AIBU being annoyed husband is out with his friend?

[0hSoT1r3d]

Ok so I’m currently at my mums house with my 2 year old and 4 day old as there’s construction work happening at our house. Obviously can’t have 2 small kids around all that dust.
Theres a 3 day car event on in our area and my husband wanted to go to the first day.
I had no problem with that since we’re staying at my mums, I had some help with the kids.
However he decided last minute he’s going to the second day with his friend which has left me alone for the day with the two kids (my mum had to work) while also trying to recover from a rough birthing experience.

AIBU for being annoyed at my husband for basically acting like he doesn’t have kids and heading off for 2 days leaving me to try and manage everything?

Oh insult to injury, he just text me pictures of him and his friend having lunch in our house with food I’d prepped and frozen before giving birth so now I’m gonna have to cook when we get home.

sorry for the rant. I’m just exhausted, in pain and feeling very taken for granted

Have you actually asked him to help? Does he know your Mum is at work?

YANBU OP you need to tell him how his behaviour is making you feel because apparently he can't just look at the situation and see that a woman will need her husband when she's 4 days postpartum despite the fact it's bloody obvious.

She has a 4 day old and construction happening at home, she shouldn't have to fucking ask. I'd be very pissed off if I were you OP, I'd expect my DH to be supporting me days after birth, especially with an older child who'll be unsettled by all the change. He's already had one day of fun, which is plenty (or more) than needed in your current circumstances

Have you told him? You shouldn't have to but you definitely need to in this situation. The food would really piss me off. I would be asking him to cover however many meals that took from the family!

And tell him he needs to come home in time to do dinner, don't do it yourself!

WTAF

You've just given birth FFS.

He should be doing everything so you can rest and bond.

AND I MEAN EVERYTHING

Ordinarily wouldn’t be a problem for me, but it’s not on at all with a 4 day old baby combined with the 2 year old.

She gave birth four days ago!

She shouldn't have to bloody ask.

What????? She shouldn't have to ASK him anything and she most certainly shouldn't be asking him to HELP!!! She should be telling him to bloody PARENT!!!!!

Thanks for the support everyone.
It’s genuinely made me feel a lot better. There’s definitely going to be words when he gets home.
Not that I’m trying to justify anything for him but I should say this is extremely out of character for him which is probably why it’s annoyed me as much as it has 😅

Yabu for having kids with someone like this

YANBU

I just have to say, reading threads like this, I just don’t understand how / men should thank their lucky stars that, women keep loving these men.

Like what the actual fuck!
I couldn’t live ONE DAY the way so many women do.

And none of that rant is disparaging op / women, to be clear.

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts

NotEverORNever
Have you actually asked him to help? Does he know your Mum is at work?

She gave birth four days ago!

She shouldn't have to bloody ask

If he thought the OPs Mum was there then he wouldn't have been unreasonable to assume he wasn't needed. I tend to be very self sufficient and like to do things myself so when I need to ask for help. My husband knows that is how I work so he'll assume I'm ok unless I tell him otherwise.

Regardless of that it's silly of the OP to be sitting at home being cross with her husband and not telling him.

He's going to have to do some cooking

He has a four day old baby. Of course he is needed - especially as he'd already had a full day out with his mate the day before.

He's taking the piss. He's the parent - not OP's mother.

Why of course he’s needed? She’s staying with her mum - who’ll be a sight more use to her than him. If he doesn’t know her mum’s at work he has every reason to think everything’s fine. The antipathy to men on MN is really shocking

Wtf, are you a man?! Of course a man shouldn't be fucking off for two days when his wife has just had a baby. Jesus Christ.

Because he's a parent to a four day old baby.

Fucks sake, I despair of this site sometimes.

Me too. What’s he going to do that her mum won’t do a thousand times better?

Why the assumption that her mum would be more help?

He has a 4 day old baby, my DH would be staying near to just be around care for and get to know his new family, let alone help.

Instead this guy has pissed off on day 2/3 for new adventures.

Isn't he missing them?

Oh, I don't know - be a parent? Support his wife with his two small children instead of fucking off and leaving it to her MIL?

You’ve just said that op’s mum will be more use than the her child’s actual father and you’re accusing others of antipathy to men?

He is taking the piss, YANBU, you shouldn't have to ask and make sure he replaces the food you made.
Disgusting attitude, absolutely disgraceful, if you were my daughter I'd read him the riot act.

What a selfish bastard. I thought my ex was bad but your man child takes the biscuit.

It's such a common theme where the men just go off and do their own thing eight after their baby has been born. Is it possible he is just having a bit of a freak out? In the first two weeks after having my baby girl my partner did 100% of the cleaning and cooking as I was completely exhausted physically and mentally having got back home only 8 hours after giving birth so it hit me like a ton of bricks in the days after the birth not to mention I only slept 4 hours in 3 days. So he was amazing in taking care of the house but he still went out for hours at a time surfing! On a couple of occasions I didn't mind as I was breastfeeding and he always made sure I'd had food and something to drink before he left but I did feel quite dissapointed that he had chosen to go out (4/5 hours at a time) to have some chill time and yet I got no break like that and was in pain from a episiotomy. He later admitted he had been really struggling with the shock of such a huge change and witnessing me giving birth.