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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Last seen .... on WhatsApp

48 replies

dubiousgeorge · 14/06/2023 10:48

Dating a man. It's early days. We get on well. I don't want anything serious. I'm a busy full time working mother so my down time is limited.

He also lives a full and busy life so a situation where we can meet now and again , maybe once a week and some weekends would suit us both.

We were chatting on the phone last night and we were talking about the ' last seen' facility on WhatsApp. Mine is disabled as my ex seemed to know when i was on line and towards the end started questioning me about why I was on line so later last night or who I was whatsapping etc .

So last myself and this man were chatting about that function and he said that he needed to disable his as he was getting messages from his ex asking what he was going on line at certain times when he was meant to be at work or whatever .
He said you have yours turned off, don't you? I was like Confused

AIBU to run ???

OP posts:
PaniniHead · 14/06/2023 10:55

Why run? It’s not like he has to go hunting through WhatsApp to see a status, it’s right under your name. If it’s blank then it shows you don’t have yours switched enabled

cocksstrideintheevening · 14/06/2023 10:56

Why run?

Original poster
dubiousgeorge · 14/06/2023 10:56

But he does need to go in and search for when I was last on line. It's not visible . Or am I wrong ?

OP posts:
Pocketfullofdogtreats · 14/06/2023 10:57

It's visible, I think.

CindersAgain · 14/06/2023 10:58

It’s visible.

deepspace9 · 14/06/2023 10:58

Are you inclined to run because he noticed that yours was turned off? I'm a bit confused tbh.

popandchoc · 14/06/2023 10:58

It's visible on the chat. I know people who have it off as it doesn't show when they were last online when you are chatting.

Incognito2023 · 14/06/2023 10:58

Easily visible, right under your name

deepspace9 · 14/06/2023 10:59

dubiousgeorge · 14/06/2023 10:56

But he does need to go in and search for when I was last on line. It's not visible . Or am I wrong ?

No it's right there under the contact name. He wouldn't need to search.

sparebooks · 14/06/2023 10:59

No it's visible right there in your chat with him!
A few of my friends have theirs disabled and yes I could probably you which ones- I don't care! It's just something you can notice.

WunWun · 14/06/2023 10:59

It's just visible if turned on. Even if it wasn't I don't see why you would need to run?

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 14/06/2023 11:00

Everyone can see it isn't on. People see that messages have been delivered to me but they don't ever see the blue tick or last on line.
It seems to be far more common to be invisible these days.

Heronwatcher · 14/06/2023 11:01

Eh? Mine gives that information for all of my contacts when I am typing a message to them- it runs across the top of the screen like a train departure. If you’ve got other evidence that he’s a stalker, obviously get out but I don’t think this is it!

Gymgoingfool · 14/06/2023 11:01

Goodness that’s an extreme reaction, it’s very clear when it’s enabled.

Incognito2023 · 14/06/2023 11:02

Do people know that you can show it as ‘not visible’ just to specific contacts?

I changed my DM to that (she asked too many questions 🤣) - it does mean that I also can’t see when SHE was last online, but I don’t want to know anyway

Floofer20 · 14/06/2023 11:04

If you have it turned off for yours then you don’t see others status either - so that’s probably where your confusion is coming from!
if he has it on he will clearly see on others profiles when they were last seen and it’s pretty obvious when someone has it off

TokyoSushi · 14/06/2023 11:07

I know which of my friends have it on or not, it's just something that you notice when messaging somebody. I wouldn't say that just this in isolation is a red flag.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 14/06/2023 11:08

Why would you run!?

if you have yours turned off you can’t see anyone else’s last seen but you can see (and everyone can see) when you are currently online (it says online under the name in the chat)

Original poster
dubiousgeorge · 14/06/2023 11:16

Aw thanks. I got it wrong.
I thought he had to physically go in and search to see when I was last on line or not , as the case may be .
Thanks .

OP posts:
Natty13 · 14/06/2023 11:20

If you don't have your last seen turned off you can see other people's last seen right under their name when you message them. But those with theirs turned off fontnget to see other people's last seen so when you text each other you will both see a blank space under the name but when he texts other people who have theirs visible he will see it. Now he's turning his off he won't be able to see anybodys last online.

Gymgoingfool · 14/06/2023 11:21

dubiousgeorge · 14/06/2023 11:16

Aw thanks. I got it wrong.
I thought he had to physically go in and search to see when I was last on line or not , as the case may be .
Thanks .

No it’s right there under thr name.

ItsBritneyBitchhhh · 14/06/2023 11:22

Everytime I see a thread about Whatsapp I just shake my head because the OP never seems to understand how it works!

EmmaEmerald · 14/06/2023 11:23

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 14/06/2023 11:00

Everyone can see it isn't on. People see that messages have been delivered to me but they don't ever see the blue tick or last on line.
It seems to be far more common to be invisible these days.

I'm invisible on WA too - which I think means people can't see I'm typing either?

I'm a bit confused by the OP.

EmmaEmerald · 14/06/2023 11:24

dubiousgeorge · 14/06/2023 10:56

But he does need to go in and search for when I was last on line. It's not visible . Or am I wrong ?

I mean, I don't think you can search, what would be the point of invisibility otherwise?

EmmaEmerald · 14/06/2023 11:25

ItsBritneyBitchhhh · 14/06/2023 11:22

Everytime I see a thread about Whatsapp I just shake my head because the OP never seems to understand how it works!

I don't either

currently struggling with chat notifications as it seems to be all or nothing, maybe my ancient phone?

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