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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Disabled seat on buses

365 replies

Spidey66 · 13/06/2023 17:37

So about 10 days ago I tripped over a step and broke my arm. I had a cast on for a week, then it was removed but I still have a sling and am in considerable pain.

I took a brief trip to the high street on the bus for cash today. On the return I got on the bus and sat on the disabled seat nearest the driver. As i was on the inside, my injured left arm was against the window so I felt safe as I feel anxious about others bumping into me, or losing my balance at an emergency stop. I feel I am entitled to use the disabled spot as I have a temporary disability, which given I have a sling is obvious.

An older woman sat next to me on the outside of the seat then a much older lady got on and there didn't appear to be a seat for her. I felt dead guilty (damn you Catholic childhood!) and ended up explaining to her why I wasn't able to stand up for her. As it was, she was fine with my explanation and the lady sat next to me offered her the seat.

So is it is OK for a middle age woman to use a disabled seat because of a broken arm? Noone on the bus made me feel bad except myself but I don't know their thoughts!

OP posts:
Inmydreams88 · 15/06/2023 18:03

Newname211 · 15/06/2023 12:50

Wait, so you now think other people should get up for OP because of her broken arm?

But op shouldn’t sit down because a broken arm isn’t disabled enough?

Which is it?

Show quote history

Yes if OP got on a bus and it was full and she had a broken arm I'd expect someone, any decent human being to offer her to sit down. Thats what I would do. It would only be fair.

But if I was OP in her situation who sat herself down in a priority seat and then an elderly woman got on and OP took it upon herself to say to this lady (who OP has no idea if she has a disability, bad hip, arthritis, heart issues etc etc) I need this seat more than you sorry and not bother to offer her it.

Catchasingmewithspiders · 15/06/2023 18:18

Inmydreams88 · 15/06/2023 18:03

Yes if OP got on a bus and it was full and she had a broken arm I'd expect someone, any decent human being to offer her to sit down. Thats what I would do. It would only be fair.

But if I was OP in her situation who sat herself down in a priority seat and then an elderly woman got on and OP took it upon herself to say to this lady (who OP has no idea if she has a disability, bad hip, arthritis, heart issues etc etc) I need this seat more than you sorry and not bother to offer her it.

Show quote history

The OP didn't tell the older lady she needed the seat more

She told the older lady why it was difficult for her to stand

They are not the same thing

Original poster
Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 13:14

So in case you’re interested…. I had a fracture clinic appointment today. The injury hasn’t got worse but apparently there is a risk of further injury to the tendon in my shoulder. They are aware I’m not keen on surgery so for the next week I have to wear a poly sling instead of a collar and cuff. This is larger and more supportive than the one I had over the past week and is restricting my left arm more and I have to wear it 24/7 except for washing or dressing.

Youll be pleased to know my husband gave me a lift to and from the hospital but as the sling is even more restrictive than the one I’ve just had….if I was on a bud yes I would use an available priority seat. For those who take umbrage at this sorry (not sorry). I will make the decision myself to preserve my own safety, not ask random people off the internet.

OP posts:
Luxell934 · 16/06/2023 13:20

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 13:14

So in case you’re interested…. I had a fracture clinic appointment today. The injury hasn’t got worse but apparently there is a risk of further injury to the tendon in my shoulder. They are aware I’m not keen on surgery so for the next week I have to wear a poly sling instead of a collar and cuff. This is larger and more supportive than the one I had over the past week and is restricting my left arm more and I have to wear it 24/7 except for washing or dressing.

Youll be pleased to know my husband gave me a lift to and from the hospital but as the sling is even more restrictive than the one I’ve just had….if I was on a bud yes I would use an available priority seat. For those who take umbrage at this sorry (not sorry). I will make the decision myself to preserve my own safety, not ask random people off the internet.

“I will make the decision myself to preserve my own safety, not ask random people off the internet”

🙄So why ask random people off the internet in the first place then?? You made the thread OP!

TimesRwo · 16/06/2023 13:39

Luxell934 · 16/06/2023 13:20

“I will make the decision myself to preserve my own safety, not ask random people off the internet”

🙄So why ask random people off the internet in the first place then?? You made the thread OP!

Show quote history

My thoughts exactly! An aspect of AIBU I never understand!

Original poster
Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 13:40

I’m wondering myself…,

OP posts:
Sissynova · 16/06/2023 13:42

‘Some people don’t agree with my so now I don’t know why I asked!!’

Original poster
Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 13:44

Anyway, forget it. If I’ve learnt anything from this thread it’s to not pass judgement on those sitting in the seats as you don’t know what they’re going through. And to offer my seat-any seat- to those with arm injuries knowing exactly how hard it is to get round on a moving bus with a broken arm.

OP posts:
Dachshund40 · 16/06/2023 13:52

I really wasn’t taking unbridgeable at you using a priority seat, as I and many have said, it’s the fact you’re comparing a broken arm and PRE osteoporosis to life long and complex disabilities. Such disabilities come with much more restriction than a seat on a bus and many face daily severe prejudice as well as painful life limiting conditions. You’ve a broken arm, needed a seat and got one, nothing was hindering you significantly, you just didn’t like some of the responses on here.
if anything positive come out this situation, I hope it’s that you realise how privileged you are.

Original poster
Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 14:02

And really to go with my own gut feeling and conscience as to what is right and wrong in a situation.

OP posts:
myladydarbanville · 16/06/2023 14:04

Well, your conscience signalled to you that you ought to feel guilty... so perhaps you should be listening to that, next time.

Original poster
Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 14:08

Dachshund40 · 16/06/2023 13:52

I really wasn’t taking unbridgeable at you using a priority seat, as I and many have said, it’s the fact you’re comparing a broken arm and PRE osteoporosis to life long and complex disabilities. Such disabilities come with much more restriction than a seat on a bus and many face daily severe prejudice as well as painful life limiting conditions. You’ve a broken arm, needed a seat and got one, nothing was hindering you significantly, you just didn’t like some of the responses on here.
if anything positive come out this situation, I hope it’s that you realise how privileged you are.

I wasn’t though. At worst I may have described it as a ‘temporary’ disability. If this caused offence I’m sorry, but I said time and time again I was well aware it was a temporary condition.

But I didn’t post again to start all this off again, I just thought some people may want an update but clearly I was wrong and those disagreeing with me just wanted to continue giving me a hard time. I’ve had that, thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 14:10

myladydarbanville · 16/06/2023 14:04

Well, your conscience signalled to you that you ought to feel guilty... so perhaps you should be listening to that, next time.

I don’t feel guilty, thanks. A slight twinge at the time, but having been told that actually I am at risk of further injury to my tendon if I had had a fall and my conscience is clear now. :)

OP posts:
myladydarbanville · 16/06/2023 14:16

Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 14:10

I don’t feel guilty, thanks. A slight twinge at the time, but having been told that actually I am at risk of further injury to my tendon if I had had a fall and my conscience is clear now. :)

Show quote history

Oh, right. This whole thread started by you stated that you felt "Catholic guilt" and the point of the thread was to get reassured what you did was okay. The specific words you used were:

I felt dead guilty

Original poster
Spidey66 · 16/06/2023 14:17

Yes I felt guilty, but realise now I was wrong to feel guilty.

OP posts:
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