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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Reins on 4 year old?

42 replies

Holidayti · 12/06/2023 13:22

Just turned four year old dd, not a runner or a wanderer, happy to hold hands nicely (tells me off if I don't hold her hand). But we're going on holiday next week to a busy unfamiliar place and she's extremely trusting and will talk to any adult she meets, we're working on that but is she too old for me to use a wrist strap rein for the week to while my hands are distracted buying ice cream or whatever?

OP posts:
shakeitoffsis · 12/06/2023 13:28

I wouldn't.

Maray1967 · 12/06/2023 13:31

No, not at all - use them. If there is anyone looking to entice a child away he/she/they will ignore the ones who are in reins/straps.

I certainly had mine in them at well past third birthday.

Awumminnscotland · 12/06/2023 13:32

If day don't do something or not do something based on an arbitrary reason of age. If you feel it could help keep your child safe and give you a bit of peace of mind, even if it's just until you feel more settled then do it.

cocksstrideintheevening · 12/06/2023 13:33

I wouldn't. I have no issues with reins they were a godsend for Dts but at 4 holding hands should be enough.

Awumminnscotland · 12/06/2023 13:33

That should read, "I'd say"

Skinnermarink · 12/06/2023 13:37

I wouldn’t think a child snatcher is going to lure her away while she’s standing next to you buying ice cream! She’s old enough to have a firm chat about boundaries and dos and dont’s while away.

But if it gives you peace of mind it’s no one’s decision but yours.

x2boys · 12/06/2023 13:41

If it keeps her safe and gives you peace of mind than fine
What about those reins that or on a,back pack?

MaxwellCat · 12/06/2023 13:44

I wouldn’t with my child no…

ReadtheReviews · 12/06/2023 13:46

Soft toy back pack with reins better than wrist one. Doesn't look so odd and imagine it feels less annoying.

Somethingsnappy · 12/06/2023 13:48

I do think that a neurotypical 4 year old is too old for reigns, especially one who sounds sensible, as you've just described your dd. That said, I wouldn't look twice or judge anyone if I saw it. It's your decision, and if it'll make you feel better, go ahead. You might take them, and decide whilst your away that you're happy without them after all anyway.

Somethingsnappy · 12/06/2023 13:49

Reins!

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 12/06/2023 13:50

One of the backpacks with strap would be a good compromise

shadowchancesassy · 12/06/2023 13:55

I would. My DD's 6 and I'd use them for her. I lost my other dd years ago at a busy place, the panic was just awful and when I'd found her I vomited. Better to be safe than sorry I'd say.

Bohemianneatfreak · 12/06/2023 13:55

I recently used mine for my 4 year old. She was being really naughty and kept running off near roads. If it helps keep them safe then why not. I don’t use them regularly but if I need to I will. In a busy place it’s probably a good idea, especially the wrist ones

Hihihihihihihihihi · 12/06/2023 14:00

I wouldn't no - I have a 4 year old and couldn't imaging using them

BogRollBOGOF · 12/06/2023 14:07

We used a backpack with strap on a trip to London where it was busier than the places he's used to. My main concern was that it's easy to get separated in a crowd and drift apart, and it was a very unfamilar environment to him. He was quite happy with the arrangement.

Not optional for his younger 3yo brother who'd recently caused panic on a bolt. That was his last one and he alarmed himself, but we didn't know that then.

Redebs · 12/06/2023 14:10

Holidayti · 12/06/2023 13:22

Just turned four year old dd, not a runner or a wanderer, happy to hold hands nicely (tells me off if I don't hold her hand). But we're going on holiday next week to a busy unfamiliar place and she's extremely trusting and will talk to any adult she meets, we're working on that but is she too old for me to use a wrist strap rein for the week to while my hands are distracted buying ice cream or whatever?

Excellent idea.
I used them on mine in similar situations and never lost a single child 😊

Have a lovely holiday🌟

CrushOnJonah · 12/06/2023 14:10

Yes I'd definitely use them. For those who are saying they wouldn't, why not? 4 is still very little and it's a busy, unfamiliar place. It's just extra peace of mind.

YorkshireIndie · 12/06/2023 14:17

I would go for the backpack with the reins. If it gives you peace of mind then I would do it

There is no harm in putting measures in place as a just in case

StillMedusa · 12/06/2023 14:21

I'd use them.
I used them with one of my children (a bolter) and now I use them with my grandson who is only 2 but again, an escape artist...and I'll use them until I feel he's safe.
I've had comments that it's like having my dog on a lead... yes! For the same reasons... I want them both to be safe (and frankly my dog has better recall Grin)

Carrusa · 12/06/2023 14:29

I think it's a good idea. I would always prefer actual reins with a toddler, but at this age the wrist strap it seems a good middle ground.

Highfivemum · 12/06/2023 14:32

if It makes you feel better than do it. Over cautions is better than under. I still grab the hands of my 12 year old when in a busy place. Can’t help it and they don’t mind.

ZZpop · 12/06/2023 14:34

A backpack with strap may be better and less irritating to your daughter. DS with an much older still uses reins but has always disliked wrist straps.

Rubyupbeat · 12/06/2023 14:43

My son was a runner , he is also Deaf, not a good combination, so I kept reins in my bag until he was around 6, they were a very good deterrent

Pusillanimouswitch · 12/06/2023 14:45

My son has ADHD, he had backpack reins til around 6 - he was a bolter and once he spotted something he wanted to go and look at, he was deaf to everyone. He was also happy to approach and talk to anyone he felt like! So he had his backpack, a few people commented but I couldn’t care less, it was a real risk management strategy for him!

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