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Original poster

Sending cards

16 replies

Polly345 · 16/06/2023 09:05

Before I start, I know that less and less cards are being sent. Texts, WhatsApp, Facebook means that Best Wishes can still be sent.
However, I'm still a card sender and give gifts and that's my choice. My Dad and his wife havent sent cards to myself and DS for a while and I can't remember them ever sending a card to DH. From what I can gather, they still give and receive cards/gifts to/from her family. While I totally get that's their choice I'm wondering would I be unreasonable to stop sending cards to them?

OP posts:
DappledThings · 16/06/2023 09:06

Do you send cards because you want to or because it's expected? If you don't want to don't. You say you like to but also that you want to stop.

hattyhathat · 16/06/2023 09:07

Do you want to give them a card? Or not? That's all there is to it.

Newyearnewmeow · 16/06/2023 09:08

Bollocks to that. I wouldn’t be happy at all if they were sending cards to her family but not even bothering to send them you yours. Not nice.

hattyhathat · 16/06/2023 09:09

Also I expect the reason her family get them and his doesn't is because she sends the cards etc to her family and leaves him to send to hers and he can't be arsed.

hattyhathat · 16/06/2023 09:09

hattyhathat · 16/06/2023 09:09

Also I expect the reason her family get them and his doesn't is because she sends the cards etc to her family and leaves him to send to hers and he can't be arsed.

Leaves him to send to his even!

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 16/06/2023 09:12

I really don't like receiving cards, so I expect they will be glad if you stop sending them.

I send cards only to people who I know like to receive them.

Some people I know do not like receiving cards and we have a reciprocal agreement to not send.

ApplesInTheSunshine · 16/06/2023 09:13

YANBU. He won’t care.

WeWereInParis · 16/06/2023 09:20

I imagine she sends cards to her family, and your dad doesn't bother.
I'd stop sending cards, it probably won't bother them.

hattyhathat · 16/06/2023 09:21

Your dad is the one you should have beef with here not her

Original poster
Polly345 · 16/06/2023 09:22

A few years ago, the postman had left our Christmas card in an outbuilding at their house. (Normal practice if they were out and mail too big for letterbox.)
All hell let loose because we hadn't sent a card. They did tell us later but even after being so angry and giving me such a hard time, he found it funny.
Also it's not a case of her buying for her family and him buying for his - that's not the case. She told me that no presents were being given to anybody but later let slip as she was telling me about the lovely presents she had bought...

OP posts:
Original poster
Polly345 · 16/06/2023 09:24

I don't have beef with either of them but I think it will be different when they realise that we are stopping sending cards.
Also I don't get the idea of each sending to their own family. But that's just me

OP posts:
Original poster
Polly345 · 16/06/2023 09:25

But I am expected to send to her?

OP posts:
WeWereInParis · 16/06/2023 09:28

Polly345 · 16/06/2023 09:22

A few years ago, the postman had left our Christmas card in an outbuilding at their house. (Normal practice if they were out and mail too big for letterbox.)
All hell let loose because we hadn't sent a card. They did tell us later but even after being so angry and giving me such a hard time, he found it funny.
Also it's not a case of her buying for her family and him buying for his - that's not the case. She told me that no presents were being given to anybody but later let slip as she was telling me about the lovely presents she had bought...

Well they sound ridiculous. I wouldn't tolerate someone having a massive go at me for not sending a card whatever the circumstances, but especially if they didn't send me any!

And she sounds like a cow, I don't see how you can accidentally tell someone about all the lovely presents you've bought for everyone but them.

mondaytosunday · 16/06/2023 09:42

As mentioned, maybe SHE sends the cards to her family and expects that HE can send cards to his, and he doesn't.
Whatever, if you enjoy sending cards why stop? I send way more cards at Christmas than I receive, but I'm not going to stop.
And are there really people who don't like receiving cards? Never met any !

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/06/2023 09:45

If you never get cards from them, then stop sending them. If they get annoyed just say well for x years you haven’t sent any to us so it’s time to stop because it makes me feel a bit crap to send and never receive.

Laiste · 16/06/2023 10:16

Also I don't get the idea of each sending to their own family. But that's just me

Well, the alternative is one person doing all the donkey work of cards for both sides of the family. Which in my experience usually ends up being the woman.

I was daft enough to do this for 15 years with XH. I used to feel slightly sorry for XMIL as she only had sons and they were all shit at communicating or remembering stuff or including her, so i'd pick up the slack for XH and try and make up for his failings with her (ironically she hated me 🙄).

Remarried and i don't do this anymore. DH happily takes responsibility for doing that kind of stuff for his family and i do mine.

Re: your situation OP - just stop sending the cards.

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