Brighton to Devon

[HornbeamLane]

Im a single mum living in Brighton. DD is 3 and I'm looking to buy before the school allocation in January.

I have a mum. We've never really got on. I'm almost certain she has undiagnosed ASD (autism). She gives me a little bit of support for my DD in that she sees DD once every week for a few hours. I can't see my mum ever really taking a pivotal role in helping me. She's very self absorbed and is an emotional drain whenever I see her because she's so negative and argumentative.

I have great friends locally and in time would probably find them to be a much stronger network to me than family. DD has a father who is on and off. He's currently off and I don't know if he will come back into her life again.

Question is, I've lived in Brighton all my life and am considering a move away for a fresh start but I don't know where I'd go and whether it'd make my life harder than it already is by doing that.

I have a professional job so I can WFH largely anywhere really. I'm very lucky and I also have the ability to buy a house for in the region of £500k so I could stay in Brighton or move elsewhere.

I love Brighton for the diversity (my daughter is slightly mixed race, being 1/8th Caribbean), the laines, beaches, downs, swimming pools and everything being so close for kids to keep them busy.

What could I expect if I moved to Devon? Would I regret the move or get bored? Would there be enough for young kids there? Has anyone done the move and if so where would be recommended to move to there? It doesn't have to be Devon, it could be anywhere.

Or would I just be better to spend lots of holidays all over England and in time invest in a camper van or something to give me more flexibility? I love travelling and in all honesty after a very hard few years I just want to be free and have a fresh start. That's not to say I can't do that in a new home in Brighton but given my DD doesn't start school until sept 2024 I want to get it right from the outset for her and not have to move schools if I did decide to move.

Thanks for reading and for your comments

I think I would separate this out into two questions, one - do you actually want a fresh start? If the answer is yes - what do you want from the new place? This might be: good facilities, the ability to make friends and build a support network, diversity, good transport links, opportunities for teens etc. i would then try to find the place that best meets your needs, which in all honesty I would bet wouldn’t be Devon. However it sounds like your decision is complicated by whether you actually want to stay close to your current support network and whether dds dad will want to be involved.

What if you wanted to change jobs? Although there may be similar accessible from Devon you may need a long commute if you need to be in the office which may not work with childcare and what will salaries be.

I think it's good to move away from your home town, even for a few years. You might regret never seeing anything else. If you love Brighton you will miss it, there's nowhere like it. You might find places in Devon to be a bit 'small town mentality' compared to a diverse city.

It's a tricky one.

If you want diversity you're not going to find it in Devon I'm afraid. Even the cities aren't hugely diverse.

My best friends moved from London (where they were living with parents) to Ilfracombe in Devon. They bought a house, have had two kids and settled down and would not have it any other way. They absolutely LOVE Devon and wouldn't move back to a large city.

They attend school in Woolacombe. It's wonderful.

I would say the other thing to keep in mind is that it's tricky to get around without a car.

If you moved and hated it - you can always move back. I know it's not as simple as that, but you don't have to stay somewhere if it's not working!

I grew up in South Devon and lived there as an adult for a few years and loved it and would love to move back. I found the people pretty friendly and it was a much slower pace of life than where I live now in Hampshire. But Devon is a big county with a variety of different areas. It would take us over two hours to get to places on the North Devon coast. So you would have to pin it down a bit more than that.

I am finding it difficult to get my head around going through the rigmarole (and cost) of moving to a completely unknown area away from friends and family and possible support and having to start again from scratch just because you want a "fresh start". Unless there is more to it than you are telling us, I would move somewhere closer to where you are now maybe after researching different areas and schools, etc.

I love in Devon and I love it, but as a PP has said, as a whole Devon is very un-diverse. It is also one of the largest counties in England and doesn't have a great major road system between the North and the South of the county. It does have a wonderfully diverse countryside, with moors, heathland, wetland, woods, sandy beaches, rugged cliffs and just plain lush fields and hedges. Housing is not cheap, but probably on a par with Brighton.
You need to pin down what exactly you are looking for in a place to live - we probably have it somewhere in Devon... But it may be on a smaller scale.

The problem I see here is you arent really sure why you are moving. 500 grand would buy you a bigger house away from the south east and your child going to school.will cement you in a community anywhere but brighton is a unqiue place...it has city and cultural vibes but near the sea...

Oooh tricky, you really need to pin down what you're looking for, Brighton is a bit special in my opinion for being a vibrant city with a beach, you won't find that in Devon. Do you want small city living with excellent transport links eg Exeter or slower pace of life coastal community?

Stay in Brighton because you'll meet fabulous new people once your DD starts school and everything will change for the better for both of you. The schools are decent and your DD will thrive so you'll feel good about life again

Stay in Brighton! My kids are just at the end of primary in Brighton but it’s been brilliant- have met some wonderful people and make great friends! Brighton is a brilliant place to raise a family!

Thank you. This is really helpful.
I think part of it is I get resentful that I don't have anyone to help me and DDs father had been emotionally abusive. I would just like to live under a rock (ie somewhere really peaceful where I would have a nice quality of life) sometimes but actually I think that has really helped me to realise I live in a great place and that nothing stays the same (and that problems do follow you too). Thank you to those who responded