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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give notice to lodger

76 replies

Ramiblue · 11/06/2023 09:45

Morning

A bit of a dilemma. My lodger has been with me a while, we get on well and rent is paid on time, no issues on cleaning etc.

However 6 months ago they went part time into a fully remote job with family financial assistance. So they are living in a small 2 bed flat with me ( I work from home 3 days a week) and are now here 24/7.

I'm now feeling like we are getting on top of each other and having someone here all the time is a bit wearing.

When they moved in they had a ft job out the flat, I don't know why they decided to do part time 16 hours a week fully remote, its not health related, I think just a slower pace maybe but not sure.

I read on here that a good lodger is worth keeping , but I don't think I can do another 6 months of someone always here, I now have to work in my bedroom on a pop up desk, whereas before I could work in the lounge!

So although the money is handy and company is nice now and again I am really thinking of giving notice, and having a break from anyone being here

OP posts:
Rightiothen13 · 11/06/2023 10:23

Ramiblue · 11/06/2023 10:07

No benefits, now get an allowance from family

Show quote history

Why did they give up work to do 2 days a week? Presumably quite young?

Rightiothen13 · 11/06/2023 10:24

Ramiblue · 11/06/2023 10:07

No benefits, now get an allowance from family

Show quote history

Not much if they can’t afford a coffee

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/06/2023 10:24

It's clearly impacting your well-being and enjoyment of home- that's enough reason to ask them to leave! You sound kind and thoughtful and I'm sure you will give lots of notice to them. You can simply say you don't need a lodger any more and want. The space for visiting friends etc

Rightiothen13 · 11/06/2023 10:25

A two bed small flat and you WFH full time…. It really doesn’t sound like a lodger is for you

Carrusa · 11/06/2023 10:30

That's the deal with a lodger, it's your space and you can ask them to leave. No need to feel bad about it.

But it's ridiculous they are pushing you out of your own living room in the working day. It's not really your problem but you could offer them the option of staying on the understanding the living room is yours then. Whether they work from their bedroom, or convince their employer to let them go to an office, or move out, is up to them. If it helps in the conversation, they've already had a long turn using the living room as a workspace, you've been more than generous but now it's your turn.

olympicsrock · 11/06/2023 10:30

You seem to be bending over backwards to make things nice for your lodger. She is lucky to have equal access to the living room.

I think you need your home back. Her lifestyle is not compatible with your home and lifestyle any more . It’s not personal.

I think you need to put yourself first and not be a doormat.

PinkFootstool · 11/06/2023 10:49

Ramiblue · 11/06/2023 10:19

Ah, because she is not working, she is relaxing

If I take over the lounge 3 days a week then she would have to be in her room which seems a bit unfair!

Show quote history

It's not unfair, it's part of being a lodger - YOU own the house, not her.

Give her notice and any future lodgers you have, I'd stipulate that WFH is not permitted as part of the tenancy agreement. Your home isn't big enough for that.

Original poster
Ramiblue · 11/06/2023 11:03

Thanks to everyone who has replied, I am going to give notice and I think if get another lodger only take someone who works hybrid or in an office, but absolutely not 100% from home, flat is not big enough

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 11/06/2023 11:08

YANBU.

Many ads for lodgers and sharers now have a clear condition that the room is not suitable for anyone who WFH. I manage staff who don't WFH for this reason, and I think it will be an increasing issue in the future.

WaterIris · 11/06/2023 11:21

Have a chat with her first.

Tell her the flat is not big enough for a lodger who 100% WFH. Tell her that you are giving her the option of considering whether she wants to change her arrangements so she is not in the flat all day. Or if she doesn't want to do that then you'll give notice, and she can find somewhere better suited to her new lifestyle.

Kiwano · 11/06/2023 11:23

Ramiblue · 11/06/2023 10:19

Ah, because she is not working, she is relaxing

If I take over the lounge 3 days a week then she would have to be in her room which seems a bit unfair!

Show quote history

Tough, really. She isn't paying for 24 hour uninterrupted access to the lounge, is she?

FredaFox · 11/06/2023 11:28

Is she a lodger or flatmate? Isn't there a difference something like a lodger is only renting the bedroom
Where the other has equal access? I'm
sure I've read it on here

ThanksHunPenneys · 11/06/2023 11:36

If I take over the lounge 3 days a week then she would have to be in her room which seems a bit unfair
But it may make her rethink working part-time, solely from home, and never leaving the house.
Have the conversation and see if there's compromise.

