To not join in with this on Fathers Day

[longerspring]

Parents have invited me and my sister, our DHs and DN for a meal this year to celebrate Fathers Day. Sister is passive aggressive and unpleasant to put it mildly, loves the spotlight on her and hers and neither of us enjoy time in her company in fact often leave feeling rubbish. Fathers Day is my only day off next weekend and I don’t want to spend it in a pub restaurant. We lost a pregnancy recently and nobody but DM knows about that and she seems not to really understand how that can hurt on days like that.

Wondering if we are BU not going considering all this, as DH would be the only one there not to be a father yet himself and we’ll make it up to dad by taking him out for dinner another time and will take round card and his favourite ale anyway as we live in the next town

There’s guaranteed to be judgement if we opt out of this and I don’t want dad to feel disappointed, he’s great but I’d just prefer to celebrate separately. Is it reasonable to leave them to it? Probably overthinking this

I find this a liberating quote, as someone who had a very critical parent and who has often felt she has to fight the world.
I follow this lady on Instagram-you may find her helpful
https://instagram.com/peaceful_barb?igshid=YmM0MjE2YWMzOA==

YABU, it's not your day.

I would do it for your dad's sake. It's one meal and if he is a good dad and it would give him a bit of pleasure then I could put up with the sister for a few hours.

You dont mention your DF?
Surely it is about him- not everyone else?

Call them on Friday with a well-timed tummy flu and beg off. Say you both have it. Sorry for your loss.

I know this is a bit late and hopefully OP got things over peacefully.

I'm very lucky that both my adult daughters get on very well, but I realise not everyone is in that situation.

This Father's Day both my daughters had other things planned with their families. Was I disappointed or upset? Of course not. Father's Day yet another made-up 'celebration' designed to cost people money (sometimes through guilt). And if my daughter didn't get on I'd know and would not pressurise them into attending together anyway.

It's bit like all the wedding invite threads you see where the general answer is it's an invite not a summons.

I see my daughters regularly and don't feel the need to set aside a day decided by card companies etc. when they have their own families.

@longerspring

Hope you and your OH are ok.