To ask if I can change my mind about starting a new job this late?

[i3456765]

I am due to start a new job on Monday. My work laptop and IT equipment has arrived.

My mental health is really, really low. I don't feel well enough to work at the moment. I had to take some time off last year in my previous job for context so I know the warning signs of my mental health slipping. I just don't feel mentally strong enough to start a job at the moment, I experienced a lot of stress and anxiety in my previous role and my new job is the same role in a different company. I had given myself a month off between leaving my old job and starting my new one, which I thought would be long enough to help but I'm struggling still. I feel trapped and like I just want to run away.

If you are due into an office on Monday IMO you need to go in person regardless of whether you want to quit or not. You can go straight to personnel or your boss and explain you won't be able to take up the post - be apologetic and then leave but please don't just send an email and hope the right person receives it.

No I'd be working from home tomorrow.

Then I would send a message to HR and your boss asking him to call you as a matter of urgency first thing and get straight on the phone in the morning and tell them that unfortunately you won't be able to take up the role and you're very sorry for the inconvenience. I think you probably owe it to them to give them a basic explanation that you certainly don't need to go into your medical history. Not sure on the legal implications of not starting a job when you sign the contract but given it is for health reasons you may need to get doctors sign off stating you are not fit to work

My sympathies for your situation OP!

From the Gov.UK website:
If a new employee changes their mind
If someone accepts an unconditional offer and then changes their mind, the employer can:

• make them work out any contractual element of their notice
• sue them for breach of contract

So, it looks like you would have to give notice - did you say it's one week in your probation period?
However, if you really can't face giving the required notice and going into the office (which actually sounds like a waste of time on both sides), then maybe you could get a sick note from your doctor and submit that along with your letter of resignation?

Best of luck in whatever you decide to do! - and if you think you'll be happier in an NHS type job, then go for it!! Life's too short to do shit jobs that you don't really want to do 🙂

and/or maybe, as raisingthebarbell says, give them a ring to explain?

You can do but imo you still would have to ring first thing on Monday. Depending on the work place they might not get into their emails till later in the morning (I definitely don't check them first thing but am not in an office type job so unsure what goes on in other places) and it would be even more awkward if they haven't seen it and are waiting for you to log on for work etc (assuming there's some type of control on whether you're actually logged on and working even if from home) and them having to call you because you haven't "turned up".

Like I said it's going to be uncomfortable but worst thing they can do is force you to work your notice (which frankly would be a complete waste of their time and means they'd have to pay you for a week's work which seems like more of a hassle setting up payroll etc). They can sue you for breach of contract only if you absolutely refuse to do that (and or try and keep the equipment) and realistically nobody is going to go into that much trouble unless you were absolutely necessary for the business and/or decided to go work for a competitoe instead and even if they did i highly doubt they'd have a case (worst they could claim is loss of time waiting a month for you to start and not looking for another employee and would have to demonstrate how that actually equitated to loss of income/proft which, unless you're in upper managerial positions seems unlikely)

How did you get on OP, did you talk to them?

I ended up speaking to my manager to say I wasn't well enough to start work. I didn't specify that it is mental health. My manager replied saying he will let HR know. I've reached out to HR to ask what to do about the laptop and IT equipment but haven't heard anything back yet.

I feel awful and really guilty, but I accepted the job offer in good faith that I would be able to do it.

I have also realised that there is a big difference between nerves and anxiety that you can push through and end up growing from, and dread and almost a meltdown that if you push through you will end up even worse off and more unwell. I've spent my entire life being anxious and having to push through things so it's my natural response to dread to push through, and I worry that people will judge me as lacking resilience or being pathetic. But I'm starting to learn more about myself and know when I can push myself and when I can't/shouldn't. I think other autistic women may be able to relate (I'm not diagnosed but 99% sure I have it).

Good for you for speaking up! I suffer from GAD and also think am somewhere on the spectrum so my first natural instinct when things get tough is "run". And sometimes you gottn just ignore that voice and get on with it, but others you need to listen to it as it can lead to bigger problems if you don't. Only you know what's right for you and if money wasn't an issue for me (I have emigrated so have no family support/place to live etc if I dont' earn an income) I would have taken breaks from work when struggling (and have done so in past before moving here).

I hope you feel a lot better not having this looming over you anymore and please start focusing on you and your wants/needs rather than "what will they think". At the end of the day most workplaces would replace you without batting an eyelid if it was convenient to them so you owe them nothing, they don't do you a favour by hiring you, so you don't owe them anything! Hugs!