:11

For anyone who doesn't see many examples of really poor dog ownership - join a couple of large dog training or enrichment fb groups with a few thousand members

YES exactly. I am a member of a FB group for my dog's breed and have honestly been shocked by some of the posts on there. They mean well and they arent horrible people but its abundantly clear they are not equipped to care for a dog and did no prior research. Literally every week there is a post saying "I'm going to have to re-home, I didnt realise having a puppy/dog would be this hard" etc. Its really quite heartbreaking and could have easily been avoided by proper research.

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/06/2023 14:12

You’re not wrong.

OneMoreChapter · 18/06/2023 14:13

It’s the dog owners who can’t stop their dogs jumping up at people when they are off the lead that wind me up. ‘Oh he’s just being friendly’ they say. I find it really stressful. Sometimes it leaves scratch marks or muddy paw prints on my clothes. I hate it! The owners always get so defensive when I point out that if they can’t control the dog they should keep them on the lead. I’ve even been told I shouldn’t go out if I don’t like it! Madness.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 18/06/2023 14:14

MXVIT · 18/06/2023 13:34

This forum baffles me.

I said in a different thread that my dog is never alone for longer than two hours and was promptly told I needed to build resilience in him, it wasn't healthy for either of us etc

But bad dog owners as defined above do the opposite to me

We can't win.

Never leaving a dog any longer than two hours is very different to regularly leaving a dog alone all day, though.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 18/06/2023 14:15

MXVIT · 18/06/2023 13:43

Youve missed my point

I was told to start leaving him longer!

...but that is the point.

A dog should be able to be left for longer than two hours, but that doesn't mean it should be regularly left alone all day long.

There's a happy medium.

WiddlinDiddlin · 18/06/2023 14:16

People do have some odd ideas about what 'spoiling' a dog actually means.

I get pretty annoyed at people who complain about 'treating dogs like humans', who then go on to describe 'treating a dog like a dog'... with some bizarre mash-up of ideas based on wolves, and abusive alpha-male arsehole bully behaviour.

Dogs have much in common with humans, that is why dogs and humans have worked together for such a long time.

We're social and gregarious. We should eat a pretty similar diet (protein, fat, small amount of carbs, though I recommend cooking yours), we experience many of the same emotions for the same reasons (though dogs on a less complex level). We learn in the same way.

Importantly - dogs are very comparable to baby humans in their needs and abilities, up to around 3 years when humans obviously keep on developing skills and dogs don't. Which is another key as to why dogs are dogs and not wolves, and why humans embraced them rather than drove them away (as they would wolves) in the evolutionary process.

So yeah, my 'floofer' has his fur shaved off and sometimes wears a jumper with a silly slogan on it or a hood on it.

Am I spoiling him?

Well, sure, if you think avoiding causing him discomfort with lengthy grooming of his floor length coat with excessive undercoat due to his age, is 'spoiling'. We shave it down all over his body and top of his legs, as he mats to the skin so easily because his coat is not 'natural' it is the result of generations of breeding for a floor length coat that is far in excess of what his original breed would have had.

The silly jumpers and hoodies - it is not that easy to buy, cheaply, sensible jumpers for indoor wear for a small breed. Your choices are 'stupid' and 'even more stupid' quite honestly.

Could he have a less ridiculous hair cut (and it is ridic, he looks like a muppet character) - yes, but that would take longer and be more faff for him, so we just do whats necessary.

Could I just call him by his name and not 'floofer' or by his breed - I could but then I don't call my DP by his full name often and refer to a lot of people by silly nicknames. This dog has been here almost 15 years, its normal he's gathered some stupid nicknames in that time!

None of that means I don't know that he is a dog, that I don't know what a dog is or how they think or behaviour or learn - I know that better than most!

Of course there are people who should not have a dog - I am sure I will talk to some of them today at work, people who haven't a clue the work involved or what a dog needs and wants.

Such is life, there are people with no clue what children need too, people who make life choices about partners with no real understanding what being in a long term relationship means.

Humans will inevitably, human - and that tends to mean fucking shit up.

cheeseisthebest · 18/06/2023 14:18

I think I'm a good dog owner, our dog is rarely left alone, he's walked every day, he sleeps in his bed at night upstairs with all of us. He gets lots of time and attention, played with. Almost always on lead. Would never let him jump up at people. He has a sensible diet. He does bark when someone comes to the door but I'm working on that.
He gets groomed, washed, nails cut and teeth cleaned. He has other dog friends.
I really try my best and feel very lucky to have him.

cheeseisthebest · 18/06/2023 14:19

And is right weight for his size and breed according to vet.

greenacrylicpaint · 18/06/2023 14:19

Catspyjamas17 · 18/06/2023 13:50

I don't agree it's "most".

Most dog owners I meet seem perfectly pleasant and responsible to me.

might not be 'most' but the one or a very few untrained/badly trained dogs are very noticable in a park or other public space.

