Swimming teacher struggling to teach my child to swim

[Mostpeopleonhereareniceitsok]

My dc is almost 5, keen to get them swimming. Second lesson today one on one with a swimming teacher. He wouldn’t go in the deep pool as was scared (teacher was holding him) and when in the very shallow pool, wouldn’t really listen or follow instructions, just wanted to play, lots of shouting etc.
He said he wants to continue the lessons, I asked the teacher and she seemed to be saying if he won’t go in the bigger pool, how could she reach him.
Is he just too young? Should I wait or tell him he has to listen to the teacher etc (have said this before)
Its a long drive and expensive, so I want it to be worth it.

My two have picked it up no problem starting in the shallow pool so maybe for some children it helps. Both mine are confident in the water and I think part of that is down to gaining confidence in a shallow pool. But all children are different

I can understand this push for swimming in a country with a lot of domestic swimming pools. Or for people like me in specific unusual circumstances. But generally, the swimming lesson industry seems to me to be a massive money making scam. I know so many children stressed by the process and parents stressed by the cost and the process. And if it was simply a llife saving skill they would focus on practicing how to get out and on treading water and floating. Not keeping parents locked in to learning different strokes

I’d stop the lessons for a while, just take him yourself to the pool - a warm enough one! - regularly, and let him muck about and just get used to being in the water - and enjoying it. Enjoying it is IMO the key. And never mind about ‘proper strokes’ at this age - doggy paddle or underwater tadpole style is fine - as long as they’re happy.
Both my dds were like baby dolphins in the water well before they learned proper strokes at maybe 6 - by which time they came very easily.

god I hate smug parents who’ve done weekly lessons since before their child was crawling, lecturing others just to make them feel like all the money they spent was worthwhile

god I hate parents who judge other parents simply because they took them to swimming when young. If you want to promote being non judgemental try it yourself! @Hollyppp

"god I hate parents who judge other parents simply because they took them to swimming when young."

There's a difference between "taking them swimming" which many of us (not all, but many) can do and "swimming lessons" which many of us can't do. And there is also "5 is too late to start leasons-they should have started at 6 months" which is in a league of its own!

@CurlewKate the point is if you leave swimming until 5 then you get the problems such as fear of water that the op is experiencing. Taking them when little clearly isn’t about wanting to be smug or spending money, it’s a desire to get them used to water so they can learn to swim when a bit older. I can’t fathom a life where I’m angry that other parents have taken their kids to lessons….

There have been studies that have shown starting at 2-3 is the best in terms of outcome. Leaving it till 7 (as per phelps) massively increases the chances of never being able to swim.

Mine didn't start swimming lessons until 7, having intended to start her at 4, but Covid then a house move got in the way!

What's noticeable is the extra maturity and ability to follow instructions means she's making much much faster progress than the younger children in the group, or TBH friends who did baby swimming lessons with theirs.

This.

My ddad taught me and my siblings to
swim on holiday. This was back in the 80’s and I doubt it would have occurred to my dp’s to pay for lessons in those days.

My kids had weekly swim lessons but also definitely made the most progress on holidays when they had lots of time to put into practice what they had learned. I wouldn’t worry at this stage op.

That hasn't been my experience. My 4 year old DD has a once weekly half hour swimming lesson and by about lesson number 5 she was able to push herself off from the wall and swim a bredth. She's doing great and picking it all up. Getting stronger every week.

As a former swimming teacher I just want to say that 6 months is a terrible time to start lessons. It’s so expensive, and all it’s about is getting used to the water then. Five is a perfect time to start proper lessons.

Hi OP, not sure if you're still reading! You've got some emotional replies on here now... :)

If you are then I'm no expert but FWIW in your shoes I would:
put your boy into a class setting, not 121
take him yourself as well once a week, which could be an hour before or after the 'lesson' if that makes sense with the drive...?
get him good fitting goggles if he doesn't already have them

It sounds to me like he needs (a) more water confidence, more time to play and just be in the pool; and (b) that he'd probably benefit from watching peers follow instructions in the group setting.

My DS is a year older than yours, started in a group at level 1 about 6 months ago. Levels 1 and 2 were in the baby pool. He's now in level 3, doing widths of the big pool for 30 mins with different focus each drill... His confidence is high and he's really enjoying it!

Wish you all the best.

Our local pool don’t take them for lessons until 5. It’s a perfectly normal time to start.

I would put him into group lessons over the 1 to 1 for now and take him swimming regularly inbetween lessons to get him to enjoy and have fun in the water. In my experience some dc fly through the stages, others can take a long time to get it. Obviously this is mumsnet and you will have people telling you that their dc was swimming. 100m butterfly by the time they were 18 months old.

He needs both time to play and lessons.

We had a few years of lessons and then 2 weeks on holiday with a pool and daily pool time and she put it all together and can swim properly now. The huge amount of time gave her confidence. She is still doing lessons because they can teach her the stuff we cant, like putting her face in the water and blowing bubbles and breathing.

I doubt DH can teach that standard but also doubt he will get your son to focus. When I take daughter swimming, she just wants to play. She is much more compliant with the teacher asking her to do stuff.

I think you need to do a block if lessons with that teacher and see how he does before writing it off. But I would give a consequence if he doesnt listen, particularly after a few weeks of classes.

