Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not care about her blood pressure?

36 replies

IDontNeedYourMedicalDetails · 13/06/2023 14:09

I have a friend who lives at the other end of the country so we mostly talk online. When I ask her how she usually posts her blood pressure and often blood sugars(She has type 2 diabetes). I'm not a Dr. I neither know nor care what the numbers mean. I care about how she is but she can tell me that.

She'll just randomly post the figures in the middle of a conversation too. With no explanation. It's driving me crazy. Asking her to stop doesn't help. AIBU to stop asking her how she is?

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 13/06/2023 14:12

I'd just ignore it, rude possibly, but so is she!

Original poster
IDontNeedYourMedicalDetails · 13/06/2023 14:13

I do try to ignore it but she'll randomly post it again later. It's probably annoying me more than it should but I'm no a Dr. Why is she telling me?

OP posts:
Newname2323 · 13/06/2023 14:15

Sounds like she wants sympathy, weird way of telling someone how you are. Just say I'm not a doctor, please stop sending me your blood pressure results.

MichelleScarn · 13/06/2023 14:15

Poss because she's trying to drive you to mention it, so she can then launch into all about it? (From my experience!)

RhosynBach · 13/06/2023 14:18

I think it’s attention seeking. Post a random health stat of your own back

7Worfs · 13/06/2023 14:19

Massively annoying, and also sad. It seems she thinks that’s the most interesting thing about her.

LIZS · 13/06/2023 14:24

Respond bluntly that you are not trained to interpret her results. Then change the subject,

Original poster
IDontNeedYourMedicalDetails · 13/06/2023 14:30

I think it’s attention seeking. Post a random health stat of your own back

It definitely is and I might start doing that. I always start the conversation by asking how she is and listen and express sympathy if she's having a bad day so there's no need to tell me her results.

She's very much an attention seeker generally. We were talking with a friend whose 4 year old had cancer and was having an extremely hard time with treatment and she said(more than once in subsequent conversations). I was feeling bad earlier too then tried to change the subject to talking about her diabetes. We'd only been talking for 5 minutes also so it's not as if it was the entire conversation.

OP posts:
Tryagainplease · 13/06/2023 14:33

IDontNeedYourMedicalDetails · 13/06/2023 14:30

I think it’s attention seeking. Post a random health stat of your own back

It definitely is and I might start doing that. I always start the conversation by asking how she is and listen and express sympathy if she's having a bad day so there's no need to tell me her results.

She's very much an attention seeker generally. We were talking with a friend whose 4 year old had cancer and was having an extremely hard time with treatment and she said(more than once in subsequent conversations). I was feeling bad earlier too then tried to change the subject to talking about her diabetes. We'd only been talking for 5 minutes also so it's not as if it was the entire conversation.

Wow. That’s really self-centred!

Sounds like she is definitely attention seeking. I would ignore all further messages with her health stats on and only reply to the other stuff and hope she gets the hint.
Does she ever ask you how you are?

Carrusa · 13/06/2023 14:35

Trouble is, if you say you don't understand the figures, she will probably explain in great detail, which will be very boring and remove it as an excuse.

I think just keep ignoring.

Maybe ask how she feels instead of how she is? No one can feel 160/90.

mycoffeecup · 13/06/2023 14:37

Next time I'd say "think you posted that by mistake, I'm not medical" - repeat every time she posts medical stuff

10HailMarys · 13/06/2023 14:38

Oh god, she’s one of those people who has made her illness into her hobby, isn’t she?

I would definitely tell her that she is wasting her time sharing these numbers with you, because they are meaningless to you and you are already aware of her diabetes and have sympathised. I would also be asking myself what I was actually getting out of the friendship.

VenusClapTrap · 13/06/2023 14:40

Oh god I have a friend who used to do this, except it was the blood stats for her diabetic dog. I just used to ignore it, as did everyone else it seemed. So I don’t know what she got out of it. Dog is dead now, so it’s stopped. There is just a lot of reminiscing about dog now, but at least that’s stuff you can at least relate to, rather than just meaningless numbers.

SchnitzelvonKrummWithAVeryLowTum · 13/06/2023 14:41

look up the Bristol stool chart and respond with a commentary of your movements 💩

Tryagainplease · 13/06/2023 14:43

SchnitzelvonKrummWithAVeryLowTum · 13/06/2023 14:41

look up the Bristol stool chart and respond with a commentary of your movements 💩

Forget my suggestion - you should definitely do this.

Aintshesweet · 13/06/2023 14:45

Also, change the way you start the conversation. Don’t do what you’ve always done i.e ‘Hi Gloria, how are you?’. Instead say ‘Hi Gloria, I must tell you about the funny thing that happened today ……, (tell her). Then, tell me about the best thing that’s happened to you since we last spoke? Etc

Original poster
IDontNeedYourMedicalDetails · 13/06/2023 14:47

Thanks for all the tips. I might have to try some of them starting with the stool chart. Grin

OP posts:
coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 13/06/2023 14:48

SchnitzelvonKrummWithAVeryLowTum · 13/06/2023 14:41

look up the Bristol stool chart and respond with a commentary of your movements 💩

Please start doing this Grin

MrsClatterbuck · 13/06/2023 14:50

SchnitzelvonKrummWithAVeryLowTum · 13/06/2023 14:41

look up the Bristol stool chart and respond with a commentary of your movements 💩

😅😅
Definitely do this

CurzonDax · 13/06/2023 14:53

Oh dear - I've burst out laughing (rather loudly) reading this.

I am a type 1 diabetic (and also happen to be on blood pressure tablets). I've never dream of doing this to any of my friends, and if I did, they'd probably be like, "Err - WTF?"

The only person who cares about my glucose readings is my DH (and he follows me on the LibreApp), because he is the one who runs up to check on me/with snacks if my low alarm goes off.

Oh, please tell me she has a CG</FGM (glucose sensors) - I know she's a type 2, but she may use one. She's start offering you to 'follow' her on the app soon, so you can have her readings every 5 minutes. 😂😂

Irked · 13/06/2023 14:54

If you don't know what the numbers mean, aren't you curious to find out? What is stopping you from googling what the numbers should be so that you have an idea of whether she is telling you she is ok or at death's door? Perhaps it is difficult for her to put into words how she is feeling and it is easier to screenshot some numbers than it is to elaborate.

Original poster
IDontNeedYourMedicalDetails · 13/06/2023 14:57

No I don't care about the numbers. I did put it into a blood pressure calculator once and it showed as perfectly healthy. I've no interest in doing so every time and she has absolutely no trouble in telling me in great detail how she is when she eventually gets to the point. I do think it is just an attention seeking thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
IDontNeedYourMedicalDetails · 13/06/2023 14:59

Oh, please tell me she has a CG</FGM (glucose sensors) - I know she's a type 2, but she may use one. She's start offering you to 'follow' her on the app soon, so you can have her readings every 5 minutes.

Oh no. I hope not. That probably will be next.

OP posts:
greenspaces4peace · 13/06/2023 14:59

I have a friend who’s focus is her bowels!
I delete that section of the convo, and move on totally ignoring the “inappropriate bits”.
switch to shopping, reading, family etc
i don’t in any way add to medical conversations.

HRTeatime · 13/06/2023 15:05

How long has she been diagnosed op? If it’s not all that long then I can see how it might be all consuming for her. It’s a really shit long term condition to have (none of them are good, but with diabetes literally everything you do or don’t do will have an effect on your glucose control, and you live knowing if you don’t keep it great you are increasing your risk of things like stroke, heart attack, kidney failure, blindness, lower limb amputation).