If you and your partner work full time…

[Dreamingofthathouse]

… how much time do you spend with your children? Are you satisfied with your work life balance?

DP and I both work full time with long hours. Three days a week we barely see our children if at all, and we try to make up for it on Fridays after work and weekends.

Many of the families around me have a stay at home parent or a parent who works part time. I feel so guilty I can’t spend more time with my children myself - but I would find it challenging to go part time (would have to change jobs, probably also careers, find a cheaper rental, massively adjust lifestyle etc).
DP feels no guilt whatsoever and would be put out if I switched to part time as it would be a big pressure on our finances.

How do others see this trade off?

Oh OP, this is such a big thing for me at the minute. I’ve just gone back to work full time last week after having DC2. I am just full of guilt because like you, we could make some fundamental changes and I could reduce my hours or even quit altogether… and I know I am lucky to have that possibility when some many people don’t have a choice financially and they have to work FT. Thing is, I just can’t bring myself to do it; I’ve worked hard to get to the job I am and I also know it would be a big strain on DH to be the only earner. But I feel super selfish and guilty as a mum to say that.

fortunately for me, I can work from home half of the week and can totally flex my hours so I do get chance to do the school run some days… but it doesn’t stop the guilt, especially when it comes to my 1yo who is with my mum for most of the day.

I don’t know how to handle these feelings either. When I just had DD, the guilt eased when she went to school because I knew she had to be there. Now I have DS, I have the same feelings all over again.

I share to say, you’re not on your own with the worry and the emotion. I also hope some other wise MNs come along with some words of advice on this thread :) xxx

I went back FT after both mat leaves and have no regrets. My DSs adore their childminder (nearly 10 years they’ve been going to her) and I am a better parent because I’m happier and not stressed about money. DH has them for the holidays (teacher) and they’re all fed up with each other by the time term starts again. My DParents both worked FT and I never felt in any way abandoned.