Hey all, I will try keep this short. Married 11 years, husband has had some hiccups in relation to boundaries with other women, one with an ex girlfriend, and one with a coworker several years ago.
About a year and a half ago he headed a pilot training programme for work. During the preparation for the pilot he had to link with a woman whom was previously in the same role as him in another part of the country, but recently got a different position. They had known each other for over 15 years, but prior to the pilot programme, he hadn't mentioned her much at all, if ever really.
So, long and the short, there was a case of mentionitis, like seriously all the time, she just came up in conversation regularly, how good she was at her job etc. Didn't really pay all that much heed to be honest. But one day, we were both working from home, his work phone rang and he couldn't get out of the room quick enough. It was her calling, so i hung about because the way they spoke to each other was so comfortable. for want of a better word. The way he answered, Hola, I was like what the fuck. Just thought it odd. So in the conversation, there was zero work talk, literally nothing about work, just chatting and catching up. I'm not proud but I hung over his shoulder later that day when he was entering the pin on his work phone. Later that day I checked his call log with her, literally spoke most days, for at least 20 minutes each time, multiple calls some days. Now bare in mind that at this point they had handed over the pilot programme and thus didn't have reason to be chatting so much.
I checked his WhatsApp, a mixture of work and just chatting. Nothing worrying really, but just so comfortable. But I noticed a message from the previous week from her, 'lunch at 1?'.the day I'm question husband was in the company head office and told me he had lunch with a male colleague, so he lied about that. Why lie if nothing to hide? Really irked me, so I brought her up in conversation that evening and asked had he seen her in head office that day, oh ya I did in passing
Failed to mention lunch. So I just said your lieing to me, called his bluff, eventually said ya he lied that they had lunch together but he didn't want to tell me due to past over stepping boundaries with a different coworker. I flipped inside to be honest but just asked him to not lie to me about any friendships he has.
Kept an eye on their call log, continued to talk almost every day, despite the fact that it was totally unnecessary due to their different roles in the company. He even rushed me off the phone saying it was a male coworker ringing, it was her. Another day he had a big meeting with some head people, to be fair he rang me straight after, but then rang her straight after hanging up with me. I was florn by the fact that he must have had her on his mind so much.
Then suddenly the friendship ended, call log showed a few weeks of no contact. So brought her up in a round about way, he said no we don't talk all that much, I pushed asked why, he said she got snappy one day about something. Doesn't add up though, how can you go from having contact every day to nada. It just makes me feel so uncomfortable, like it doesn't add up. Or am I over thinking?? I may also add she is also married with children, a very attractive woman, his type actually down to a t.
I'm thinking was it an emotional affair? Or am I reading too much into it? As I say no overly worrying messages between them, so you could say would pass as friendly banter.
Am I being crazy? It's actually doing my head in here. Help!!