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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dd12 party

20 replies

Eyeofthetigers · 13/06/2023 14:36

agreec for my dd 12 to have a garden party
we agreed 15 x 12-13 year olds can attend
now I’m crapping myself as I did not think that there would be potential for alcohol! It never crossed my mind but someone mentioned it. My dd promised she would not allow this but then said it’s not her fault of someone sneaks it in. Her friend came over and told me that others will just bring their own, or whatever their parents allow

OP posts:
Original poster
Eyeofthetigers · 13/06/2023 14:37

So now I’m worried sick as obviously me removing or chucking kids out would embarrass dd but I can’t have that. Iv told her to be very clear that I’m not allowing alcohol now she is worried too

wwyd? There’s no way I can condone alcohol use at this age and I don’t want to be responsible for kids drinking

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Napmum · 13/06/2023 14:46

If they bring alcohol call their oaf4ns and get them collected. 12 and 13 is really young for drinking at a party.

Tell DD to warn them in advance. If anyone does bring anything, then it will be a life lesson for all involved. Sometimes, we need to stick to boundaries for everyone's sake.

fishonabicycle · 13/06/2023 14:47

Er take it off them. No way that should be happening and never happened at my son's parties at that age!

Beamur · 13/06/2023 14:48

They're 12, no way should alcohol be allowed..
Tell your DD to make this clear to her guests and say anyone bringing alcohol will have it confiscated.

edwinbear · 13/06/2023 14:50

I have DS 13 (14 in August) and DD 11 (12 in November). Alcohol is most definitely not on the cards for either of them, or their friends, yet. I'd be amazed if 12/13 year olds are sneaking alcohol into parties. 15/16 yes, but not 12/13.

Sissynova · 13/06/2023 14:51

wwyd? There’s no way I can condone alcohol use at this age and I don’t want to be responsible for kids drinking

So don't? Pretty easy.
Surely you're planning to be there for a 12th birthday party?

Original poster
Eyeofthetigers · 13/06/2023 14:52

Sissynova · 13/06/2023 14:51

wwyd? There’s no way I can condone alcohol use at this age and I don’t want to be responsible for kids drinking

So don't? Pretty easy.
Surely you're planning to be there for a 12th birthday party?

Of course! But now I feel like I’m going to have to patrol and check all the kids

OP posts:
Original poster
Eyeofthetigers · 13/06/2023 14:52

Beamur · 13/06/2023 14:48

They're 12, no way should alcohol be allowed..
Tell your DD to make this clear to her guests and say anyone bringing alcohol will have it confiscated.

Yes I have done this!

OP posts:
Original poster
Eyeofthetigers · 13/06/2023 14:54

dd had wanted the back garden to herself for dancing etc I had sorted water fight for the end! It’s over heating her friend say people will bring their own it’s made me really worry

OP posts:
Runnersandtoms · 13/06/2023 14:56

Surely you'll be around giving them drinks and food etc. It's not like you need to check bags or anything. Just keep an eye out if you see anyone with alcohol and if so you'd be justified in sending them home and checking others' bags at that point.

It definitely wouldn't cross my mind at that age. 16, yes, 13, no. All my teens (13,15,16) claim to find all alcoholic drinks disgusting. I've offered the older two drinks sometimes and they always say no. The 13 year old refused to even taste a sip.

Fluffytoebeanz · 13/06/2023 15:00

My 13 year old went to a sleepover and called us to collect her at 1 am. Turns out alcohol had been involved and she was persuaded to drink it and she was sick, she was very uncomfortable with the situation. I was furious. The parents were very hands off. Another girl is threatening to take vodka to sport day 🙄. You'll need to be vigilant.

Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 13/06/2023 15:55

Contact all the parents and get them to talk to / check the pickets of their kids before they bring them

Original poster
Eyeofthetigers · 13/06/2023 17:43

I have been really clear no alcohol which i isn’t think was an option at 12! But I’m worried it will get past me and I’ll only know when it’s too late but I have told dd if anyone is drunk they are going home

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wingingit1987 · 13/06/2023 17:44

Is this a thing with kids that are so young??? 16 years old I would expect it but not 12-13.

Nottodaty · 13/06/2023 17:48

My daughter had a 13th birthday last September- I removed any of our alcohol (just in case) and mentioned to my daughter that it wouldn’t be allowed. I left them to it to a point (I sat by the front door) I could tell that the parents on pick up were anxious to see if they picking up any drunk children - they didn’t it was all ok.

My daughters 18th - never again 😁

Original poster
Eyeofthetigers · 13/06/2023 17:57

wingingit1987 · 13/06/2023 17:44

Is this a thing with kids that are so young??? 16 years old I would expect it but not 12-13.

Well apparently so! Tbh I regret saying she could have a party now I hadn’ t thought of this!

OP posts:
Original poster
Eyeofthetigers · 13/06/2023 17:57

Nottodaty · 13/06/2023 17:48

My daughter had a 13th birthday last September- I removed any of our alcohol (just in case) and mentioned to my daughter that it wouldn’t be allowed. I left them to it to a point (I sat by the front door) I could tell that the parents on pick up were anxious to see if they picking up any drunk children - they didn’t it was all ok.

My daughters 18th - never again 😁

Yeah that’s what I was planning on doing but now I feel edgy myself

OP posts:
Lucia574 · 13/06/2023 18:00

Insist on bags bring left in a room inside the house. Then be quite visible and unpredictable in how often you pop into the garden.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 13/06/2023 18:13

I think you are overreacting a bit here. Some kids may try to sneak some in, but usually at that age they aren’t very good at the actual sneaking part. Keep an eye out, tell your DD she can pass you a quiet word if she notices it and confiscate whatever you might find.

Nobody is going to accuse you of throwing a ranger for 12 year olds if you take sensible precautions and react sensibly if you notice something amiss.

SammyScrounge · 13/06/2023 22:24

I don't believe all the other parents are as ok with this as the children are claiming. It's amazing that they still think 'my mum lets me..(.swear, drink stay out to 2.o clock in the morning etc etc)works to convince you to do the same. You might call their bluff and phone their parents.

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