Sound sensitivity

[Newuser82]

I'm just wondering if everyone can help me with this question that I was wondering yesterday.

My son is awaiting an autism assessment. He has already been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and has on occasion been very sensitive to sounds and not liked busy places etc.

This was more of an issue when he was younger and suffering from quite bad anxiety. It seemed to pretty much go away but has since returned when he has recently become more anxious again.

We were at an event yesterday. Outdoor place but with lots of people and fairly loud. He complained that the noise was affecting him. He was a bit anxious anyway in this place for other reasons.

We then went to a concert last night. He was totally fine. Didn't mention noise once and it was a massive concert with around 50,000 people there.

My husband thinks that if he is fine at concerts etc then he can't possibly be not fine at other places.

My theory is that if he is already anxious then the added input of lots of noise is just too much for him and so in that situation he can't cope with it. This would explain why he didn't really mention noise for those few years when the anxiety wasn't so bad but that's just a theory so I'd be interested in knowing if this is the case with other people. Thanks!

I don't know specifically the reason but my DS certainly was worse in some scenarios than others. Ds1 was fine with a crowd like at a football match but the Dyson hand dryers in shopping centres could push him over the edge.

I also worked with a little boy in pre school undiagnosed but definitely had some sort of auditory sensory processing issue. Some days he couldn't cope with the general noise and would melt down, somedays he was fine.

I think tiredness is a factor and a general build up eventually leading to feeling overwhelmed.

Your husband is wrong.

Stress & anxiety heighten our arousal levels meaning we are much more likely to be flooded by the sensory environment. If our bodies go into fight/flight/freeze (stress response) mode then we are wired to prepare our bodies to quickly get out of there - taking in MORE sensory input. So if your son is auditory defensive and is more sensitive to noise, then during the stressful or anxious situations he’s going to be much more flooded and unable to drown out the noises then he would be if his arousal level was lower.

Also, neurodiverse individuals have a canny way of masking based on their special interests. So chances are at the concert it was a special interest, his anxiety levels were reduced, it was predictable noise (eg the band playing their songs he is familiar with)
Whereas at the event yesterday, what noises were going on? People chatting, different levels of background noise, dogs barking, traffic noises, kids screaming? All of these noises are very different when layered over each other and very unpredictable compared to one big constant noise if that makes sense?

The outdoor event probably wasn’t as interesting for him and on top of that he’s got to process other sensory aspects of the environment - smells, touch, interoception (I presume it was hot weather where you were yesterday?)

Theres lots of free resources out there on sensory, videos, YouTube, and most LA have a local offer with parent/carer info.

It’s the number of layers of sound that can cause more problems than the volume. At a concert the music is so loud that it drowns out some of the general noise so you’re only really focusing on one layer of sound.

For me when I am at something like a concert i am ok because the main noise is the music I am there to listen to. There tends to be a lot less background noise (I do aim to only get to my seat just as it’s starting to avoid the pre noise!)

at an event like a fair my issue is the noise is coming from everywhere and I can’t sift things out so it all becomes overwhelming and I can’t focus on anything else.

My daughter is autistic. She loves the cinema, even very loud movies and I blowdry on full blast her hair no problem. However she covers her ears at the blender, hand dryer and hates the Alexa putting on music even at a low volume.

“My theory is that if he is already anxious then the added input of lots of noise is just too much for him and so in that situation he can't cope with it”.

Absolutely this. I’m an adult with autism and only just learning to manage this now. I also have autistic DC. All of us can do some things you’d think we wouldn’t be able to do (for example our hobby is very loud, and we all cope fine but we also went to an unrelated event yesterday and it was too loud). It’s also so hot at the moment it lowers my ability to cope with anything. It’s almost like I have a certain tolerance level for everything combined and if any of that is already being used by anxieties, the heat, hunger, tiredness etc then I’ll reach my maximum much quicker. If your DC was more comfortable at one event than another then it would make the noise more tolerable (I think anyway, I can only base on me and my DC).

This is very interesting, thanks everybody. It's also interesting mentioning the heat as it was very hot yesterday and he was complaining about that so that wouldn't have helped and that wasn't something I had considered.

The different types of sound etc all makes sense too. Thanks!

So does he just think your son is making it up most of the time? (And by any chance is he unsupportive of the diagnostic approach? Because that seems to be really normal for men for some reason.)

As others have said, stress, anxiety, sleep, and different sensory environments can all make a big difference to dealing with one factor, like noise. A concert is also extremely predictable which might have helped him to both expect what would come and deal with it.

Could you try taking ear defenders or noise reducing headphones out to general noisy places and see if he seems calmer?

Same for me. I find that if there's many different noises it just goes into one loud horrible noise.

Could I suggest more thing to think about if it's okay?

What if you start rephrasing statements like "he was complaining about the heat" into "he was saying it was too hot for him, it seemed to make it worse"?

I don't know if this quite makes sense, but "complaining" suggests someone whining, moaning or being annoying - and while I'm sure it is very irritating, he's just trying to communicate about a problem.

If you could mentally rephrase that sort of subtle feeling, then it might positively change the way you talk about problems and the way he thinks about them inside as he grows up.

I'm endlessly apologetic about my needs because I annoyed my parents and teachers so much as a child, but in retrospect, I wasn't being difficult, I just physically couldn't handle what everyone else could.

Thanks for this. I think I know what you are trying to say but I'm not sure it is entirely helpful. I never said anywhere that him complaining about the heat was in any way irritating. He was told off in any way for complaining about it. I have simply used the word complaining to mean that he was saying he was too hot and he didn't like it.

I asked him if he wanted to go home, he didn't. I took him into the shade, made sure he had plenty to drink, an ice lolly and a cap. The word complaining was never spoken out loud at all yesterday.

Like I said, I (maybe naively) haven't previously considered the heat as a sensory issue and will certainly do that going forward.

On a different note, with regards to my husband yes I do think he sometimes thinks he is either exaggerating or putting it on. I tried to explain my reasoning to him yesterday hence this post.

Wasn't told off!! Not was told off 🙈

Both myself and my daughter are noise sensitive. She struggles with the noise in school - unless she’s in music class, where she loves the sound of people playing various instruments, often badly, all at the same time. She loves music, although can’t play an instrument. I work in a very noisy environment which I love and I sing to help me cope with the noise.

That's really interesting to know, thank you.

My dd is ASD. Loves concerts.

Every other noise stresses her to death.

Your husband is wrong. Chosen sound and movement is preferable to non-chosen sound and movement. I cannot stand crowds and unpredictable sounds and/or uncontrollable sounds made by others (drilling/building noise/random shit people generally do). BUT at a chosen concert, I know the music I like, usually what most people will be doing will be similar to me - singing and dancing! - also most people are out to have a good time, so the vibe is better than your average shopping trip, so anxiety is less. That's not to say I won't be abit anxious - it's just alot better for me in that situation. Music is alos a massive stim for many autistics. I'm autistic and it's my number one go to for stress relief and I like it loud in my ears!