To have cried in front of a service user?

[passioninthisworld]

Today I ended my six month placement in social work. It has been an absolute joy and I have been able to engage service users that haven't engaged for years.

One in particular I had from start to finish. I bought her a well being pack and gave to her today, she broke down and cried and said I've done more for her over six months than anyone else has in her full life. I kept it together. Took her to her appointment and things were normal.

However, I dropped her home and helped her in with shopping, at which point she turned around and said, 'honestly, thank you for everything that you've done for me' and started crying.

At this point I gave her a hug and I too started crying. I told her I think she is amazing and so strong and that I would never forget her and walked back to my cat a blubbering mess.

I am SO embarrassed. I feel I breached professional boundaries and also how am I meant to close people throughout my career if I get so attached?

WIBU?

I cant imagine you will be fired for this

What a wonderful person you are. Don't be embarrassed, you've done a great job and made a difference to the client.

A few tears is fine, it's a good thing. If you broke down and the person was left feeling worried about you, or emotionally responsible for you, that would be different.

Imagine if you were emotional, and with someone with a power imbalance and they were just a passive robot. How do you think you'd feel?

Social work requires human connection. That includes giving a little bit away at times, the key - and what you'll develop with experience - is how much, and that will vary depending on who you're interacting with.

I would imagine as you graduate to a full case load you will become less attached. You will need to develop a way to set a boundary between home and work. Or you will burn out

It’s fine! You are a person with emotions.

You’ll develop ways to further manage boundaries over the next couple of years.

sounds like you’re great at your job

As your client I would have felt so good, because you related to me as a person and not just another 'case'.
I would have felt I'd made a connection with someone who actually understood me and I think that makes a huge difference.
If she said you've done ' more for her over six months than anyone else has in her full life ' you have done something so beautiful, so don't feel you've done something wrong - :)

You'll develop your own boundaries as you go along - but be proud you've made someone feel so good

Your poor cat must've been terrified so YABU for that

You're only human OP, don't worry about it

I work a similar job with vulnerable people and I’ve had to swallow tears before and I’m not a crier usually!
ive also got upset reading people’s ‘testimonials’ to us!

it’s okay to be emotional about the good in the world!

WonderfulUsername · Today 23:07
Your poor cat must've been terrified so YABU for that

there was a cat?? eeek! must pay more attention

At this point I gave her a hug and I too started crying. I told her I think she is amazing and so strong and that I would never forget her and walked back to my cat a blubbering mess.

😊🤣

You’re human and and obviously an empath, of course you’re going to feel things too!

But please take care of yourself. I work in a similar field and you just can’t sustain yourself taking on everybody else’s emotions all the time. Talk to whoever you need to talk to and make sure your owns emotional needs are met too

This. Bonding with another person - whatever the circumstances- is one of life’s great gifts. You’re a good human.

I am a care assistant in the community, I cry all the time!
im quite hard really but there are somethings that I can’t let go over my head.
like my favourite service user dying. I was a blubbering mess for hours after our final chat and goodbye.
another one went into a home but it was a distance away so I couldnt visit, my last job I left I cried with my service users.
your human. It shows you care. And sometimes it’s emotional when someone tells you how much they have helped.

Different situation but one of ds’s speech therapists once cried at the awfulness of our/his situation. At the time if I’m honest it was a bit much for me to carry, but she was a rare caring human contact at a very lonely scary time and in hindsight now I’m not in it I’m surprised she was the only one. Keep caring, and trying.

I think that is a lovely foundation to start your social work career on.

Was it voluntary sector or a statutory placement?

As a prac ed I always ask students to finish with clients a week before placements end so we have time to talk 'endings' through.

it sounds like you have done a fabulous job with her and really helped, but ... what happens for her now? Who picks up where you left off? What strategies did you develop with her for her to manage things better in the future?

I always ask students to think about the after when they write up their involvement as as a CAP, and reflect on how their student status may have changed the nature of the relationship

Sometimes I get a bit tearful when my clients speak through their trauma in our psychotherapy sessions. I try hard not to because I don't want to make it about me, it is about them and I don't want them to worry about my feelings. I brought this up with the course leads when I was training and they said it was fine if it wasn't regular. Having someone validate that what you went through was awful and that you care is very powerful.