To tell DS 16 how much PIP money he is entitled to?

[RebeccaMillett]

DS 16 has recently been awarded higher rate of PIP in the transition from DLA - it’s over £100 per week.

DH says we shouldn’t tell him the amount of money as he will waste the money on buying sweets and general rubbish. He’s probably right, DS doesn’t have a great sense of money and we are trying to teach him about budgeting.

He currently has £25 a week pocket money and is going to college in September when we’ll increase it to £50 per week.

we don’t spend his money on ourselves we either put it away for him or use it for things he needs such as clothing and shoes, but I feel a bit bad that we are keeping it from him?

I’m not sure if this is the right decision- it’s probably sensible but I just feel bad as I don’t like having secrets. DS is very intelligent despite his disability and I’m worried that of course one day he’ll find out he was entitled to that money and we didn’t tell him and he’ll resent it.

once he’s 18 we will of course give him the full amount. Is this the right decision?

That’s good to know thank you

Dd is autistic (diagnosed age 2, not as a teen) but McDonald's made sense to her, it's structured, ordered

Use the next two years to talk to him about money and help him to start making financial decisions.

Not sure what PSHE is, but he’s enrolled on ‘Independent Learning Skills’ course which presumably covers budgeting. We have always involved him in conversations, I think he understands but sometimes he then behaves in a way that suggests he doesn’t 😂

Start track8ng additional disability costs clothes etc as an adult over 18 he may need to account for these if seeking adult social care support
If it s sen school college ask about volunterring and work exp opportunities

OP I care for a child that has a learning disability and goes to college but can't handle his own money and he also loses things constantly. When he buys something and is given change he just leaves it about. We remind him he has a wallet but he doesn't use it. We got him a lanyard to go around his neck with his lunch card in. He has managed not to lose it. He has unlimited cinema for only £16 per month which is the cost of one film per month. He can take a Carer with him for free. He likes cinema and often goes 3 times in a month so good value. He goes bowling, karate, Crav Magar and plays cricket so I spend his money on activities and new kit, which is always losing his cricket gloves or just a single glove at £42 a pop. I save some for him if anything is left. I was hoping he could have driving lessons but honestly don't think he will manage that. He has Ubers and some money goes on that. My Foster son knows he has this money and if he needs a new cricket bat £180 or new karate gee there is money available for him to have it. Some money is being saved in case he can have laser eye treatment as he gets older as he has very poor vision, +8 and +6. Some money is spent on very expensive glasses that are lighter for him and prescription sun glasses too. I don't think there is any need to keep it a secret from him. I discuss with Foster son if he thinks he needs anything each month.

My son is 12 and has learning difficulties. We put it in a separate bank account so he can access it if he needs it ( he doesn't ) ..
can you do this ?

My adult son has done a couple of jobs that involved more manual labour than academic input, which he was OK with.

One he really enjoyed but was only ever going to be a short term basis, about 6 months. The other lasted about a week. He didn't gel with the boss, and the boss didn't like to have to explain things more than once and was expecting a degree of common sense that DS just doesn't have.

When he was doing the first one, he had a good work ethic and was always up and ready to go, and seemed keen (a bit too keen sometimes), so I think that finding the right job with the right employer, even if it takes a bit longer to find, is better than just taking the first one that comes along and keep failing.
He has a history of anxiety and self harm, so I don't want to trigger that again.

Currently he isn't working, but does want to. He has had a couple of interviews. But I am not pushing it. I am enjoying having him around.

Hi OP, my son is 20 now and also gets PIP at the enhanced rate plus UC (LCWRA and LCW). All in all it is around £900 a month

I am his appointee and I have logs of panic about it all. In the end I had a long chat with a social worker who was great.

DS gets £200 in pocket money a month. This is spent immediately on gaming plus I will buy extra bits during the month as well. We also spend £350 a month on a specialist provision one day a week.

The rest goes in the pot because keeping a roof over his head is important. All my salary is taken up with the bills. So it contributes to this and food. Plus I try to add money to a savings plan he has each month.

It's more than used for his benefit.

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Where I live, there's a network of colleges that offer courses for learners of all abilities - and the larger agricultural colleges would also be very familiar with supporting disabled students living away from home if his academic ability means he could be able to access higher education.

My sister is autistic, she didn’t disclose it in the first job she had and they were fucking awful to her, I suspect they probably worked out she was autistic but because she didn’t disclose it, she had no protection. She’s in a job now where her managers and colleagues know that she is autistic and everyone looks out for her. Definitely encourage him to tell his future employer!

You're not doing anything wrong, and presumably you manage his money for a reason.
However, if he's bright, and may query it later, I'd be scrupulous with record keeping. Maybe keep a little budget book where every penny of his £100 is documented and receipts kept?

Yanbu. Going through the same thing and I am his appointee. Any money he has access to goes on online games. He cannot money manage, which is one section of the PIP form and a reason us parents are appointees for our disabled 16 year olds in the first place. You manage it and use it for the extra costs involved in day to day life due to his disability.

That's great you can afford to do that. That is not what it's for though.

I think it's always best to be upfront about these things. My DS is 24 and gets PIP at enhanced rate for mobility and daily living as he's autistic, so £172 a week (he gets UC on top as he has LCWRA). I'm his appointee and it's paid into an account I manage, and transfer £30 a fortnight spending money for him which goes on snacks and games. He knows how much he receives but trusts me to spend it sensibly on his needs. He lives at home and we buy all his food, clothes, pay bills and for activities and disability aids. Any left over money goes into a savings account in my name but earmarked for his bigger expenses (so it won't reduce his benefits). When he's given larger sums of money it's gone in a week (on gaming, snacks, takeaways) so he knows he can't manage it himself.

My son gets pip and I’ve saved over 10k for him since he turned 16. He knows he gets money and I give him an allowance from it but no way is he being allowed to just spend it and no I’ve not told him how much is accrued. As far as I’m concerned it’s to help him out in the future when perhaps he can’t get a job or he needs to use it for an emergency or deposit on a place. I don’t claim benefits so it stays in my account sectioned off for him. As far as I’m concerned you’re doing the right thing.

That’s great you’ve saved loads for him. My son also has a trust fund which I started from birth. He knows about this - it’s about £12k - I’ve told him it’s for bigger, important things like buying his first car or putting towards a deposit for a home. Unfortunately he has no inclination or interest in driving (although I hope this will change) and can’t imagine him living independently- again this will probably change as he gets older. Although this is legally his money at 18, I’ll be a lot more comfortable managing it for him, hopefully he will understand this and we’ll be able to reach a sensible compromise on how he receives it and what he’ll spend it on (eventually)!

That sounds sensible- same here. If I gave him say £100 it would be gone on gaming and take away food probably within 24 hours!

Over 6k in savings needs to be declared to the DWP. It will impact eligibility but only slightly. If not in his name you might be ok.