You need to take your child to swim so he can get into the pool and put his head under water and not be scared. It's a waste of money to go to lessons if he can't get into the pool. I agree with the teacher.

5 is old for swimming lessons if he's never been in the pool before. DC1 started at 5 but we took her swimming maybe once or twice a month before with a noodle. She was comfortable jumping into the teaching pool where she can't tocuh the bottom. She was also happy to put her head under water. DC2 started at 3 because DC1 was already going.

As a former swimming teacher I just want to say that 6 months is a terrible time to start lessons. It’s so expensive, and all it’s about is getting used to the water then. Five is a perfect time to start proper lessons

well, you’re wrong according to Sport England and a number of research studies. I love anecdotal pov assertions as facts.

My child does have attention issues. We manage this by taking him for fun in the pool regularly so he knows the difference. We also only schedule lessons when he's not frazzled after a day of school. He also goes through plateaus where he doesn't make much progress so we book on intensive courses in school holidays to work on particular skills one of these was reinforcing pool safety.

Catbumps your talking nonesense

I was going to say similar. My daughter started at 5 y.o. and I wasn't convinced she would listen well - similar activities with a one-to-one instructor she tended to try and dominate the situation and I was convinced she would not get on well. But we started her off in the group lessons at the same time as her older brother and it went really well.

One-on-one lessons could end up being like me trying to get her to do homework: lots of refusal to engage, "I can't do it" etc. A group lesson is more like a school classroom, where she is apparently very cooperative. She seems to thrive on peer pressure (they're all listening so I will too) and wanting to be seen to progress/be the best in front of the other children.

Give the lessons a few more goes and see what happens, but if it isn't working maybe try group lessons instead?

Our swim school uses armbands until they know kids are confident (and listen).
I would switch to cheap lessons honestly. (Although even cheap lessons are no longer cheap).

This is so Mumsnet - ‘best time to learn to swim is when they are a zygote’ or ‘my little billy could do a perfect butterfly stroke at 6 weeks’. So misleading but also awfully unhelpful.

and my kids did swim ‘lessons’ from 6 weeks as waterbabies was at its height. My nephews had none and were taught by my dad on holiday at 4/5/6. They now compete in swimming. My kids are pretty shit despite lessons all their lives. OP - do not worry! It will be fine. If teacher is saying it’s too soon, just let him enjoy the water and try again in 6 months. Water confidence is much more important than technical strokes at the teeny tiny age of 5.

I found this thread very interesting.
I cannot swim myself (Yes had lessons as an adult and still can't swim), so was very keen on my 3 DC to learn.
School lessons had not worked for me as a child, there being too many children in the class, so decided my aim was for them all to swim confidently by the time they started having lessons at school.
Our local borough sports centre did not do lessons until age 6, so instead went to a neighbouring borough where the sports centre did lessons from age 5.
Before then, I went each week with my children from around 6 months in the teaching pool, just to play, which gave them lots of confidence (and as it was so shallow, I was ok as well).
The teaching pool had not been built as such but as a hydrotherapy pool, but was now used mainly for toddlers and young children.
Lessons started there at age 5, and only in the teaching pool. The children started with arm bands etc and essentially taught all methods/strokes
They earned badges for width and length of the teaching pool, and only when they could swim a length unaided, (10 metres, I think), would they go into the main pool.
So in other words, your DC must be able to listen to instructions.
Make sure you go regularly for fun, to gain confidence, and maybe postpone lessons for another 6 months. Maybe your DC needs a different teacher.

What really made me very sad (for myself) was how kind and careful the proper swimming teacher was (unlike my school teacher who frightened me). A max of 12 in the class. She was so encouraging, getting the kids to try by praise, rather than bullying (as in my case - that's why I can't swim)

You don't need a special teacher or classes to teach your child the rudiments of swimming.

Your child isn't ready for serious swimming lessons anyway.

Go to the pool, let him wear armbands, and let him have fun splashing around and experiencing floating, jumping in, kicking his feet, getting his face under the water, blowing bubbles Buy a floaty board so he can use this too.

After a summer of fun in the pool, he should be ready for a group class in the autumn and winter. One on one swimming classes are not necessary, and can backfire if the teacher's methods or personality don't match the child's. The advantage of group classes is that he'll see other children following instructions and underatand what he's supposed to be doing.

@Catbumps "I can’t fathom a life where I’m angry that other parents have taken their kids to lessons…."

No.Neither can I. Maybe you could reread your post to get some insight into why they might have been upsetting.

I think 1:1 can be a bit intense for that age when really you still want it to be fun. We had a bit of a debate with our swim school for my then 3yo as she was too good for her pre-school class but couldn’t join the school aged ones. One of the options was 1:1 but we all felt it would be better to stay in the current class with other children and be in a group having fun than moving to something a bit more intense. I think 1:1 can be great but it’s got to be the right fit and right point (I think my older one would benefit now she’s had the point of perfecting strokes).

Im also not entirely convinced by beginners learning in deep pools. Teaching pools give a degree of confidence in the early stages. Both of mine did waterbabies in deep pools and that was fine as we were there in the water and it was really about fun and games. When waterbabies ended, my youngest did a term at a different pool for her pre-school classes where it was deep and with arm bands and we both hated it compared to the leisure centre lessons in the teaching pool.