Wedding gift - less of an AIBU, more a WWYD

[MKCH]

I am getting married in a few weeks.

A close family member has (incredibly generously) paid for my wedding flowers.

A very close family friend (second mum type scenario) has said that she wants to pay for my bouquet, and has asked for the amount and my bank details.

For reference - wedding flowers total were +/-£800, bouquet alone (but within that £800ish) £150.

Wedding flowers total have already been paid direct to supplier by close family member.

To be clear, second mum did mention this months ago at about the same time that family member said they would pay for all wedding flowers. Family member has just acted sooner.

Would you -
a. Graciously accept money for bouquet, use it towards overall wedding costs
b. Tell second mum that flowers already paid for, thank her so much for incredibly kind gesture and suggest if she still wants to contribute, I use the money towards something I've paid for myself (I don't know - confetti, wedding shoes (although they only cost me £25!), groom & groomsmen buttonholes?! (I paid for those separately).
c. Accept money for bouquet but give it to family member to pay them back that portion of what they paid for overall flowers

Part of me thinks well take the money, it's just a gift with a material label on it, part of me hates the idea of being dishonest.

Personally I’d do B. Thank them but state it’s already been covered. However if she’d like to contribute elsewhere it would be very welcome

I would go with b

you don't want them both declaring they bought your flowers at the reception!

why don't you do a "gosh what a lovely offer. A family friend has already very kindly paid for my flowers but I've seen a bouquet preservation service that I would love if i can show it to you?" Or something?

Option B

I would be honest and go with B

Thank her for her generosity and it is very likely she will offer to cover the cost of something else instead

B

B

Honesty is always the best policy.

B

Yeah I'd go for B, better to be honest. If she really wants to contribute then it's likely she will offer to cover the cost of something else

a - unacceptable and dishonest
b - best option, but I personally wouldn't suggest she continues to make the contribution elsewhere, I would leave it open for her to suggest that if she wants to. Perhaps she would only want to pay for flowers so you would put her in an awkward situation if you are her to pay for confetti for example
c - feels a little underhand

Always best to be honest, imagine you got caught out! So option B!

Option B.

Friend obviously want to pay for something significant - maybe cake? Some part of honeymoon? Dress?

You cannot take the money under the pretence that you've spent it on flowers

"B, that's so generous, but all of my flowers have been gifted by A. I appreciate your offer x"

Then B may come back and offer to oay for something else instead.

Absolutely this! It's a bit grabby to proactively suggest the money goes to something else!

B

Definitely B

B , it’s really the only option

To Be or not to Be! Definitely B.😀

Totally agree.

Another B.

It's bound to come out that all the flowers were paid by one person. You don't want upset anyone

You're all definitely in line with what my conscience is telling me.

It will be an awkward conversation, as when she first said it, it was a very direct 'I want to pay for your flowers' and I told her that it was incredibly kind but totally unnecessary of course, but thank you.

I've seen her since and I've not mentioned to her that my family member has since paid for all the flowers.

So it's totally my fault it's awkward.

I wouldn't outright suggest she paid for something else, but more pondering what she could pay for, if she asked. We don't have a wedding cake (well, we have scones and jam and cream?!), my shoes were cheap, my mum's paid for my dress, and everything else is really bloody expensive (entertainment, food, toast fizz, etc etc). So I'm just in a pickle, basically trying not to hurt her feelings by saying thanks but no thanks! (Hence why I said suggesting something else - not in a grabby way, more of an appreciating the gesture sort of way).

I'm surprised you would consider A to be honest.

@Thatsnotmyname223
I wouldn't really. I couldn't do that. It's what I'd see as the easy way out, but not something I could live with.