Is this rude?

[Maybehotandbothered]

I may well just be in a bad mood as I often am! But every time it's one of the dcs birthday. Dhs side of the family tell dh to come and collect their card/present.

For info we don't live nearby and we see his parents around once a month. When it's one of their birthdays we make sure that we go over and get their presents to them but we are just told the present is here come and collect it.

We both work full time and are very busy, we do drive and they drive too and they are retired.

Same thing happens with Christmas presents. They ask what the dc want then tell us to go and buy it and they'll give us the money 🤷‍♀️ it isn't just his parents who do this but siblings too.

Send them a text with your address. “We work full time. This is where we live. You’re welcome to drop in for a coffee.”

Lazy. Have they not heard of Royal Mail/DPD/insert half a dozen others?

The money thing is particularly rude, they just can’t be bothered.

My mum is like this. Will say she has a gift for DC but if we don't go within like a day she "loses it" or she'll say she's instead put it away for next year. She got DH and me an anniversary card once. As we didn't collect it on the day of our anniversary (we were away) she told us she'd put it away for next year instead. We saw her the day before and after our anniversary but it wasn't good enough for her. Some other family member sent us a gift for our DD when she was born and sent it to my mum's house. My mum wouldn't give us the gift until she met the baby. Baby was in neonatal ward for 6 weeks but apparently that wasn't good enough. Still haven't got that gift and DD is now 11 weeks and been out of hospital 5 weeks😂Mum gaslit us and said she already gave us the gift.

When it's one of their birthdays we make sure that we go over and get their presents to them but we are just told the present is here come and collect it.

DSis used to do this. So on DDs birthday a few years ago we decided that we were so busy that we couldn't go over (4 hour return trip). She reminded us multiple times, but I replied that we were extremely busy and would come when we could. She then began to feel bad DD hadnt gotten a gift from her and everyone else received their thank you cards but her and the tone changed slightly to concern. She complained (to several people apparently) to DB about the situation when she saw his thank you note and he told her to stop being lazy and was amazed we collected the gifts as he wouldnt dream of doing that to anyone. Shes never done it since and now brings them or gives them in advance when we see her.

My partners parents do this.

We have now started saying we are busy and they will have to drop it over.