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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a birth partner for my friend?

5 replies

B21dance · 10/06/2023 20:18

DH getting the hump about me being on call for my friend who went in to be induced today (she'd not actually due for 2 weeks)

I can't determine when she is going to give birth,she's being induced, it could be days!

We have DC 4&9

I did go away last weekend so he had kids all that weekend so this is where the AIBU but comes in, to essentially say I'm on call now for the next 24-48 hours

I've done everything for the kids today it's not like I'm sitting back clock watching

He seemed to be okay when I said you will need to cosleep with DD4 tonight as I may be needed for friend, but when I mentioned later if she doesn't have baby tonight I'll go in tomorrow

He doesn't want it to spill into another day it seems

AIBU to do this ??? With two young DC?

OP posts:
FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 10/06/2023 20:39

Your DH is being selfish. I assume you're doin* this for your friend because she doesn't have anyone else she can trust, ask him what he would want for you if he wasn't available to support you while you had his child.

Remind him that your friend is doing something physically and emotionally very difficult and needs support, he is just being asked to care for his own children for a few hours. It may be inconvenient for him but it's a short term thing and something he is more than capable of doing.

UpaladderwatchingTV · 10/06/2023 20:44

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 10/06/2023 20:39

Your DH is being selfish. I assume you're doin* this for your friend because she doesn't have anyone else she can trust, ask him what he would want for you if he wasn't available to support you while you had his child.

Remind him that your friend is doing something physically and emotionally very difficult and needs support, he is just being asked to care for his own children for a few hours. It may be inconvenient for him but it's a short term thing and something he is more than capable of doing.

Totally agree with this! Really pisses me off when men take this attitude, it's no wonder they're not blessed with the joys of giving birth, when they can't even look after the kids when they're here, without feeling hard done by!

SephrinaX · 10/06/2023 20:56

The only unreasonable one is your DH.

Is it really that difficult for him to look after his own children 2 weekends in a row?! I'd be willing to bet you look after them on your own all the time!

Babsexxx · 10/06/2023 21:00

Your DH is a Dick….this isn’t about you going off on your jollies this is about supporting someone close when they absolutely need it the most!

batsandeggs · 10/06/2023 21:03

He’s being wildly selfish. You’re doing a wonderful thing for your friend and your kids seem a total reasonable age for you to be on call and need to disappear for a while.

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