Whichwhatnow · 18/06/2023 14:33

I think it can be difficult to tell though OP. My girl was perfectly well trained, well looked after since being a tiny pup. Then she got dementia and it all went downhill, she started to go after other dogs so I had her on a lead all the time (even though she still loved running about and chasing sticks). We'd take her to the local park at midnight just so she could run about.

I'm sure if you'd seen us you'd think I was being irresponsible but I was just trying to do the best by my dog

BunnyBettChetwynnd · 18/06/2023 14:37

There are a lot of dog owners who are utterly devoted to their pets and work hard at giving them the best life a dog can have.

There are also a lot of poor dog owners who didn't think how it would be before they got their dog and then continue to make a balls up of the whole process, often ruining the dog and making themselves, their dog and other people and dogs who come into contact with their dog unhappy in the process.

JamSandle · 18/06/2023 14:40

cheeseisthebest · 18/06/2023 14:18

I think I'm a good dog owner, our dog is rarely left alone, he's walked every day, he sleeps in his bed at night upstairs with all of us. He gets lots of time and attention, played with. Almost always on lead. Would never let him jump up at people. He has a sensible diet. He does bark when someone comes to the door but I'm working on that.
He gets groomed, washed, nails cut and teeth cleaned. He has other dog friends.
I really try my best and feel very lucky to have him.

You sound like a fantastic dog owner 🐕

OP posts:
vivainsomnia · 18/06/2023 14:41

Nothing you describe applies to all the dog owners I know. There is a massive barker now for dog health and wellbeing and it keeps getting bigger.

Vets don't have appointments because they are so busy. New dogs grooming businesses open all the time as well as dog boarding and walking. Pets at Home is one of the most growing business.

So no I don't agree at all.

BunnyBettChetwynnd · 18/06/2023 14:55

There is a massive barker now for dog health and wellbeing and it keeps getting bigger.

Brilliant and appropriate typo.

ThisIsACoolUserName · 18/06/2023 15:04

We've had dogs for 13 years.
Typically, when someone excitedly says they're getting a dog, I cringe. I think they will at best be pretty crap owners, and at worst be neglectful or get rid of it a year down the line.
My SIL and BIL got a dog about 8 months ago as a box ticking exercise. I've barely met him since as they offload him on their parents as often as they can. They shouldn't have bothered.
So yes, I agree OP.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 18/06/2023 15:08

vivainsomnia · 18/06/2023 14:41

Nothing you describe applies to all the dog owners I know. There is a massive barker now for dog health and wellbeing and it keeps getting bigger.

Vets don't have appointments because they are so busy. New dogs grooming businesses open all the time as well as dog boarding and walking. Pets at Home is one of the most growing business.

So no I don't agree at all.

To be fair, using a dog walker and using a groomer doesn't automatically make you a good owner. I say that as a dog walker who has cared for multiple dogs that live in less than ideal situations.

Dogs who fight due to their cramped living conditions, dogs who never got out for a walk unless I was there to do it, dogs shut in crates all day except for the hour I took them at lunchtime, dogs left for such long periods that they had no choice but to toilet on the floor, dogs who were never groomed and left with matted and unsanitary coats.

Paying for a dog walker doesn't really mean anything much.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 18/06/2023 15:10

Weveforgottenwhoweare · 18/06/2023 11:03

I think this most times I meet a dog owner. I say this as a dog owner.

Yes I agree. I know someone with a small terrier cross, and without doubt if that was a bull breed or a larger dog it would have long been siezed by the police under the DDA. And she won’t train it because… she “doesn’t want to tell him off”

SpareHeirOverThere · 18/06/2023 15:11

OP and many on here sound like my elderly father and his friends. I love their conversations.

Most people:

Can't control/ care for their dogs.

Ditto their children.

Are not sufficiently active in the community.

Do not have basic manners.

Are dangerous drivers.

Spend too much time on phones.

Do not feed themselves and their families proper, homecooked food.

The list goes on.

Most dog owners I see appear to be doing a good enough job. The dogs usually look well cared for.

I think the same of most parents.

I think most people like to judge rather too much. Those who live in glass houses and all that.

cheeseisthebest · 18/06/2023 15:11

Breaks my heart yo think of dogs being left in crates all day or not walked ir groomed.
When it was really hot my dog missed a couple of walks but had a good run around our garden and our field about 9pm at night when it was cooler.
He really is such a fab boy.

Leastsaidsoonestscrewed · 18/06/2023 15:17

Artycrafts · 18/06/2023 11:58

Another dog owner bashing thread. As long as I'm taking responsibility for my dog, I will proceed, as I like. 👍

And there's the attitude. IF you are really taking responsibility, this isnt aimed at you. But the knee jerk offense taking suggests maybe not.

GloomySkies · 18/06/2023 15:19

Is it a common thing to leave dogs in crates? I don't understand why this would be gone frequently. If you want a caged animal get a fucking hamster.

I would like a dog, really, but am aware of how much work they are and I don't want to do it.