In a loop - anyone else?

[Wat2do222]

Go to bed every night thinking tomorrow will be the day...

Wake up late
Eat something quick and shitty for breakfast

Laundry moved to another surface
Work
Eat something equally shitty for lunch
Too much bullshit phone scrolling
Home
Dinner - not too bad but some times takeaway
Dishwasher is extra cupboard, never gets put away
Couch
Phone scrolling
Fall asleep on couch
Kick clean laundry off bed
Sleep

Wake up late
Lather, rinse, repeat

Every day
Not enough water, poor food choices, too much phone, not enough movement

Loop de fucking loop

I want to get off

Delete the phone apps that you doomscroll.
Use that time to make yourself good food.

I have tried that and an app blocker but I seem to always replace this with tv watching/binge watching stuff

Do you think you might be depressed OP, or just in a bit of a rut? If you suspect the former perhaps get yourself off to the GP.

Get out of the house. Easier now in summer, even if that starts with walking to get the take away or sitting in the garden to eat your food.

Can you get out on some walks or hikes on your off days?

Defo in a rut! Possible mild depression as I manage to function 'normally' for all intents and purposes. I have to confess I am not a fan of summer, full on hayfever, grass allergy and having to cover myself in factor 50. Prob spend more time in doors in summer than in winter 🙄

I could have written your post. Wish I had the answer. Let me know if you find it because I'm so far beyond fed up with life

Book something so you can’t faff and put it off? A swim? Meeting a friend?

Change one thing at a time.

Even if it’s not the big things like phone/tv - changing one thing will make you feel better and more capable. Put the laundry away before sleeping for example. Then you can tackle the bigger stuff slowly.

Isn't it so ridiculous that I cannot seem to manage being engaged with anything anymore? Is it menopause? Fuck knows, I just know that I want to change this bullshit but when it comes down to it I feel completely powerless

@StupidCupidKeepsOnCallinMe here for the hand hold x

Life feels like a constant loop! Every weekend I think this is the week I'll get up and exercise and not do the same old stuff each day

I feel like I'm in a holding pattern waiting for something to change or give me a kick up the arse. But I don't know what that is amd I really don't want it to be illness

Several friends have had bad health recently and making me realise I can't take health and staying on the loop indefinitely, I need to do something different before life passes me by.

@MoreCoffeeAndCake this 100%

Can you set an alarm so you don't wake up late? This is the easiest time of year to get up early. Then unload dishwasher and put away some laundry with the extra time in the morning.

I'm the same, recently self employed and no get up and go.
I think it's the heat.
However I did have every intention to have done a load of cleaning before dropping the kids off at school and instead I had to spend the morning de-lousing my child. K the kids seem to be throwing me off massively at the moment and it's doing my head in!

It's so easy to fall into this. I do too. And it's an evil circle, all those things you mention feed the rest. Too much scrolling = bad sleep = low energy = bad food choices = low energry = no exercise = no motivation etc etc etc

If you want to change things, focus on breaking one. Maybe the easiest one. 5 fruit and veg a day. Or a walk when you get home. One thing you will do all week. See how you feel and if you can add another, etc.

I was the same.

I'd vow to wake up the next day a different person and it just wouldn't happen.

I'm on a journey but my life is already 100x better and I'm still not done

My advice is START SOMEWHERE. just do one small thing today that you didn't do yesterday. Eg take your vitamins, get an early night. Just one. Only one.
Do another thing the next day. Floss your teeth.

If you can, find some things that unlock a lot of others. For me it was prioritising sleep. I had to analyse all the reasons why I wasn't sleeping well. Things changed. Caffeine stopped after 12pm. No afternoon naps, keep active so I sleep well at night. Scrolling stopped. People had to respect my sleep. They had to watch tv downstairs, or ask where there football kit was in good time. I was ruthless.

All of a sudden I was in a better frame of mind. I woke up motivated. The washing basket is always empty. I don't lose my keys. My dark circles have almost disappeared.

Then i felt better about myself. So I was like I deserve better. This was good. So I read atomic habits. Life changing. Starting building healthy routines around my precious sleep. A few stretches, vitamins

I kind of liked myself. Also, the occasions where I hadn't had a decent amount of sleep, I started going back to my time wasting procrastination. Journaling helped me recognise this.

I'm now changing my diet. Only putting high quality healthy things in my body. I feel amazing and there's so much I want to do. It's a gradual process. I now look at crisps and think I'll have a few but I know if I have any more I will feel and look rubbish and get bloated so I just pinch a few of someone's. It's all in the head.

I recommend journaling- every 1 hour write down how you fell and why. All of a sudden you'll notice patterns - I was always depressed and demotivated after a chat with my mum for instance. Even if it was a perfectly nice chat. I reckon it was resentment that she doesn't recognise how demanding and selfish she can be and guilt for never being good enough. No wonder I spent 30mins on the sofa scrolling eating crisps after those feelings. I call her while I'm cooking now and just eat after I've spoken to her.

Try it.

Sleep is a big issue for me and I'd feel better if I sorted it. But there's some sort of barrier to doing it - mentally I know I need to sleep better, but can't motivate myself to do it.

@declutteringmymind was there anything that triggered you sorting sleep? Would you recommend reading Atomic Habits to get the initial 'just do something' motivation?

@Wat2do222 how do we motivate ourselves?!!! I am wondering how to get off this loop, maybe the first step is recognising it and committing changing one thing at a time. But what to start with, sleep might be too big for me to do as a starting habit.

@Nordicrain good advice. Any advice on how to layer up habit changes - is it one habit change for x days, x weeks, then move onto next habit? Did you find a particular pattern worked for you or has it been random?

@MoreCoffeeAndCake

I wasn't even in the right headspace to read atomic habits.

I did sleep by getting up 30 mins earlier. I didn't put any pressure on myself. So I set the alarm for 6:15, went down, got a coffee and went back to bed and stayed there.
Then keep active throughout the day and went to bed at 10pm, put a podcast on and listened until I slept. Of course lots of teething issues.

I also started a bit of a ritual before bed. Putting AirPods in and listening for 10 mins while I brushed my teeth, flossed and out all my things in charge. Also fresh linen, eye mask and all luxurious things. Now it's something I look forward to. I also got DH on board. He can join me but he has to get in before 10pm. After that I'm not entertaining him. We have a better sex life for it but it's getting difficult to dodge the kids. I have compromised and stay up later in a Friday and a Saturday but I am able to lie in as the children are a bit older and can fend for themselves.

I do have a melatonin if I go out of sync and have to sleep virtually naked as I am running warmer thanks to peri. I also try and avoid eating bout 2 hours before bed.

I've also accepted that doing something 5/7 times a week is fine. So vitamins, flossing, skincare. I don't feel like a failure if I skip things once or twice as it's more acivable in the long term that way.

I'd say start with the journaling. You won't need to do it for long. Often, I make the realisation as soon as I write it down. I suggest doing it for one day.

I think I would start with the easiest, just to get a bit of a boost. So that's whatever is easiest for you. For me the biggest stressor is sleep/ insomnia and I find exercise really helps with that so that's a motivator for me and would be where I would start. Similarly, I would probably struggle more to cut bad things out of my diet than add good things, so I would probably start by adding more veg while not focusing too much on what else I ate. And so on.