Cat killed by car last night

[pizzalavita]

We got the call from the vet hospital to say he was hit by a car and didn't make it. The driver that hit him didn't stop, but seemingly others did and tried to help him, one kindly too him to the vets. He was such a big part of our lives DD2 loved him greatly.
My DH has a corporate golf day booked for today, he wouldn't cancel it and I begged him. I can't stop crying and don't want to be alone, every time I close my eyes I see a movie almost replaying on repeat of him. It's like I see him all over the house and remember his white paws, anyway, husband has gone to golf. I feel utterly heartbroken, I don't know how to move on from losing our cat so tragically, and husband choice to play golf regardless.

Let’s park your husband for now - that’s an issue to deal with separately.

You’re in shock. Do you have a good friend you can be with this morning? Family member? Be kind to yourself. Make yourself your favourite drink - cuppa, glass of fizzy water, whatever and sit in garden if you have one and let those tears come.

The shock and even grief will pass but honour your body’s need to process this at its own pace. Sending lots of love ❤️

Not much to say apart from that is incredibly sad, I had a similar thing happen to me as a child and was utterly heartbroken. Hug to you and your dc

I am so sorry for your loss.

The hallucinations of Dcat on the furniture etc are your brain creating the image that it expects to see and are a normal symptom of grief. Getting out of the house will give you a break from those.

Protracted crying will cause headaches. Don't shy away from taking paracetamol and ibuprofen at the recommended doses to help with that.

"D"H's behaviour is a problem for later. Is there someone you can stay with if you can't face the idea of having to be around him when he gets home?

So sorry for your loss. You are in shock - is there a friend or family member you can spend the day with or chat to on the phone?

I'm so sorry. We went through the same thing a few weeks back.
We were all heartbroken but are already feeling a little better about the situation.

Thank you to all that have replied. I suppose DH is a separate issue, I know life still goes on but just thought he would have been here with us.

I will take the advice and get out of the house x

So sorry for your loss, it's incredibly heartbreaking. No useful suggestions except you need to allow yourself to grieve for him - it takes as long as it takes.

I'm sorry about your loss but I do think you are unreasonable to object to your husband reacting in a way that suits him, albeit differently to you. He's probably aware that people are depending on him to be there and doesn't want to add stressing about that to his sorrow.

@amicissimma I agree with your post entirely.

I'm terribly sorry about your poor cat. Ours died last winter and the heartbreak and shock was absolutely horrid. Please look after yourself.

In an ideal world yes, your husband should have stayed home however the fact it is a corporate golf day changes it slightly - he will be grieving too, and perhaps didn't want the added stress of people down - although he has let you down in the process, I agree.

I agree. I'm so sorry OP, pets really do become one of the family and I understand your grief, but at the same time life goes on. Cancelling on a corporate event like that because a cat died probably wouldn't be viewed very well by colleagues, and if it's an event that could benefit his career I understand going. To be honest, even if it's just something he fancied doing I understand going. Take care of yourself and your kids, but you'll be okay.

I’m so sorry about the loss of your darling cat. They are such a big part of our families and it is a real, brutal loss when you lose them, and in such tragic circumstances.
Please look after yourself and try to remember all the funny things your darling cat did. That’s what got us through our loss two years ago when we lost our gorgeous 10yo to chronic illness.
Hugs OP xxx

I’m sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry about your cat OP.

I would be devastated if one of our cats died, but I wouldn't cancel a planned event with colleagues / clients or expect DH to do so.

So sorry about your poor cat. We lost one in similar circumstances 6 years ago and it was awful.
Take time to take care of yourself. I stupidly went to work straight after hearing the news and was a mess. Luckily I was working alone that day.

I think your dh should have stayed with you to be honest it's a horrible shock, really hits you in the gut.

so sorry for your loss, over the years we have lost two cats in this way, and two others collapsed at home from undiagnosed heart conditions and died awful traumatic deaths whilst I was on the phone to the vets, it's such an awful loss, if it's any consulation my husband would not have cancelled plans or taken a day off for any of these, he cares for the cats but doesn't love them in the way I do, so I wouldn't be too hard on him., however I hope once home he is there for you. You;ve had a terrible shock, allow yourself time to grief, sending you virtual hugs

I felt the same when I lost my DCat. She was absolutely my baby and I cry over her even now, 3 years on.

Big hugs to you OP.

Unfortunately when it comes to pets, some people just don't react as you (or I) have done. My colleague lost her dog at a tragically young age and had to take a few days off work. Even her Mum said she couldn't believe she'd need to take time off work, or that we'd agreed to it.

My DH didn't stay home when DCat died, but I didn't want or need him to. He wasn't as upset as me and if he didn't go to work, he didn't get paid.

I just stayed home and kept myself busy and just dragged a box of tissues with me wherever I went, ready for the next bawling session.

It's shit OP, it really is, especially in tragic circumstances like yours. Be kind to yourself. There's no right way, or wrong way, to grieve - only your way. xx