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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel sad that they don't want to meet up?

8 replies

yellowsmileyface · 17/06/2023 09:09

I’m a mature student and last year I completed an access course. I’ve ended up going to uni quite far away from where I’m from whilst most of my cohort elected to stay locally.

Throughout the past year they’ve arranged a number of meetups via our whatsapp group, none of which I have been able to attend as they’ve always been during term times. I’ve been sad that I’ve had to miss them but thought for sure over summer I’d get the chance to attend one.

They’ve arranged two in the past month, which I still haven’t been able to attend as I’ve only recently come back home for the summer. When I mentioned that I don’t return until late June, and perhaps we could arrange something else for July, someone else responded saying that he’s away for basically all of July so maybe we could do something late June instead. This coming Friday was suggested, and a few people said that might work for them.

I messaged in the whatsapp group yesterday for a confirmation about this Friday. It’s been seen by those people, but no one’s responded, not even to let me know that doesn’t work for them.

AIBU to think they’re just not that bothered about meeting up with me? It’s a shame because this whole past year I’ve been looking forward to seeing them again and having a big catch up about our uni experiences, and I guess essentially, they’ve all been having that catch up with each other during all these other meetups. I understand this is a consequence of my choosing to go to uni elsewhere, but I can’t help but feel sad and disappointed that I’m missing out. I don’t know whether to keep trying to arrange something or just let it go.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 17/06/2023 09:12

It’s only one meeting out of all of them over a year that you’ve tried to attend, it’s a bit soon to be so disheartened. Just wait and see how the summer goes.

Whataretheodds · 17/06/2023 09:15

This coming Friday was suggested, and a few people said that might work for them.

How long ago was this bit of the conversation?

Hiphopopotamus · 17/06/2023 09:16

It’s hard but I think essentially they’ve had almost a year of meeting up and catching up with each other in person and they may feel that you’ve drifted from the group a bit. Obviously unavoidable on your part and just one of those things but it may explain the lacklustre response

yellowsmileyface · 17/06/2023 09:27

@TeaKitten you're right, summer's only just started. I guess I just feel disappointed as I've been looking forward to a meetup all year.

@Whataretheodds This was about 2 weeks ago.

@Hiphopopotamus Yeah exactly, they've all had all these other chances to bond from which I've been absent. It was my choice to go to uni miles away but the sense of FOMO is strong!

OP posts:
SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 17/06/2023 09:48

You might do better to suggest meeting up with a couple of them directly?

yellowsmileyface · 17/06/2023 10:22

@SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress in hindsight that might have been a better thing to do yesterday rather than send the group message, however now that that message is going ignored I'd feel a bit like I'm pestering to reach out to people individually.

OP posts:
Equalitea · 17/06/2023 11:56

I barely have time to see my best friends over the summer holidays let alone someone I’ve not seen for a year.
I would assume that they all have other commitments, kids off school etc over the summer.

yellowsmileyface · 17/06/2023 12:54

@Equalitea That is true. I don't know what's going on in their lives.

At the same time most of them have had both the time and the enthusiasm to meet up quite a few times in the past year, so it does seem strange to me that there's suddenly no interest.

I know that most of them don't have kids.

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