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Original poster

How stop baby waking at 5am

83 replies

jellybelly22 · 14/06/2023 06:57

We are on our knees. It's actually getting earlier, today it was 4:30am! She goes to bed relatively early at about 6pm but she no longer has an afternoon nap and is absolutely exhausted by this time. I push it as long as I can in the hope that the later she goes to bed the longer she'll sleep in in the morning but it's been 5am or before religiously for weeks now.

She is 14 months and co sleeps with us. Any ideas?

OP posts:
comfyslippets · 14/06/2023 07:10

In my experience you either have to sacrifice your nights or mornings I'm afraid. If you want baby to wake later then you have to find a new routine during the day so she goes to sleep later. If you say she's exhausted by six and doesn't need a nap during the day the only alternative may be to let her have a short nap about four o'clock. Mine naturally stopped napping during the day by about 9 months. I used to get them in bed by 7 but knew they'd be up bang on half five every day! It was exhausting but I liked my evenings to myself.
I feel your pain though, it's so relentless every day. Also very boring getting up at that time of day every single day

Sirzy · 14/06/2023 07:13

You’re best changing your timings around her for now. So you go to bed sooner rather than expecting her to sleep later.

HAF1119 · 14/06/2023 07:13

You might find as summer ends that you can push it later but probably not now as it will get light/hear birds etc

For me I accepted a 6pm-5am and went to bed earlier myself, an 11 hour night sleep for them isn't too bad :) and in Sept/Oct I'd start trying to move it back a bit which may work then..

If you do really want to try to move it back now then moving both nap and night sleep back by 15 mins a day giving 2 days at the new time would move it an hour later after 8 days, sometimes that works, I just worry then they'll go bed 7pm and still wake 5am which is what mine would have done in summer!

Original poster
jellybelly22 · 14/06/2023 09:27

I think I can probably handle 5am onwards but anything before then is the middle of the night surely! I think it probably is to do with the birds and the light, our curtains are pretty heavy and dark but you can still tell when it's light. Let's hope we get a break when winter rolls around again!!

We have started going to bed at about 9 (the same time as our older dc) which is annoying as it's our only adult time to chill. Please tell me this will get better!

OP posts:
bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyza · 14/06/2023 09:31

My child is 7 and still wakes up between 5 and 6. Tried everything and hasn't worked. We just go with it.

douglasadamswasright · 14/06/2023 09:32

Sleep with them. They go right back to sleep if you are lying next to them. Happened with mine. It's natural, they only wake to check you are there.

MrFlibblesEyes · 14/06/2023 09:33

Is there a reason she doesn't have an afternoon nap? Sounds like she still needs one so you can push bedtime bit later. If she's refusing to nap in a cot could you maybe take her on a long pushchair walk or drive to make her doze off?

Original poster
jellybelly22 · 14/06/2023 09:56

douglasadamswasright · 14/06/2023 09:32

Sleep with them. They go right back to sleep if you are lying next to them. Happened with mine. It's natural, they only wake to check you are there.

We do co sleep. When she's awake for the day she's awake and no amount of trying to settle her back down will work. She climbs all over us 🙈

OP posts:
Original poster
jellybelly22 · 14/06/2023 09:59

MrFlibblesEyes · 14/06/2023 09:33

Is there a reason she doesn't have an afternoon nap? Sounds like she still needs one so you can push bedtime bit later. If she's refusing to nap in a cot could you maybe take her on a long pushchair walk or drive to make her doze off?

She just doesn't want one. If I put her in the cot she cries or shouts to come out. She never falls asleep in the buggy but she does occasionally in the car. I suppose I could take her for an afternoon drive just so she can have a little nap then we could test the going to bed an hour later strategy.

OP posts:
NurseEssie · 14/06/2023 10:23

We go to sleep at 8pm

Wake up fresh and rested at 5am.

What do you actually miss out on after 7pm? Netflix, phone scrolling?

reabies · 14/06/2023 10:27

My 13m goes to bed at 7, I had to push it back from 6 to combat 5am wakes. You're right they are soul destroying (and I am also in bed before 9pm most nights, I just hate getting up early!!)

Do you have blackout blinds? We have a blackout blind in our room but with gaps around it and I'm struggling to sleep past 4am at the moment. I have ridiculously heavy duty ones in DS room though which are doing a better job for him.

What time is she waking from her one nap? Can you get it as close to 2.30pm if possible, even if that means putting her down later? I know with a 5am wake that would mean keeping her awake for like 7h in the morning so probably not fun for a few days, but might help. Or yep a little car catnap around 4pm might help her power through til 7.

