Primary school proms

[weneedsomeluck]

I think the whole idea of a primary school prom is a bit much. However, I don't want my DD to be socially excluded so I've gone with it.
I offered to help but the self proclaimed prom committee said I was not needed. Fair enough, I left an open offer to help in anyway.
We got my dd a dress and some shoes. She had her hair done nicely.
A whole heap of other 11 year olds arrived in a limo. Hair, makeup, nails done wearing dresses that made them look a lot older.
They were posing with bottles of Prosecco as if drinking it from the bottle. They had glasses of non alcoholic wine and were getting photos of them drinking it. No actual alcohol was consumed but I thought it was bad taste.
I said that I didn't want my DD involved in the photos. I was called a prude and a bore. My DD was embarrassed that I wouldn't let her join in but I stood my ground. Was I being unreasonable? Why are some people so determined to make their children mini adults?

It's one night and they were having fun. It's not going to scar them for life. Every kid likes to act grown up every now and then. They also like to act like toddlers when they think no one is looking.

I get the limo, nails, hair, makeup etc. Although it seems very OTT (which it is) I do get it as it means a lot for the girls. At that age they want to feel and look very 'grown up' and its probably the biggest night of their lives so far. But the Prosecco bottles and pretend wine does seem very unnecessary. There's no need for them to pretend to be drinking alcohol or even posing with it for photo's. I can definitely understand why you didn't let your DD join in with this but I can also understand your DD's embarrassment at not being allowed to join in. At that age your friends are everything to you and she probably felt very 'different' as she wasn't allowed to do what her friends were doing. Even though it's bad taste, I would have let DD do it for the photo's which she will cherish, at the end of the day no actual alcohol was consumed.

It's one night of the kids messing about and acting grown up before they move onto the next phase of their lives (where they will be back to being the youngest in the school again).

Not really the big deal you're making it out to be.

I think you were being a bit precious. Sounds like you ruined your dds night too. Poor kid just wanted to have fun with her friends.

This is not a thing at ANY of the primary schools round here. The P7 leavers (who are 11-12) get a party usually at Christmas in school, then sometime a BBQ or similar arranged by the parents.

Prom is for the 17-18 year olds who are finishing S6 and secondary school.

YABU it’s just kids having some fun before things get a lot more serious for them at high school.

Not a thing at our junior school thank God. They have a lovely leaver's barbecue and as it's a mufti day are in shorts and t-shirts like normal 11 year olds on a summer evening.

My son is 16 now and just left high scool.,he's not attending his prom as he has no.interest in it
when he left primary school.they had a meal.a a local restaurant which school.paid for

I would have much rather a leavers barbecue or something similar. Leave the prom until they are finishing secondary school.
Dd really didn't want makeup done and getting her an outfit was a struggle. She would have rather been in shorts and a T-shirt but did eventually find something to wear. I knew if she had turned up in shorts and T-shirt she would have really stood out and looked awkward.
I just really didn't want her in those photos pretending to down a bottle of Prosecco. She was allowed in other photos, just not the ones with faking alcohol.
Happy to accept I am an old fart and accept everyone parents differently.

Totally agree with you OP. I'm a mum of teen dc and agree it's too much. I'm also a teacher and I am grateful my school doesn't do this

That is absolutely disgusting. Why promote underage drinking like that? Do people not want better for their kids?!

Be proud to be an old fart. Teach your daughter its ok to stand up for your beliefs

It’s along the lines of those pamper parties for children, I think.

I find it unnecessary and somewhat distasteful, but accept others feel differently. A summer BBQ or similar is a better option, as far as I’m concerned. Plenty of time for proms later on.

I'm fine with the idea of prom, not the pretending to drink alcohol part. I drink occasionally but really hate how alcohol is pushed as the done thing at social events, and at 11yo I find it completely inappropriate to do that in a school setting, pretend or otherwise.

However, I don't mind parents making the choice at home to let kids taste alcohol underage. I feel its a much less pressured and a safe environmental to do so and discuss it.

Maybe I'm an old fart too!

YANBU ... agree with OP... awful message to 11 year olds ... wear full make up and grown up dress to be fun and popular .and a clear signalling of the in crowd in their limo .. I remember how sad and isolated DD felt at her event ... a few parents had to come together to hastily booK a limo for the ' left out' ones.

These were big for primary leavers a few years ago snd thankfully many seem to have been replaced by less competitive events ... trips out, bbq, shows ...

Another old fart here, l woukd hate this too.
Leavers bbq with ice cream van and bouncy castle here!

They're 11 they have a long road to adulthood ahead. Don't rush them

Ditto old fart here. Sounds ott to me and I suspect an awful lot of kids go along with it to fit in.

Also probably gives 'in' parents a chance to show off too.

BBQ sounds much more fun and inclusive.

dd is 11 and there’s a leavers disco but nothing like this. She’d hate the prom dress thing and I wouldn’t want to join in the whole limo and Prosecco thing. So ott for primary school kids!