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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect DP to help pay?

10 replies

Sunnyjen · 18/06/2023 08:34

DP has been offered a work trip (he’s a chef) abroad for 1 week all expenses paid (flight and all inclusive hotel) next month. It’s to a place he and I have been before and we both had a great time.

On his work trip he is required to work for 3 of the days and the rest he will be at leisure, so the hotel has allowed him to bring a plus 1 free of charge — I just have to pay my own flight.

However, the flight is circa £1,100 and I cannot justify the expense which he knows but still, he really wants me to come with him. I haven’t mentioned it to DP yet but can’t help but think he ought to offer to split flight cost if he wants me to come, as he is paying £0 and I’d be spending £1,100. If we split it, we could both write it off as a pretty good deal for us both.

AIBU to think he should at least offer this? He is in a stable financial position.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 18/06/2023 08:36

Of course, if you are a couple and he wants you to go, then why should you spend over £1000?

CurlewKate · 18/06/2023 09:25

Of course he should!

NicholJO · 05/07/2023 22:33

No way its for his job you want to go pay yourself it the way the cookie crumbles

TomatoSandwiches · 05/07/2023 22:38

If he wants you to go then he should pay something towards it, especially if he has a free flight.

Dotcheck · 05/07/2023 22:40

How long have you guys been together? Do you live together?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/07/2023 22:41

How do you share finances normally?

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 05/07/2023 22:41

If he wants you to come then yes, I think it's only fair that you split the costs.

allmyliesaretrue · 05/07/2023 22:42

If he wants you to go he should help pay, unless he’s a total tight arse, and who wants one of those?

Starlightstarbright2 · 05/07/2023 22:44

Lots of variable . How long have you been together ? Are you living together ?

what was his response to can’t afford it ? Tbh £1,000 still seems a lot for 4 days together so assuming it is long distance

LolaSmiles · 05/07/2023 23:04

To decide if you're unreasonable or not it would depend on your circumstances.
If you live together and blend finances then he should contribute in my opinion and YANBU.

If you don't live together, don't have shared finances and you think he should stump up for your holiday costs because he's ok financially then I'd say YA(probably)BU.

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