Go to the Wedding, yes or no?

[Bluebells75]

DH has a friend who he meets for lunch once a month. More of an acquaintance really. The guy doesn't seem to have much of a social circle/quite insular.

Last night we received a WhatsApp (Group msg) inviting us to his wedding in September. It states ceremony only, no meal or evening do. Only a meal for close family who have travelled. The couple would prefer to meet with friends individually after their honeymoon for a personal pub lunch.
It's on a weekday, so would require us using annual leave.

DH has been good to this chap and helped him a few times with various things, but he is never reciprocal when DH needs a hand with something- just a load of lame excuses.

I think we should make our excuses. If he was a good friend or had been good to DH I'd make the effort, but ad it stands he never puts himself out, so I'm reluctant.

So, my question is, would you go to the wedding or not? AIBU

What does your DH want to do? It’s his friend. Once a month sounds like more then acquaintance to me!

if you / both of you don’t want to go, just say you don’t have any leave left.

You could say you have another engagement that particular day and just send card and small gift. I agree it seems a bit much to use a day for the ceremony and you’re not invited for the full day.

A WhatsApp invitation for ceremony only on a weekday from an acquaintance?

That's a no from me.

I've got better things to do with my AL.

Could DH go on his own if he's keen.

I don't think you get to decide whether your DH goes to a friend's wedding. You can make your excuses and not go if you like. Are you against DH going on his own?

Give your excuses but say you’re happy to attend the meet up after honeymoon. Send card/gift.

Why are you asking randoms on the internet?
It is your husband's friend. He can decide if the wants to attend or not. Make your own excuses if you're so bothered.

It's up to your DH whether he attends surely? You don't know this man so it doesn't matter if you go or not.

I wouldn't waste a day's annual leave for wedding with no food or booze. Its up to your DP whether he goes or not.

I wouldn't go, I'd politely apologise now for not being able to attend.

No

But DH can if he wants

What?

You can't invite people to a wedding and not feed them!

Nope!

I'd choose not to go and I'd let DH decide for himself whether he wanted to attend,

If they are lunching once a month he is more than an acquaintance to your DH. Let him go if he wants. Your clearly not feeling it so don't bother.

I have to say once a month is more than an acquaintance. I don’t see my own mother once a month!

I wouldn’t go if it was me. DH can decide for himself.

Absolutely not. Just send them a card and wish them well.

Personally I would go but treat it as a child free treat day with a wedding in the middle so book a really nice restaurant either before or after and have a lovely couples day

Because WE are unsure if its unkind not to go. MN is usually helpful for an outsiders opinion. Thanks for yours, you sound nice😄😄😄

My thoughts exactly 😆

Not at all, but generally we would attend a wedding as a couple. We just wondered if others would go is all, no biggie!

How far away is it? The wedding vows are the important bit for me. So if it was just down the road I would go. If it was 4 hours away I wouldn’t. If it was some where you could have a nice day with a wedding in part of it I would consider it