To request having the sound lowered?

[Freckles978]

Context:
At a family birthday BBQ, around 20 people. My brother loves having the volume up very loudly for parties, to the point the street can probably hear from the garden. I don't really like Loud noises, and have always had an issue with volume when he comes to visit. For example, I would be working from home and he would come and visit my mum and play extremely loud music. I would ask him to turn it down and he would respond respond by saying that the home was not meant for working. And this was during the pandemic in 2020 so literally no choice in going into the office.

Issue:
My brother's girlfriend's DS (5) was playing with the kareoke mic and had it on very loudly, with the mic sometimes making a load and tinging noise (like when you put your phone next to your computer). I have a DD (1), and felt that this sound could make her deaf, so I asked my brother if he can turn down the sound lightly so that the tinging isn't so bad, and he started to complain by saying that he can never have good time at family reunions, that music can't ever be played etc. k then went home early from the party and vowed to never go to a party he will be at again. I made sure he and everyone knew the reason I was leaving. I was going to stay at family member's home for the night, so due to him being annoying I left early.

What would you have done? Or how you have Reacted?

Why do you get to police what he does at his house. I'm guessing it's his house.
And the karaoke music was so loud it could make your child deaf ?
If that was the case you'd have neighbours, police other party goers complaining .
AND you made sure everyone knew he was the reason you were leaving ? Did they even care ?
Sounds like you are a bit of a buzz kill and don't like your brother very much

YANBU

Your brother is extremely selfish.

It wasn't his house, he is misogynistic and feels that children should live their parent's lives, rather than then accommodate any child.

Erm, that's not what misogynistic means..

However. I would have just turned it down slightly myself. Your child won't go deaf, but it won't do the sound system any good.

I think you have a deep-rooted issue with your brother. That's the problem, not the sound issues at the party.

You won't have done yourself any favours by flouncing out, and especially with telling everyone why you've flounced out.

I agree with him that homes are not for working and if you need office conditions then you go to an office. During the middle of the pandemic, people just had to be understanding if the fact that people were trying to wfh when they weren’t set up for it, and that might include noise from other family members.

That noise would not have made your baby deaf, so for that alone, you are being ridiculous. If you were concerned you should have moved the baby away.

You said you don’t like loud parties, so just don’t go to them. You can’t go to other people’s parties and then dictate the volume of the music.

Hearing can be damaged by loud music which initially causes tinnitus. Tinnitus is a sign that hearing is damaged.
Damaged hearing leads to deafness. If not immediately, certainly as a child or young person gets older if there is too much exposure.

Tinnitus is hateful and depressing. Being deaf, even with hearing aids, is miserable and can be isolating because socialising is a struggle and tiring esp’ in crowded places.

You are wise to keep your child away from loud music. This is why young people are told to reduce the volume in headphones.

I hope your mum lives in a detached house in the middle of nowhere? The neighbours must hate it when your ignorant anti social selfish sibling visits and loud music happens if it can be heard across the neighbourhood?

Do what you have to do to protect the hearing of your offspring as much as you can. Pay no heed to ignoramuses who treat you with disdain. Ask any audiologist.

These were exactly my thoughts! Thank you

I am constantly unplugging the base speaker in my house when we're having an outside day, I hate the vibrations, makes me feel sick!

He was being selfish, I'm assuming it was that loud that no one can really have a conversation

yanbu. I would do the same and never go to anything he is at. Nor would he be invited to me again

how sad he has to have loud music to enjoy himself

I hate music too loud as you can't talk.