Crimeismymiddlename · 11/06/2023 11:37

Give notice. That would drive me mad.
Its a long time since I rented rooms but I remember more than a few had it in the contract that a tenant had to be full time employees, and a few that I looked at said it was Monday to Friday only so if you decide to take a lodger again just change to the contract to full time out of the home job.

Florissant · 11/06/2023 11:39

You've made the right decision, OP. The current setup isn't working for you so the lodger has to go.

Original poster
Ramiblue · 11/06/2023 12:15

FredaFox · 11/06/2023 11:28

Is she a lodger or flatmate? Isn't there a difference something like a lodger is only renting the bedroom
Where the other has equal access? I'm
sure I've read it on here

Hi, she is a lodger, as I own the flat

Since she went part time, even with family help she doesn't have alot of spare cash , so I don't feel I can ask her to go out more in the day, her work is remote and doesn't have an office

Made up my mind to give notice and explain why. She would be better in a house share or somewhere she can be home all day without someone else there

OP posts:
melj1213 · 11/06/2023 12:18

YANBU, you took on a lodger on the understanding they would be out of the house at their FT job more often than they were home because that suited your needs as a PT WFH landlord. Now their circumstances have changed your needs - for someone to be out of the house more than they are at home, and when they are at home they don't take over the living space - are no longer being met and so you need to change that.

Unless the lodger gets a new FT job, agrees to vacate the house for the equivalent of full time hours, or spends their free time in their room and not the living room that you need to work in then they need to find somewhere else to live.

StillWantingADog · 11/06/2023 12:20

I’ve had lodgers and this situation is def quite awkward

yeah you need to give her notice. You could have a chat with her first but it doesn’t look like the situation is easily changeable- for example if she did have an office she could go to.

if you get another one I think it’s fine to stipulate that you only want someone that works away from home most of the time.
because, as you point out, the flat just isn’t big enough for two around all the time.

Hellokittymania · 11/06/2023 12:41

Is there a library nearby that she could maybe go to and do some work from there? That wouldn’t cost anything. Or

Is there a library nearby that she could maybe go to and do some work from there? That wouldn’t cost anything. Or even maybe check on I have a disability, and was a full-time student doing a course online for It is doable, even if you don’t have a massive income, you just have to be creative, not everyone is willing to do that though. It is doable, even if you don’t have a massive income, you just have to be creative, not everyone is willing to do that though. Just throwing I need my own space though, and this would drive me crazy if someone was there all the time.

Porkipye · 11/06/2023 12:43

Ramiblue · 11/06/2023 09:49

Thanks for replies, they only work 2 days a week, so five days a week in the flat watching tv cooking etc, a desk in their room wouldn't change that.

Sometimes I am just desperate to have place to myself I think even though its their home as well.

Sounds harsh but it's not their home . It's yours . Keep that in mind always . Your home .

Badbudgeter · 11/06/2023 12:47

I’d ask them to leave. A lodger is supposed to be convenient for everyone. They get a place to live with out tying themselves to a tenancy, you get extra money.

determinedtomakethiswork · 11/06/2023 12:57

So she went part time and now gets help from her family? Are they crazy?

AmeliaWarnerBros · 11/06/2023 12:59

Ex-lodger here, & I get where you're coming from, OP. I once worked only p/t- in a similar situation to your lady- & made it my business to be out as much as possible as I didn't want to spend too much time inside or with my weird WFH landlord. He liked a good chat (possibly a hint to get me out which I took!).

Briefly I also once did a long-term Airbnb with someone who just wouldn't piss off & go out anywhere. I had to keep hiding from her, & going for long walks to be alone.

As a ND person I actually love to be alone & out & about walking around which makes me a dream lodger; however yours sounds different & you probably need to get rid.

croft89 · 11/06/2023 13:05

Sounds suffocating

I'd serve them their notice and if you take somebody else on get it written in to the contract that they can only wfh a certain number of days a week

Your lodger sounds like a recluse

Zonder · 11/06/2023 13:17

Good move OP. This situation no longer works for you and it is your home so time to end it.