Swimming teacher struggling to teach my child to swim

[Mostpeopleonhereareniceitsok]

My dc is almost 5, keen to get them swimming. Second lesson today one on one with a swimming teacher. He wouldn’t go in the deep pool as was scared (teacher was holding him) and when in the very shallow pool, wouldn’t really listen or follow instructions, just wanted to play, lots of shouting etc.
He said he wants to continue the lessons, I asked the teacher and she seemed to be saying if he won’t go in the bigger pool, how could she reach him.
Is he just too young? Should I wait or tell him he has to listen to the teacher etc (have said this before)
Its a long drive and expensive, so I want it to be worth it.

I think because he was teaching larger groups of 15-20 children at a time, he wasn't in the water. So they needed to be mature enough to behave, listen, not mess about. This was in the 90s.

My LO started just before turning 5 and made zero progress for about 9 months. We switched classes and suddenly something clicked and at (just) 6 he’s now an incredible swimmer (can dive in and easily swim a full 25m length with good technique). Kids really don’t need to start as babies, that’s nonsense. The first class he went to didn’t use armbands whereas the second did. I think the latter really really helped with confidence.

@Mostpeopleonhereareniceitsok I see . I think it's a bit of both op, don't expect him to learn quickly . What hat is he on?

Also take him on a public swim in the same pool for familiarity and playing. That will increase his confidence. If he is struggling too much try changing the time and instructor that helped one of friends too. And most importantly there is no such thing as right time, children learn at their own pace.

TheSnowyOwl
ContinuousProcrastination · Today 19:44

My dad used to teach swimming. He would refuse to have anyone in his class before the age of 7.

Why though? My 6 year old could swim 25m front crawl or back stroke before his 6th birthday. Properly!
Surely it should go without saying that the swimming is proper, otherwise they are just splashing/floating and somehow getting from side to side which isn’t swimming.

TheSnowyOwl

As a swimming teacher she means with a good standard of technique. Unfortunately what a parent thinks is good standard of swimming isn't always true.

Can you go a few times a week to just play in the pool, so he gets stronger in the water and more confident?

What is the dunking for? DC did a recognised course and it was all about gaining confidence and learning basics, then diving under to pick things up.

https://blog.swimable.com/pushed-dunked-and-forced

Hang in there. Give him a pep talk just before, remind him to listen to the teacher.

I’d suggest to lower expectations of speed of progress and let him enjoy himself. Think of him swimming independently in about 6 -12 months depending on motivation?

My DD (just turned 5, learning since 3) is being ‘difficult’ and messing about in her lessons. I just think her teacher has infinite patience to put up with it and still calmly encourage practice and progress! I see ‘progress’ about every 3-4 weeks with the in between seeming to be steps backwards, forgetting everything or just basic, repetitive practice.

Confidence is everything OP, get in the pool with him loads of times until he's really relaxed then graduate to big pool - also with him. Bin the lessons for a while. It's way too much pressure and expectations loaded on there.

Not an identical experience but I would not do lessons until he is confident and happy in the water; happy to put his face in the water and blow bubbles and showing some interest in swimming rather than just playing in the pool. I think it's not very productive to do lessons until that point. Our DD hated swimming when she started lessons at 5 as she was scared and wouldn't put her face under even after several weeks of lessons. The lessons were stressful and miserable for all of us and we took her out after a term (which in retrospect we should have done earlier). Instead we took her at least once a week ourselves for fun and water confidence and I followed a learn to swim book that took baby steps starting off with face in the shower in goggles, then face under water in bath, then under water in pool, walking on hands in shallow water, then finding natural buoyancy, face down star float etc. Eventually she was kicking off from the side and gliding face down across the pool and starting to move arms and legs naturally. At that point (after around a term), we enrolled her in lessons again as I wasn't confident I could teach her strokes and proper breathing. She is now swimming well at age 7 and loving her lessons. We were lucky because our local pool has a shallow training pool, available at certain times for general public. All kids are different but it worked well for us (eventually) to do the early steps of learning to swim ourselves and then do lessons with a swimming coach when we reached the point that she needed proper coaching that we couldn't do.

Baby swimming lessons here are £15/half hour..not everyone can afford that

@wineymummy I didn’t say they could? Op asked if 5 was too young and I said no as lots go from 6 months old.

DS2 was like this. 1:3 lessons and the instructor used to joke that DS2 got into the pool with his own lesson plan which involved getting in and out of the pool and playing with toys on the side.

So we stopped for a couple of years and when he restarted he was up for it. Got a place in the swim team last year (aged 10) which we didn't take (who wants to get up at 4am twice a week?) - we stopped lessons at that point as he's a great swimmer.

Don't sweat it. Things change

The first class he went to didn’t use armbands whereas the second did. I think the latter really really helped with confidence

armbands in a swim lesson is really wrong. It’s completely recommended against anyway, let alone in lessons.

Op - the instructor does seem to have a strange technique. In a pool where he can’t stand and dunking him…..are they properly qualified

Explain the lessons are for learning and he can play after, keep messing about tell him lessons will be cancelled.

Bribery?

