Christening for a 6 yo and 1 yo?

[LillyCandC]

So… we haven’t christened our 6 year old because he was an awfully difficult baby for the first year, then we lived abroad and then Covid came around etc etc… now he has a sister who turned one this week. I want to do a joint christening for both my DS and DD in August when weather is guaranteed to be warm and people tend to be less busy as we have friends and family all over the country.
however my DH thinks it’s a silly idea and I’m just going to throw money away plus ‘no one Christens a 6 year old’. What do you all think?

YBU - your DH is right, there’s no point now
YNBU - christening should go ahead

Are you regular church goers? You could always let the children decide when they are adults if they want to be christened. No reason a 6yr can't be christened though- why couldn't they?

SIL got christened herself on the same day as her 2 children.

I don’t think the age matters but are you practicing Christians, attend church regularly etc? If not, I wouldn’t do any christening, it’s a religious ceremony not just a party

We got our 2 ds's christened when they were 9 months and 3 1/2. Luckily we only had a few close family members present because the 3 year old had a big tantrum and refused to go anywhere near the font. I still have nightmares about that day!

@CC4712 I wouldn’t say we’re regular church goers. We definitely go twice a year - Easter service and Christmas service. We both believe in God but we’re not overly dogmatic. So there’s still a part of me for example that says I would like my babies to be christened and I would like our f&f to be around to witness it. DS also goes to CofE school so they talk quite a bit about the Bible there so we have quite a few chats with him about all sorts of Christian topics.

Does the 6 year old believe in God?

We christened our DCs last year at 7, 5 and 3; would have done it earlier but for Covid. Both DP and I are from Christian families and it was important to us. No one batted an eyelid at their ages and it was a lovely day

At six years old, I would leave it a few years until he is able to make a decision for himself.

@Lcb123 completely agree about it being a religious ceremony. I think this is where we got caught out though - there’s an expectation from my DH’s family that there will be a party afterwards. I would have been fine with the small ceremony with just God parents and us there. Whereas DH seem to think it would cause an issue. So now we’re finally in position to do it financially.

@Tree543 haha oh dear 🙈

What about a blessing rather than a Christening, if DH isn’t keen on the latter? It’s a way of welcoming your children into the church without the commitments of baptism, so often more appropriate if you aren’t particularly practicing Christians or regular church-goers. Then a nice summer barbecue get together for friends and family who’ve attended afterwards in your garden. Minimal fuss, little expense.

Yes I'm think at 6 he's nearly old enough to declare his own faith

A christening doesn't have to cost anything. Apart from a donation to the church, if you feel inclined. Since the older one is 6 and already on school. You won't get accused of doing it just for a school place!

@NannyR @rightioly he told me earlier this year that he would like to be baptised one day

My DD's went to a Catholic ex-convent and weren't Christened. They don't need to be Christened to be able to explore religion. DD2 is doing a masters in Theology, still doesn't believe in Religion!

@SydneyCarton ah, great to know, thank you! I actually think it’s nice that older children understand what’s happening during baptism and that they can remember the day too. I myself was christened at 7 because my DP were atheists and turned to God later in life.

Most faith schools require infant baptism.

When you get your child christened, you declare that you believe and trust in God and promise to bring your child/ren up in the Christian faith. If you don't believe and aren't going to stick to that promise then don't get them baptised.

@ComtesseDeSpair i will look into that thanks! ☺️

If you want to get the children christened, go for it. If you want a party as well, why not? I like parties, so in my view, anything is an excuse for a party!

@CurlewKate not our school and they are quite connected with the church is our village

@StaySpicy well, you say that - I’ve been to 7 Christenings so far and I’m a god mother to a child. However, none of their parents are particularly religious. Many people view it as ‘traditional’ thing like a church wedding.

It's just an excuse for pretty photos and a party for some. Whereas there's a religious ceremony at its heart. As a Christian, it saddens me to see parents and godparents make these promises in the eyes of God they have no intention of keeping.

People wouldn't rock up to a synagogue and expect their son could have a Bar Mitzvah if they weren't Jewish. Yet somehow, having a CofE baptism is an as fair game.

My MIL is a CofE priest and last week baptised a lady in her 30s. She’s sat next to me now saying please do this, it would be lovely and such a nice moment for the siblings to share.

But even pretty secular Jews generally have a Bar Mitzvah/Bat Mitzvah for their children. I've been to lots!

Op I'd speak with the church esp over the 6yo. Might be better for them to make up their own mind.

We are both believers but honestly find church boring. We had our oldest christened with good intentions of becoming church goers but...
Then the youngest came along and it seemed hypocritical to have them christened.

LO is now 6, and I really feel they would need to be on-board with the idea it's not something I could force them into

I think you should christen both or neither of them, regardless of age.

As it turns out, I am not religious now, but as a child, my parents allowed my younger sister to take first holy communion but not me and I have never understood why. I was at a catholic school in the 1970s, desperate to take holy communion and being the only child not doing so in my year was humiliating and made me the odd one out. Incidentally they didn’t bother to baptise me until they baptised my sister as a baby and then I was baptised at the same time when I was about three or four, I guess that was something.