Fuzzyblank · 14/06/2023 10:28

Wait 10 years?!
mine were the same and over the years it slowly got pushed later and later. Now my 11year old is between 6-7 and the 12 year old 7-8.
nothing we did ever stopped the early wake up. Even on holiday with much later nights they would be up!

CoalCraft · 14/06/2023 10:31

I ended up just being quite strict and leaving baby gurgling in her crib on her own from when she woke up at 5 till I was willing to get up at 6. If she actually got distressed I'd go and give her a quiet cuddle but no playing, no getting dressed, no doing anything fun/interesting at all. Seems to have worked, she wakes up around 5:45 to 6 now. Bed time at 7 pm.

Can see how that's tricky of you're co-sleeping though!

QuinnofHearts · 14/06/2023 10:35

Stop co sleeping

GaspingGekko · 14/06/2023 10:36

What do you do when she wakes? For us staying in a dark room, not being fun, encouraging quiet time worked to an extent.
Blackout blinds is definitely a great idea.
For our early waker moving bedtime didn't have any impact. Just meant he was extra cranky after a later night. At 10 he still wakes up before 6am most days, but at least he can get up alone now.

Original poster
jellybelly22 · 14/06/2023 10:42

We try and lay still for as long as possible, I'll stroke and shush her to try and calm her down again but once she's awake she sits up, clambers all over us and pokes us. It's not a peaceful, calm environment so one of us ends up getting up and letting the other sleep for another hour or so.

Getting up at 5 means she's usually ready for a sleep again by 9:30-10. She'll usually have an hour or so then but she's always up before lunch and then it's a case of powering through bed. I think I'll have to try a car nap in the afternoon but it's not really a long term solution.

Why would I stop co sleeping? She'll still wake up, probably distressed and just cry in her own room so I'd have to get up anyway.

OP posts:
AuntieJune · 14/06/2023 10:42

We had this, nothing worked.

We got blackout blinds and they complained it is too dark so now we have blackout blinds and a nightlight. Entirely pointless!

It's more bearable if you're not all in the same bed - so either not co-sleeping or one of you sleeps in a different room and gets a lie in.

Mine would reliably sleep until 6/6.30 by age 3 or so... At the age of yours, DC2 was sharing a room with DC1 and there was risk of both waking up so we'd take it in turns to just get up at an ungodly hour.

AuntieJune · 14/06/2023 10:45

I'm not anti-co-sleeping at all but it changes how both you and your DC sleep - I think adults sleep more deeply without kids in the bed and kids might just do the same.

The touch and sound of other people can be soothing but it can make you wake up too.

DontBePassiveAggresive · 14/06/2023 10:48

At that age they defo need a nap. Can you take them for a drive at around 2pm to get them to sleep for a nap. Then bedtime will be later then wake up should be later.

Original poster
jellybelly22 · 14/06/2023 10:50

I would like her to be in her own room but that's a whole other battle. In fairness she sleeps in her own cot in our room and only tends to come in bed with us if/when she wakes in the night. Which more often than not she does.

I'm aware that we're probably waking each other up to some extent but the morning wake up seems to be more habitual now than anything else.

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 14/06/2023 10:54

They grow out of it slowly by year 12 but until then, you mostly just live on their schedule. If baby decides it’s awake, it’s awake.

That being said, dd can cope with 5.30 am starts at work, ready to open at 6, quite well.

wishing3 · 14/06/2023 11:00

Do you reckon you could try and push the morning nap later? Maybe that could make bedtime later?

Ohmy88 · 14/06/2023 12:58

It may not solve the 5am wake ups but I would really try and get closer to 7pm as a bed time!

libraryquery · 14/06/2023 13:02

I think she's overtired. At 14 months mine were in bed asleep by 6:30pm, woke at 6-6:30am but still napped for a couple of hours from 12:30-2:30 ish. In fact, that carried on until they were 2.5 or so (nap a little later and shorter by then, so maybe 1:30-2:30). They were still sleeping 6:30-6:30 at night until their first year of school.

Can you try absolutely exhausting her all morning (swimming, soft play, running in the park if she's mobile enough), having an early lunch and putting her to bed for a nap?

shakeitoffsis · 14/06/2023 13:03

We just never engaged with them if they were awake that early, If they weren't crying and just awake then leave them be. Also think 6pm is too early for bed and i wouldn't be co sleeping either at that age but that's just my opinion.