Offer a small reward if he really tries and achieves something in the lesson such as going into the deep end, discuss with him before what he would like to be brave and try. Reward could be favourite snack/drink after lesson.

Nothing wrong with starting lessons at 5! Ds stated 1-1 at 7-8ish and had competed all badges and rookie life guard within a year, when they are ready they are ready. He also did group lessons at the same time,watching others his age do it encouraged him to give it a go so he didnt stand out as not being able to do it

When I ran swimming lessons we started them at 4, but some children weren’t ready and we would suggest waiting a while and starting again.

You say “the very shallow pool” - if the kids can get their feet on the bottom then it’s much harder to teach them

Small group lessons may suit him better, 1-to-1 lessons can be a bit too intense at that age.

Ignore anyone saying you gotta start at 6 months. They don’t do swimming at that age, it’s water play, water confidence and splashing. Proper swimming lessons is 4-5+.
god I hate smug parents who’ve done weekly lessons since before their child was crawling, lecturing others just to make them feel like all the money they spent was worth while

My grandfather taught me to swim ages 4. So I don't see why a parent can't teach their child 🤷‍♀️ My own daughter used to go to regular swimming lessons, which were pretty useless and then we went on holiday and she saw other kids swim and it just "clicked". She loves to swim now and is a good swimmer.

Another swimming teacher here...
not every child responds immediately to expensive 121 classes. if your child has little to no water experience, it's going to be a long haul. same if they have sen.
we don't know what the size and depth difference is between the big and small pool, but I'd say he's perhaps overwhelmed with a big pool atm.
Forget all the swimming 25 meters at age 5/6, and take the pressure off yourselves and your child. you have decided on 121 lessons, but you do have a choice...stay, play and learn in small pool til ready for big pool. a good teacher can teach a lot in a tiny pool. Or
drop all swimming classes for now til he's grown up a bit. take him swimming yourselves... find a family fun time and go for a no pressure splash about.
or put him in cheap and cheerful local classes. they can be chaotic, and it can take the less able swimmers a long time to move up stages but much cheaper in the long run.

But please don't pressure everyone into attempting to push your child into swimming when they're not ready. that will do so much harm.

children develop at different speeds and often have poor body awareness and coordination for a long time if they're not used to frequent exercise.

Finally, get him moving around in the bathtub and shower. get him used to all that water over his face and body. blow bubbles in the bath, put some goggles on, and put some sinking toys in it. blow bubbles with a straw.

Let him enjoy the water and all the sensations it gives him, and ask the teacher to slow down and take it at his pace. if you choose to stay.

good luck.

Why are you so keen for him to learn to swim?

What really helped my DC crack water confidence was taking them literally every day over the Christmas break a few years ago. We are lucky that I can take them into the pool at my gym. Personally I’d carry on with lessons and support as much as you can with family swim time to build general confidence in the water.

Not an exactly similar experience, but anyway, kind of the same age at least -
I had my first swimming lesson when I was five years old. Apparently I had some sort of meltdown, got really sad and scared and had to be carried out of the pool, crying (I remember this vaguely). No more swimming, until my parents put me in swimming lessons again maybe six months later, and by then it worked really well, and I learned how to swim! And I loved it.
So maybe he just needs more time, or a break.
Good Luck!

That's utter nonsense! I can't swim - terrified of getting water on my face. So I was determined my kids would learn.

Elder two started at 7 and 5. Swimming club wouldn't let them start until 5 and there was a long waiting list. Took eldest a while to put her face under the water and they took off. Second just wouldn't/couldn't - sometimes crossing their arms and refusing to participate. I used to be livid and helpless at the poolside!!

Might have given up only eldest was going anyway. Took 2 bloody years, but worked in the end. Youngest was slow to get going but in the end, all three are decently competent swimmers.

I remember one swimming teacher, seeing my elder two in the schools' swimming gala, commenting that she had never ever thought she would see X doing pencil jumps in the deep end of the main pool and complimented my patience and persistency (some would call it stubbornness lol!)

They did it with only lessons, so @Mostpeopleonhereareniceitsok your little boy is already streets ahead. Maybe one-to-one is too intense for him as yet?

Maybe I used the wrong term there with armbands. I mean the foam disc things worn in the arms. It’s Becky Adlington Swimstars so I think she knows a thing or two about swimming.

My DD started at 4 but then COVID hit and she was aged 7 in Stage 1 with a load of 4 year olds, and a huge fear of the water due to such a big gap.
She's never worn armbands though, and on all our family outings to the pool we gave her a woggle or a float not armbands, and now she's just 9 and in Stage 3 and just swam a full length the other day!
If this is his first set of lessons the big pool seems a bit ambitious, but if you are taking him yourself then do go for a woggle or a float not armbands or a life vest style thing.

Mine started swimming lessons at 3 years old and it was a long journey! They were in the teaching pool until stage three. They are all good swimmers now but it wasn't until stage 4 that they could "swim".

start group classes

and let him take his time

go swimming for fun at the weekend, that’ll help

Bribery worked for my kids. Nothing was really happening so I said if they could swim a width I'd buy them anything they wanted. They both did it and luckily they both asked for something cheap.